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Men's Rules

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Mike1911, Feb 1, 2006.

  1. Mike1911

    Mike1911

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    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
    Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men ARE not mind readers.
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
    that way.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do
    not work!
    Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
    1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
    what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
    to act like soap opera guys.
    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
    1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
    done. Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.
    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not color!
    Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
    nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
    you don't want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
    fine...really.
    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you're prepared to
    discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
    1. You have enough clothes.
    1. You have too many shoes.
    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
    tonight; But did you know that men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
    Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a BIGGER laugh.
     

  2. Cross-X

    Cross-X Shooting at the big range in heaven Dealer NES Member

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    Some of those rules surely brighened my day. Thanks for sharing!
     
  3. dwarven1

    dwarven1 Appleseed Instructor

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    I really like Rule #1... [lol]
     
  4. dreppucci007

    dreppucci007 Moderator NES Member

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    I love that list, too...but, didn't we just see that list like 2 weeks ago? Or at least something extremely similar...either that or I seem to be remembering jokes VERY well.
     
  5. dreppucci007

    dreppucci007 Moderator NES Member

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