Holy s#*t man I am so sorry for you and your family... the thought of this scares the hell out of me cause my little one goes through this at least once a year due to her being premature. I can't begin to imagine how you feel rite now knowing how I feel when mine gets pretty bad. =/
I will add that a loss like this can either break your relationships with your loved ones or strengthen them.
Do NOT let your loss be compounded by losing your relationships. They will be strained, especially you and your wife. I know. I've been there. You will ask yourselves if there was something you could have done. If there was something you should have known. If you could have got her to the doctor sooner, etc. I won't tell you to not ask those questions. I almost think you have to. But when you answer them, know that you did EVERYTHING you could have done. I still ask myself these questions occasionally almost 21 years later. But I know my loss was not my fault. And I won't tell you it gets easier. But it gets "different."
I have posted it before. this is the only picture I can find right now of my one and only tattoo. It took me 18 years to get. It's a memorial for my daughter Autumn. (no the "Do Your Job" is NOT part of my tattoo)
OMG I can't even imagine what you are going through. Just reading this and thinking of my little girl brought tears to my eyes. I am so incredibly sorry for you and your loved ones loss. All of you will be in my prayers.
My heart weeps for you. Having suffered the loss of a child myself I know that there is no greater pain, no greater loss. Seek solace where you find it. Hold everyone close and keep the memories closer. I am truly sorry for you loss and will pray for you and your family.