Letter home from Paris Island

[dwarven1]

FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT PARIS ISLAND MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT.

Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice but awful flat.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter, Gail.

 

[Lynne]

[lol] [lol] [lol] I like it....but then you probably guessed I would. Sue too I bet.

 

[MrsWildweasel]

Yup, been around awhile but still like it. It applies to Alan alot. Alan and city boys were something else in basic and AIT. They had to do map reading. 4 man teams. 2 city boys 2 country boys. 2 city boys sat there and argued about where they were going etc. 2 country boys went through it in no time leaving 2 city boys lost in the woods. DI's were amused,made them do push ups etc for awhile,because you're not supposed to leave anyone behind. After about 2 hours they made the 2 country boys go back in and find them and bring them back. Moral of the story listen to the country boys. [lol]

 

[KMaurer]

The big problem is that those city boys think that they're so damn much smarter than everybody else. Sometimes you got to go upside their heads to get them to listen; that still doesn't get them to believe you, but it does shut them up while you're saving their sorry asses.

Ken

 

[MrsWildweasel]

Yeah, Alan said they would sit there and debate about it. Alan like give me the map, etc. and lets go end of discussion. [lol] He said the push ups were worth it though.

 

[Skald]

The big problem is that those city boys think that they're so damn much smarter than everybody else. Sometimes you got to go upside their heads to get them to listen; that still doesn't get them to believe you, but it does shut them up while you're saving their sorry asses.

Ken

And live in a fantasy world too, can't forget that.

 

[Chris]

Liberal Nervana

 

[JuergenG]

Just love it !

Here's a similar one:

Subject: MORAL

The teacher gave her fifth grade class the following assignment: Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the
kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story
about my Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane
got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask
of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way
down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed
right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.

She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed
four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke and then she killed the last
one with her bare hands.

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your
daddy teach you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the Heck away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking!“

 

[C-pher]

I like that last one...