Joke -- What does IDPA stand for?

What's the difference between a Dead Lawyer in the road, and a Dead Skunk in the road?





One has skid marks from brakes, the other has skid marks from ACCELERATION. [lol]
 
Cross-X said:
Oh, no, not another "horse's *sses" jag again.


Is Ross lurking nearby?

Me, JAG Corps? Just my additional MOS, NOT my primary (or my regular job). My primary is vehicular maintenance.

And are you "THAT" Darius? I think you'll know which one I'm referring to.
 
Nickle said:
Cross-X said:
Oh, no, not another "horse's *sses" jag again.


Is Ross lurking nearby?

Me, JAG Corps? Just my additional MOS, NOT my primary (or my regular job). My primary is vehicular maintenance.

And are you "THAT" Darius? I think you'll know which one I'm referring to.


You mean there is more than one of me?

OMG, I better check!

Identity theft, identity theft -- I been robbed!





Precisely which Darius do you know?







[roll]
 
Gee, thanks!


Much of what I do professionally involves helping keep good people out of trouble and unraveling the troubles of those who don't find me until it is almost too late.

I have been fortunate to have more than my fair share of gun-related successes.
 
These two MIT students were talking one day.

One said to the other, "You are not going to believe what happened to me! I was catching some sun in the park the other day when this luscious blonde rode up on a bike, took off all of her clothes, threw herself down and said, "Take whatever you want!".

""So what did you do," said his friend.

"I took her bike!"

"Very smart", his friend said. "Her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway!"
 
OK, since we're off on a protracted lawyer joke "jag" (sorry, couldn't resist), I might as well jump in. No, I'm not going to post one of the absurdly large number of such jokes that I've heard over the years, most of them from lawyers. Instead, I'm going expound on one of the oldest one, which everyone already knows.

“First thing we do, is kill all the lawyers."

Dick the Butcher in Shakespeare's Henry VI (Part 2) (Act IV, Scene II)

There's just two problems with this one. First, is the relatively minor matter of the character who says it. His name is pretty much a give-away, Dick is out to create a violent revolution in an attempt to put Jack Cade on the throne. (Cade himself is just a unwitting dupe for one of the real players in the game, the Duke of York,) Some lawyers are aware of this and like to turn into a statement of their roles as guardians against the forces of chaos.

The real problem is that they're both wrong. Shakespeare isn't writing about, and Dick isn't talking about, lawyers. But, but, but, he said "lawyers"! Exactly. Even in Shakespeare's time, if he'd wanted to indicate what we call a lawyer, he'd have used to British terms in use both then and today -- either barristers or solicitors (a distinction that was much greater then than it is today). So just who was it the target? When Shakespeare wrote it, the term "lawyer" meant someone who wrote the laws, a legislator.

So if you take Dick the Butcher's advice seriously, don't head for your local attorney's office; head for Beacon Hill. [wink]

Ken
 
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