I need some advice.....

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So I tried some of the suggestions today......wow, this is harder than I thought it would be. So, I went to five guys burgers with two coworkers, and I basically had to zone out, and stare out the window concentrating only on my eating. I then tried the 25 chews. No dice. A typical bite for me is roughly 5 chews, I realized this is the hiccup issue, I'm literally swallowing my food without chewing, like you see in the cartoons, gulp and it's gone. So what I noticed seemed to work, is I basically put the food in my cheek to prevent swallowing it, and slowly chew it. Result, no hiccuping and I was the last one done with my lunch, that, never happens [laugh].

Seriously though, thanks for a lot of the advice, its a habit that needs some changing.
 
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OK, so the lutefisk idea didn't work for you then?

How about this. Take a bite, and then savor the taste. While you do this, imagine where the food came from, whether it is beef, potato, salad, or whatever. Picture the color of it as it grows through its life stages. Picture how it was harvested or slaughtered. Picture how it was cooked and prepared. Then take another bite.

That, or have a beer.
 
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read op; skipped to end of thread.

you and i can cuddle when go-time hits. i'll have about 12 weeks before i am struck with a crippling headache and %0 combat effective.

i'll lay there in pain double-fisting prescriptions and you will be hiccuping from dinner and we'll take a JDAM or hellfire right up the poop-chute.
Lmao this cracked me up
 
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Move to NYC. They're bound to implement strict, legal guidelines on meal duration sooner rather than later. Let the judicial system deal with it. In the end, it's for the children.
 
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OK, so the lutefisk idea didn't work for you then?

How about this. Take a bite, and then savor the taste. While you do this, imagine where the food came from, whether it is beef, potato, salad, or whatever. Picture the color of it as it grows through its life stages. Picture how it was harvested or slaughtered. Picture how it was cooked and prepared. Then take another bite.

That, or have a beer.
That's kind of what I did today, well sort of, I just focused on mashing the food up. Usually I need a drink to wash the food down, as sometimes, it literally gets "stuck" in my chest and thats when I get insanely painful hiccups and it inhibits my breathing. Eating for me is very systematic and surrounded by a timing structure. Chew swallow chew swallow, drink, chew swallow, chew swallow, drink. It's so bizarre. So much so that my coworkers literally just watch in amazement as I inhale food. Sucks [laugh]

- - - Updated - - -

Move to NYC. They're bound to implement strict, legal guidelines on meal duration sooner rather than later. Let the judicial system deal with it. In the end, it's for the children.
[laugh] I'm Bloomdicks worst nightmare, as I can inhale two or three burgers like it's nobodies business.
 
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I'm Bloomdicks worst nightmare, as I can inhale two or three burgers like it's nobodies business.
I say don't change a thing. Embrace your gluttony. Make peace with the fact that you're a pig. [laugh]

I suggest that when you go on a date, order something you don't like; something you can barely choke down. Or else, something insanely spicy. That should slow you down.
 

Realtor MA

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Follow steps and rules below until you are cured

1) Buy some pepper spray and a taser
2) never eat alone
3) ask your friends for help. They'll be joining you for all of your meals.
4) whoever you are dining with holds the pepper spray and taser
5) your goal is to keep pace with the other person and to finish after the other person finishes
6) if you get too far ahead of your friend they hit you with the pepper spray or tase you. Their choice.

I'm pretty sure this will work.
 

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"So what I noticed seemed to work, is I basically put the food in my cheek to prevent swallowing it, and slowly chew it. Result, no hiccuping and I was the last one done with my lunch, that, never happens [laugh]. "

Congrats, the simple act of noticing is the key - to being mindful, rather than mindless. It's not a value judgement either, if you want to eat to near suffocation fine - as long as you're aware of it, then you're in control. A common exercise in self-observation is to imagine yourself standing next to the table, watching yourself as you sit and eat. Good luck!
 

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Ok so bear with me, this might sound really goofy at first, but it's a really bothersome issue for me. I eat, insanely fast. I'm talking like, holy shit, where did it go fast. Now normally no big deal, but when I eat it causes extreme bouts of hiccups and sometimes, if I'm super rushing, I almost lose my breath. To give you some perspective, I could eat two or three hamburgers, with fries and a drink, in the time it a average person to eat half of one burger. Thing is, it's not like I do it rudely or disgustingly, as most people don't even notice till I sit back and they see my "plate" is empty. And no, I don't weigh 500lbs [laugh]

I know, I know, you're probably thinking, really dude?, but it's an issue for me. More often than not, when I'm eating with people, and I finish, their eyes explode out of their heads and cannot believe I ate my food that fast, and thats just normal for me, not even rushing. I'm seriously out of ideas as to what to do. No matter how much I try to focus on eating slower, it's almost like I get faster. I need some serious suggestions on how to slow down my eating habits, because its a pain in the ass. I've even contemplated hypnotherapy, yes, it's that bad.

So does anyone else have this issue, or have some tips on how to curb this?
You need to masticate more. [grin]
 
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[smile]

My dog used to eat too fast. The Vet. told me to mix some rocks in with her food to slow her down. Try this. If it doesn't work, don't go swimming after you eat.
 

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So, it sounds like you eat a lot of burgers, or other finger foods?

Switch to plated entrees, something that requires a fork and a knife to eat. Cut small bites (pretend you're a toddler, if that's what it takes) and chew. That should at least offset the speed a little.
 
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So, it sounds like you eat a lot of burgers, or other finger foods?

Switch to plated entrees, something that requires a fork and a knife to eat. Cut small bites (pretend you're a toddler, if that's what it takes) and chew. That should at least offset the speed a little.
No not particularly, even stuff I need to cut and use a fork for, I manage to inhale. I've slowly been able to start to curb this bad habit though.
 
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I'm the same way. My whole family (brothers, parents) eat fast. I was the youngest, and if I didn't eat fast, I didn't get seconds. My family could sit down for Thanksgiving dinner, and be done eating, and clearing the table in less than fifteen minutes. So it's not just "me."

I also prefer my hot food be HOT. I cannot stand to let a steak sit on the plate and get cold. Fries, too. I'll snarf down the whole order of fries (e.g. at McDonald's) before taking the first bite of my burger.

I'll try some of the suggestions above. I realize it's not healthy. Chew more. Put the fork down between bites & until my mouth is empty before picking it back up again.

Not sure how this would work with a Five Guys burger. They're usually so messy you CAN'T put the burger down, or you wouldn't be able to pick it back up because it'll have disintegrated by then.
 
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Drink more.
This but make that drink water. The hiccups are from your esophagus contracting/overworking. Water in-between bites will help that since the food doesn't have enough saliva to make its way down your pie-hole at mack 3 [smile].

I feel your pain when it come to eating. I went to college for engineering and who has time to eat? Wife has the same problem. Therefore we have the fastest dinners ever. Steak with all the fixings is gone in 20 seconds. It takes me longer to cut my food than to eat it. All my friends who have known me for years are always impressed with the speed that I eat my food. They might get one bite into a burger and my plate is cleared.

Just last weekend my buddy was grilling I grabbed a burger and he was about to offer me a plate. He got as far as "you want a pl.. never mind"
 

Spanz

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they say to put your fork down and chew 20 times before swallowing. try that one.
 

EddieCoyle

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How the Christ did I miss this thread?

To paraphrase the OP:

"I eat too fast, don't feel good afterwards, and can't figure out what to do. Please help."

Here's what to do:

Tattoo your PIN# onto your arm.
 
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