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I Hate Some of My Customers

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Broccoli Iglesias, Aug 16, 2019.

  1. Broccoli Iglesias

    Broccoli Iglesias NES Member

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    I wasnt sure if I should post this, but f*ck it.

    Let me give you some background ...

    I run a landscaping company and I am constantly checking competitors pricing in order to give people the best price possible. If I cannot be at a job myself, I usually stop by to check and make sure my guys did a good job.

    A few days ago, a couple of my guys called in sick, so I went to do a job for a new customer. We spoke over the phone first, he told me my price was competitive and he sounded like a nice guy. So far so good, he was very polite.

    I arrive to his house, nice middle class white guy.
    I think he voted for Trump, but I didnt say anything just in case he was a Libtard - I later found out he was a Trump supporter. More on that below.

    He showed me around, he had a nice yard with some interesting plants (see pic below), but it was a little bit of a mess. He told me how much he hated doing yard work and that's why he hired people like me (he had a white privilege tone to his voice). He kept telling me that we would negotiate the price, I kept telling him we already spoke over the phone and agreed to a price and payment method, but he kept cutting me off. Anyway, he reassured me I would still get paid what we agreed. I think he was high.

    Anyway, I do the work. My kick a** new lawn mower made my day a lot easier...

    22256-004_zpslwypholq.jpg

    Check out how nice his yard looks now:

    (After I was done)
    article-2214208-1563E932000005DC-990_634x455.jpg
    I should mention ... I had my daughter helping me out, this creep wouldnt stop staring at her. She is 16 and trying to save money for college.

    Fast forward to the end of the day. We did a great job, his yard looks clean (looked like a jungle before), he is happy with the work and then tries to pay me with a check.

    I was very clear with him over the phone, I told him my bank charges me $6 to cash a check, so the check would need to be for $506. I told him he could pay me cash, but he said "so you can keep it and not pay taxes?"

    That's where it all went to hell. He threw rocks at my nice, new lawn mower (now it has a huge dent), and started yelling at me because I have an accent. He thought I was an illegal, so he started telling me what a POS I was, that I should have a bank account and that he couldnt wait for Trump to build the wall so people like me would stay out of this country ... (I let him go on without telling him I'm a citizen)

    I told him to just give me the $500 and I left as fast as possible. I was afraid he would try to shoot me.

    What Would NES do in this situation?
     
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  2. snax

    snax NES Member

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    This does not fail to entertain.
    Please tell me that is a real lawnmower tho.
    I want one.
     
  3. The5thDentist

    The5thDentist NES Life Member NES Member

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    Wait. Is this real or a parody post?
     
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  4. Dennis in MA

    Dennis in MA NES Member

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    ROFL!!! You had me hooked for quite a while on that one. The mower - I was all ????
     
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  5. GaryO

    GaryO NES Member

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    I need to know...was it indica or sativa?
     
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  6. headednorth

    headednorth NES Member

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    Took me a while to connect this with the other thread. The whole time Im thinking, "doesnt this dude sell software in LATAM?"
     
  7. arsco

    arsco NES Member

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    Love that mower
     
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  8. GaryO

    GaryO NES Member

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    The 6 dollars was the giveaway
     
  9. amm5061

    amm5061 NES Member

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    Upper decker, bang wife, keys on roof. [rofl]

    Very nicely done, btw.
     
  10. headednorth

    headednorth NES Member

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    Yes, thats where I finally was like "ahh...ok". The best parody threads are the ones that take a while to figure out.
     
  11. chrbla2000

    chrbla2000 NES Member

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    LOL, awesome.
     
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  12. BBQ.Uncle

    BBQ.Uncle NES Life Member NES Member

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  13. nstassel

    nstassel NES Member

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    Bush was a nice touch.
     
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  14. xjma99

    xjma99 NES Member

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    You should have liberated atleAst 6 dollars worth of his weed.
     
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  15. JayMcB

    JayMcB NES Member

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    [rofl][rofl][rofl][rofl]

    priceless.....
     
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  16. capewalk

    capewalk NES Member

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    As a much younger man I cut lawns and did clean ups as a side job. I actually did quite well for many years. Most of my customers were nice but I did have some issues. I learned to stay away from people who were price conscience. There was no negotiation. I'm quoting you what I need to make it profitable for me. If you think I'm going to come to your house with a full size pickup towing a trailer with thousands of dollars of power equipment for what I can make working at McDonalds you're sadly mistaken. The stuff people would say never ceased to amuse me. Oh, now that you're cutting 4 lawns in the neighborhood at once you should lower the price for everyone. That didn't happen. Or the guy who pissed and moaned every time he paid me because his college aged son who had mommy and daddy paying his tuition refused to cut the lawn. The one time he tried to cut it he saw a snake freaked out and refused to cut it. This house happened to be in an area where I cut more than a few lawns. Oddly enough this squeamish young man had a steady stream of quite attractive young women ringing the doorbell. That part had me shaking my head. I ended up stopping because there were to many people working for low hourly rate. I'll bet all of them got a rude awakening when it came time to repair and replace equipment.
     
  17. buckfarack

    buckfarack NES Member

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    Priceless [rofl][rofl][rofl]
     
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  18. new guy

    new guy NES Member

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    That is a cool mower. Too nice to actually use though.
     
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  19. dragonballzz

    dragonballzz

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    [​IMG]

    The 2 different quality in pictures raised my suspicions though. The lawnmower photo looked recent. The lawn photo looks like it was taken with a Blackberry
     
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  20. silversquirrel

    silversquirrel NES Member

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    So, no bagger on that thing? Lets see the leaf blower
     
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  21. cockpitbob

    cockpitbob NES Member

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    [rofl] And yes, the mower is awesome.

    I will say I'm a little disappointed. Since @bostonshooter isn't entertaining us with his stories of PITA customers in his A Rant If I May thread, I was hoping this would become a good substitute[laugh]
     
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  22. Asaltweapon

    Asaltweapon NES Member

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    Yup. 6 bucks did it.
     
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  23. daekken

    daekken NES Member

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    I think you mean 'reef blower'
     
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  24. W.E.C

    W.E.C NES Member

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    Hey, where’s the fuzzy dice hanging off the mower? And the dog with the bobbing head?

    I’m calling shenanigans.
     
  25. commodon

    commodon NES Member

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    For me, it was as soon as I saw the pic of the mower. Once I saw that, there was no way this post could be real...
     
  26. Broccoli Iglesias

    Broccoli Iglesias NES Member

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    SmartSelect_20190816-101858_Gallery.jpg
     
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  27. headednorth

    headednorth NES Member

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    "It is not the crook in modern business that we fear, but the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing."
    -Owen D. Young
     
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  28. Bonesinium

    Bonesinium

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    I’ve missed if. What thread is being parodied?
     
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  29. Brucewillis4316

    Brucewillis4316 NES Member

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  30. buckfarack

    buckfarack NES Member

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    Truer words have never been spoken...
     
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