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How to introduce a family member to firearms?

S

shakti

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Hello friends at NES,

I am a relative newbie myself, only having less than a year of fire arms experience. However, I love it and my wife was a sport and went and got the LTC as well even though she is very much reluctant to use a firearm. She feels her hand is weak and she does not feel confident. I have tried to get her to the range but generally been unsuccessful.

However, my 21yr old daughter, who has been to the range with me and seen people shoot really does not want to have anything to do with firearms at all. She does not want to get an LTC even though I tell her that girls like her are the ones who will benefit the most from it.

So, I am looking for advice and ideas on how to get them to consider the idea of getting an LTC and going to the range.

Thank you
 
Self reliance isn’t for everybody. If you find that to be the case don’t push too hard or you’ll turn them away further. Start slow and educate with facts along the way. Maybe start your wife out on a smaller .22 revolver so it’s not such a kick in her hands as a full size defensive pistol.

I’d also suggest trying to get ‘whoever’ to a range at maybe the quietest times of the week. Bringing them in when it’s busy may be over stimulating and fearful being surrounded by strangers firing right next to you on both sides, indoors being even louder and sometimes feeling that percussion from the next stall. Find a quiet peaceful outdoor place, make it fun, bring a picnic lunch or something for the wife and just take it slow and deliberate.

As far as the daughter, she’s probably been hearing ‘guns bad’ her whole life in school so good luck with that. Depending on age and location she may be fully indoctrinated already.
 
Things that helped me help them:
- Don't stress the "get an LTC". Work on the 'learning a skill' and how, knowing the basics makes them broader and more well rounded and safer around firearms even if they themselves never want to shoot them.
- Bring themto a range you know to be frequented by nicer more 'mainstream' people. Some ranges are magnets for a certain rabid demographic
- Go when it's less crowded.
- Offer to pay for a 'just for women' class, ideally taught by a woman.
- Start them off on .22. A Ruger Mk something can be a good choice because they eat even the .22 light recoil pretty well, or a .22LR rifle.
- Focus on the 'sport' aspects rather than the self defense aspects.
- Hook them up with Lena Miculek intro videos on YouTube. (She's both really good and a really good, low key, sane seeming presenter.)
- Add it to a schedule of activities (food for the win)

Slow, patient, calm, respect their concerns, be positive and supportive about skill acquisition not "you woulda got the bad guy".
 
My wife is petite. She likes to shoot but the pistol recoil is a bit much for her and used to make her flinch. The 22 didn't bother her so I got her a ruger 5.7. The round is big so the grip is a little hard compared to a 9mm. The fn five seven grip is way too big and she didn't like it. The ruger was perfect. It's a high velocity round but kicks like a 22.
 
You can’t make someone like something. They do have female-only range classes and instructors, so maybe get a class like that for the daughter and wife to spend time together and then see if it peaks any interest.

your daughter may get interested after watching some of She Equips Herself videos. I think she is a local woman who chronicled her journey from the beginning, and has a unique perspective for a young woman getting started in everyday carry. I know a few women who felt her videos helped bring the idea of carrying a firearm into their realm, and not out in the world of John Wick where the NES stud club resides:

 
sos, different day. you can't force anyone to like firearms. think back when you were a child and your parents tried to force something on you. you just pushed back harder. i did.
 
for women, I would 100% suggest a women only event... Women on Target or something similar. Changed my wife's perspective 180°. That's why I committed to running them then teaching them myself.

www.northeastshooters.com

Women on Target Class 9/9/2023 in Wrentham

fourth time we're doing this... have gotten over 70 women trained so far... Please spread the word... it's a fun day. Pictures from prior classes: She Shoots Straight 2022 2021 Women on Target 2019 Women on Target See NRA link to sign up. It would really help out if you could print out...
www.northeastshooters.com www.northeastshooters.com
 
NES has several female shooters that post, hopefully some of them will chime in with some personal experience for you.
 
My old lady has never been interested in carrying, but between a recent encounter with a bad pitbull owner and a weekend in Louisville, KY she’s starting to show interest.
 
One more: Muffs and plugs made a huge difference winning somebody I worked with for more range comfort who now has their LTC and shoots very well.
 
You can't make it happen. My 12 year old is uninterested, so I don't push it. I told him if he chooses not to own guns one day, that's his choice, but he WILL know how to use them safely so he can make that decision for himself. So he goes along with learning, knowing he's getting something but also his own choice one day. I think he will make the right choice someday.
 
There are people out there who don't think plinking cans is fun? Guns aren't merely designed to shoot assault style bullets at sandy hook style children.
 
It's been said plenty, but you can't make someone like something that you do.

Worth observing, also, there's a lot of folks that feel that if we're forced into something, the only correct response is to reject it/rebel/fight against it, etc. Pretty natural response. Consider the reverse. Your wife/daughter gets on a forum, and asks how to get you UNinterested in firearms, then approaches you with the advice they receive. Feel free to fight it, I'll expect you over on the MGTOW thread shortly after.

Sure, there's lots of arguments about how it could be helpful for her, but comes with the caveat that if she's uncomfortable, forced into it, etc, it can end up being significantly more hazardous for her than good.
 
SIGNES said:
One more: Muffs and plugs made a huge difference winning somebody I worked with for more range comfort who now has their LTC and shoots very well.
Click to expand...
Plugs and muffs indeed. Protects you from that guy over in the next lane at AFS who decides to bring his .308 AR with the big dick energy muzzle brake to shoot 50 feet indoors.
 
shakti said:
Hello friends at NES,

I am a relative newbie myself, only having less than a year of fire arms experience. However, I love it and my wife was a sport and went and got the LTC as well even though she is very much reluctant to use a firearm. She feels her hand is weak and she does not feel confident. I have tried to get her to the range but generally been unsuccessful.

However, my 21yr old daughter, who has been to the range with me and seen people shoot really does not want to have anything to do with firearms at all. She does not want to get an LTC even though I tell her that girls like her are the ones who will benefit the most from it.

So, I am looking for advice and ideas on how to get them to consider the idea of getting an LTC and going to the range.

Thank you
Click to expand...
don`t need an ltc to go to the range, and, .22lr rugers are good for beginners.

at 21yr old it is an adult to deal with, so, if she says no - it means no. the sig academy idea above would work well if mom and daughter would want to do it together.
 
Ron Jablonski said:
All you can do is plant the seed, only they decide if they want it to grow.
Click to expand...
This. The more you push it, the less they will want to do it.

What I would do is tell her you will pay for her LTC class and application just so she can have it. No pressure on buying a gun or going to the range, but this way if she decides she ever wants one she will have the license and if she doesn't that is fine, it is another form of ID she can use in the future.

But that is it, don't push it.
 
Last edited:
To make a proper introduction, introduce the lower ranking to the higher ranking: "Ms. Sally, may I introduce Glocky Glock."
 
You can not change a woman's mind no one can... It has to be her own decision. There is no way to force that decision. The only thing you will accomplish is her hating you for trying.
My wife wants nothing to do with firearms and dosent want her LTC even though I have tried to convince her that having firearms in the house makes it almost essential. I have explained what could happen if something would happen to me like dropping dead and that has not changed her mind.
The one good thing is she dosent care if I have firearms, spend money on firearms or have firearms in the house she just doesn't want to be involved.
 
G4Y4HK said:
Plugs and muffs indeed. Protects you from that guy over in the next lane at AFS who decides to bring his .308 AR with the big dick energy muzzle brake to shoot 50 feet indoors.
Click to expand...
Or that stud with the 45/70 and 460 revolvers.
 
JDL said:
You can not change a woman's mind no one can... It has to be her own decision. There is no way to force that decision. The only thing you will accomplish is her hating you for trying.
My wife wants nothing to do with firearms and dosent want her LTC even though I have tried to convince that having firearms in the house makes it almost essential. I have explained what could happen if something would happen to me like dropping dead and that has not changed her mind.
The one good thing is she dosent care if I have firearms, spend money on firearms or have firearms in the house she just doesn't want to be involved.
Click to expand...
We must be married to the same woman. Mine is the same way.
 
Woman's only classes. This is the way.
Also: don't push it, they will push back.
As was said, let it grow organically.
EVERYONE loves guns, they all just don't know it yet.
 
JDL said:
My wife wants nothing to do with firearms and dosent want her LTC even though I have tried to convince her that having firearms in the house makes it almost essential. I have explained what could happen if something would happen to me like dropping dead and that has not changed her mind.
Click to expand...

Sounds like my wife except when I leave for a business trip she always asks me for the combination to the quick access pistol safe as if she would even know how to load and shoot it. Years ago she shot a Ruger Mark III and a 1911 and was actually a decent shot but she hasn't touched a gun since then.
 
EMTDAD said:
for women, I would 100% suggest a women only event... Women on Target or something similar. Changed my wife's perspective 180°. That's why I committed to running them then teaching them myself.

www.northeastshooters.com

Women on Target Class 9/9/2023 in Wrentham

fourth time we're doing this... have gotten over 70 women trained so far... Please spread the word... it's a fun day. Pictures from prior classes: She Shoots Straight 2022 2021 Women on Target 2019 Women on Target See NRA link to sign up. It would really help out if you could print out...
www.northeastshooters.com www.northeastshooters.com
Click to expand...

Happy to assist if you need an extra instructor and there are hot single wommens... [banana]
 
G4Y4HK said:
Plugs and muffs indeed. Protects you from that guy over in the next lane at AFS who decides to bring his .308 AR with the big dick energy muzzle brake to shoot 50 feet indoors.
Click to expand...

It's not so bad when they shoot prone, takes a little bit out of the shock wave when they're lying on the ground shooting. Not kidding, have seen people do that there on the rifle (25 yard) range... [rofl]
 

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