1. If you enjoy the forum please consider supporting it by signing up for a NES Membership  The benefits pay for the membership many times over.

  2. NES Life memberships are now available, click here for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  3. Dismiss Notice

Horrible Co-Worker Vent Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by J.A.C, Oct 19, 2016.

  1. drgrant

    drgrant Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    60,135
    Likes Received:
    11,798
    I had to share an office for a couple years with a guy that I dubbed "fartmaster". My boss and I had a mutual understanding that if I ever just got up and left said office it was probably because fartmaster dropped an eye searing bunt in there, and that if they needed me, they could just call my cell phone because I was going to be gone for 10 minutes or so getting a coffee or something from up the street....

    There were never any mild ones either, this guy either dropped nothing, or eye searing SBDs. Not even any noise to laugh about, etc.

    I think eventually my boss took pity on me and once our telecom lady retired, I was given her office at least one door down....

    I repeat myself... lol
    Horrible Co-Worker Vent Thread
    or
    Can I shoot someone for...

    It seems that flatulence is a recurring theme in this thread...

    -Mike
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2017

  2. jayhitek

    jayhitek NES Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2013
    Messages:
    960
    Likes Received:
    88
    Location:
    Metro West MA
    HAHAHAHAHA!
     
  3. smokey-seven

    smokey-seven NES Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    2,245
    Likes Received:
    537
    Location:
    North Shore
    I asked the boss out for lunch, told him to pick the place. I was working 70-80 hours a week and yelling at the wife and kids. A demotion that I was going to ask for was the same pay and 40 hrs a week with lots less stress.

    He chose a deli that I did not care for, but was acceptable. We went and he chose a Caesar salad and I a boiled dinner. It as cafeteria style and we went through the line and sat at a table. As we were in line I explained I wanted the lesser job and would appreciate the endorsement. We sat at the table and as he placed his salad on the table, a cockroach ran out of it and jumped in his lap. He did not see it.

    He looked at me and said, "I really don't see what your problem is."

    I replied, "I understand sir, it's a matter of perspective. I really need the break."

    I got the lesser job and stopped yelling at my kids.
     
    Evadd likes this.
  4. Wickedcoolname

    Wickedcoolname

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2016
    Messages:
    502
    Likes Received:
    262
    I'm self employed and most days I bring my dog to work with me. Once in a while she tries to eat my lunch. That's about the biggest co-worker horror story I have.
    I don't know how you office types do it. If I had to work around people every day I'd lose my mind.
    If I wasn't doing what I'm doing now I think I'd look at being either a lighthouse keeper or a drawbridge operator.
     
  5. Asaltweapon

    Asaltweapon NES Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2008
    Messages:
    8,587
    Likes Received:
    1,710
    Location:
    Northern Mass
    I've been by myself for 27 years now working from home but it's really relaxed.
    Being in a shop with a bunch of other blue collar guys was a lot of fun and I do miss it. Commuting? Not so much.

    Lot of personalities to blend with and break balls with is fun.

    Had a lot of laughs driving a dump truck on the radio.

    Stuck up and stupid people just make the day go by better for the rest of us.
     
  6. jayhitek

    jayhitek NES Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2013
    Messages:
    960
    Likes Received:
    88
    Location:
    Metro West MA
    I had a really pretty receptionist back in the mid 90's that was as dumb as a door nail. She would page over the intercom system any fake name people would give her. It got to the point where she paged, "Dana.. your gay lover is on line 3.. Dana.. Your gay lover is on line 3.."

    One of the office girls walked up to her and was like, Julie! What are you doing??
    what?
    Do you know what you just paged?
    Yah.. umm.. oh.. right.. I'm sorry.
    Dana's married. And he has kids. He's not gay. You know this. And why would someone tell you that was who was calling??
    you're right. oops.

    People would call up with insane fake names and she would just go with it. Like out of the Simpsons but real life.
     
    Boris likes this.
  7. Shark_Cage

    Shark_Cage NES Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2009
    Messages:
    2,778
    Likes Received:
    645
    Location:
    Reading, MA
    When I worked in Gloucester we had the same thing but it was our security guard. Seventy and was a total mush mouth. He would add extra letters into words. People would call in with fake names until he paged Mike Hunt. The whole plant went silent. Then HR went on a witch hunt.

    That places men's room was the absolute smelliest place I have ever been. Think of shit with beer, garlic and anchovies all fermenting in someone. I swear the air had texture.
     
    Koolmoose, Winchester73 and 42! like this.
  8. 42!

    42! NES Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    4,220
    Likes Received:
    1,371
    I'm going to use this line [rofl]
     
  9. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Messages:
    25,062
    Likes Received:
    6,181
    Location:
    PREM
    Ask turbo about air with texture [laugh]
     
  10. MisterHappy

    MisterHappy NES Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2009
    Messages:
    18,231
    Likes Received:
    2,940
    Location:
    On the 16 yard line, shootin' for the Lewis!
    No venting, here.

    I like my place.

    The place I was at before....not so much....

    Merry Christmas!
     
    Delkancott and tuna like this.
  11. headednorth

    headednorth NES Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2012
    Messages:
    7,491
    Likes Received:
    2,148
    "Amanda Hugginkiss? Oh why cant I find Amanda Hugginkiss!?"

    "Maybe your standards are too high!"

    [laugh]
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2017
  12. smokey-seven

    smokey-seven NES Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    2,245
    Likes Received:
    537
    Location:
    North Shore
    Regarding rest rooms:

    Traces of an old grittier past persisted on the facade of the diner. Rotten shingles, partially lit sputtering neon were on the way to the restroom. A certificate on the wall said, “Best Breakfast In Town. 1994” In celebration of that achievement, the bathroom hadn’t been cleaned since.
     
    Delkancott likes this.
  13. Maddawg1952

    Maddawg1952 NES Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2016
    Messages:
    1,418
    Likes Received:
    412
    Location:
    Northshore, Ma.
    If the aroma from a crappy men's room bothers you let me ad a rant from when I worked punch list crews from a Condo Project with a couple hundred units, NEVER EVER open a drywall bucket you find in a closet of a room that the drywall is all hung in already. It's like being sucker punched by Mike Tyson and you'll have that smell in the hairs of your nose for DAYS. Trust me I only did it once.
     
    Delkancott likes this.
  14. Stee

    Stee

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    510
    Likes Received:
    54
    Location:
    West Michigan
    Just retired.. emptied my desk, left one supervisor my magic folder of years of experience, wished everyone well and didn't look back. 40.6 years all done. Told company I was going to retire in January they didn't hire until November. I was on 12 hr days and not once did they have new supervisor train with me. Guess three supervisors on days with a total of 6 years experience have all the answers. I am laughing just thinking of their first two week shutdown and coming back on line..thank god my time is done
     
  15. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2007
    Messages:
    14,196
    Likes Received:
    2,125
    Location:
    NH
    Do you work where I do? This guy a few cubicles down from me every 10 minutes has this massive nose blowing session. He does 7 or 8 very loud long blows in a row that sounds like a kazoo. Every 10 minutes without fail, every day of the year. Summer or winter makes no difference.
     
  16. headednorth

    headednorth NES Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2012
    Messages:
    7,491
    Likes Received:
    2,148
    I may of posted this before, but the guy who sits directly across from me at lunch chews with his mouth open constantly. Sounds like a St Bernard drinking a bowl of water. Drives me insane. He also has this strange thing where he will just randomly start talking to someone who is in the middle of a conversation with someone else. Sometimes its a completely different topic.
     
  17. Stryker

    Stryker NES Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2010
    Messages:
    3,935
    Likes Received:
    1,026
    Location:
    Nashoba Valley, MA
    Congrats on your retirement!! Probably the most peaceful holiday break you have had in a long time.
     
  18. tuna

    tuna NES Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2006
    Messages:
    4,807
    Likes Received:
    2,036
    Location:
    Western Mass
    What a happy day!

    I'm on the building evacuation team, you know, to show people where the exit is when they forget during an emergency.

    Anyway, I didn't hear the announcement today that they were going to test the fire alarm (I was in the crapper and there is no loudspeaker there, plus I was dropping a pretty noisy deuce).

    I get back to my desk, and the fire alarm goes off. I jump up, and see my idiot co-worker just sitting, doing nothing. (I've found most people ignore fire alarms, and look at me weird when I leave a building without being told to, because I don't want to burn) This irritated me, combined with her wasting the hard work of millions of plants to produce oxygen which already irritated me, add to I can't yell or she'll cry (which angers me) and the fact that I had to speak loud to be heard over the alarm, gave me the opportunity to yell at her in my best parade ground voice "GET UP, GET OUT!!!"

    She wasn't expecting that. She jumped six inches in her chair and looked like a cat on a screen door. She told me it was a test, and I asked how she knew that, repeating GET OUT. My boss informed me it was a test, so I finally stopped yelling.

    It's pretty sad when the highlight of your day is when a fire alarm is the only time you can yell at someone and not get in trouble.
     
    Palladin likes this.
  19. Paul455

    Paul455 NES Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2013
    Messages:
    2,017
    Likes Received:
    657
    As you folks here get into your golden years, you will realize that for every good, honest and trusting person you meet, there are at least 7-10 a-holes.....maybe more.
     
    LTCRN and Stryker like this.
  20. 42!

    42! NES Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    4,220
    Likes Received:
    1,371
    I'm starting to think everyone is an A-hole and it's just a matter of degree. You may be a 1 or a 10, but we are all on the scale. [smile][devil]
     
  21. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Messages:
    25,062
    Likes Received:
    6,181
    Location:
    PREM
    Oh, there's no question. I AM an A-hole.
     
  22. Maddawg1952

    Maddawg1952 NES Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2016
    Messages:
    1,418
    Likes Received:
    412
    Location:
    Northshore, Ma.
    I'm thinking that I'm probably a 7 on the a**h**e scale, And I'm willing to bet that most of the kids that work with me will add 2 -3 points to my opinion.
     
  23. appraiser

    appraiser NES Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2008
    Messages:
    7,753
    Likes Received:
    817
  24. 42!

    42! NES Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    4,220
    Likes Received:
    1,371
    So I'm thinking this has the makings of a good poll, but I'm not sure how the mods would respond to a "NES How much of an a-hole are you" poll (with a 1 to 10 scale).
     
  25. mass

    mass NES Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2005
    Messages:
    5,550
    Likes Received:
    1,126
    Location:
    Merrimack Valley
    I'm an 11.
     
  26. Radtekk

    Radtekk NES Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2011
    Messages:
    6,336
    Likes Received:
    2,544
    Location:
    Chelmsford MA
    I actually have a merit badge. Lady Radtekk gave it to me, it's on my day bag. 15158011214711171670717.jpg
     
    Delkancott likes this.
  27. MisterHappy

    MisterHappy NES Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2009
    Messages:
    18,231
    Likes Received:
    2,940
    Location:
    On the 16 yard line, shootin' for the Lewis!
    The problem with the "How Much of an a**h*** Are You?" poll, is that it's a variable.

    I've been given the best assessment, I think: You're a certain people person.
     
  28. Winchester73

    Winchester73

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    678
    Likes Received:
    148
    Location:
    Nipmuc Country Until 1673
    Years back, I was on a school construction job. The sheetrockers were French-Canadians (well ok they were from Manchester, NH-close enough?) They apparently were paid by the sheet, because they never stopped for anything. The bank of outhouses were a long walk from the building and these guys were pissing in soda bottles and shitting in boxes because of the time they felt that they were wasting to act like they were members of civilization. I had enough of the unsanitary conditions and putrid odors and went and had a talk with the Clerk of the Works. I made an off-hand suggestion about calling the Board of Health about it, but he said that he'd take care of it.

    The next day the entire crew was told in no uncertain terms that this shit was to stop (pun intended), and if it didn't then the ENTIRE crew was going to be removed from the job instantly.
     
    Delkancott, Evadd and Maddawg1952 like this.
  29. thorin

    thorin NES Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2012
    Messages:
    551
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Western MA
    Haha we've got a guy in the office who will stand at the table in the breakroom while we are on break and release a SBD and act like nothing happened while everyone looks at each other and rolls their eyes. Dudes breath will knock you over too. I don't know how his wife deals with it. I thought when you got married your wife was supposed to make sure that stuff got fixed.
     
  30. Palladin

    Palladin NES Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2007
    Messages:
    21,989
    Likes Received:
    3,332
    Location:
    Merrimack Valley
    I've seen that at a high rise in Boston, shitting in an empty box, it's always sheetrockers
     

Share This Page