Horrible Co-Worker Vent Thread

enbloc

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Next time make the Flyer Headline:

"BIDEN-2020 RALLY!
......................and Women on Target Event.......................... "
 

ReluctantDecoy

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Sometimes it's the minor things that are the worst.

Had a co-worker, literally the next desk over, who somehow didn't know how to drink water out of a regular Poland Springs bottle. She would like suck on the bottle, compressing it with each sip. Poland Springs switched to reduce plastic bottles like a decade ago, and the result are this really crinkly-loud plastic bottles. Not an issue when an upright-walking person drinks from one. But turns into a grating nightmare when you have this person continually crinkling the hell out of it all day. It would piss me off something fierce, but then I'm probably seen as the weird assh**e if I bring up "I don't like how you drink water".
 

greencobra

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Sometimes it's the minor things that are the worst.

Had a co-worker, literally the next desk over, who somehow didn't know how to drink water out of a regular Poland Springs bottle. She would like suck on the bottle, compressing it with each sip. Poland Springs switched to reduce plastic bottles like a decade ago, and the result are this really crinkly-loud plastic bottles. Not an issue when an upright-walking person drinks from one. But turns into a grating nightmare when you have this person continually crinkling the hell out of it all day. It would piss me off something fierce, but then I'm probably seen as the weird assh**e if I bring up "I don't like how you drink water".
i had to laugh, that old saying came to mind....she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch...jesus, i gotta get a life. [laugh]
 

jct61765

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Sometimes it's the minor things that are the worst.

Had a co-worker, literally the next desk over, who somehow didn't know how to drink water out of a regular Poland Springs bottle. She would like suck on the bottle, compressing it with each sip. Poland Springs switched to reduce plastic bottles like a decade ago, and the result are this really crinkly-loud plastic bottles. Not an issue when an upright-walking person drinks from one. But turns into a grating nightmare when you have this person continually crinkling the hell out of it all day. It would piss me off something fierce, but then I'm probably seen as the weird assh**e if I bring up "I don't like how you drink water".
You should ask her out.
 
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I'm not gonna include the military, because needless to say that can bring things to another level.

Two asshats in the civilian world come to mind

1. I worked as a tech at a chain service center before starting grad school. One of the mechanics, who I will grant was a competent mechanic and was very tidy, except when it came to hygiene, was THE ULTIMATE know-it-all. He couldn't be told he was wrong, and he knew everything. First example: He saw my Marine Corps tattoo and said "oh you were in the Navy." This wasn't the classic ribbing going over my head, he insisted that I had in fact gotten a navy tattoo, and that the Marine Corps emblem was the navy emblem, and that I "must be mistaken." He couldn't accept that he was wrong. Another example was the tire pressure kilopascal ratings. He insisted it was metric for Kilograms per Area. This is the era of google, and he still would scoff at it. He also would SCREAM at his baby momma on the phone, and insisted he was the one who was wronged in the various domestic disputes that resulted in him assaulting her. She came in once and did look like a swamp creature -- not that it is ok to assault swamp creatures, even if they strike first.

2. I did small parts assembly at a family owned gun company while in college. The owner and his family who also ran it were awesome. One of the employees was the classic douche who lied about military service. This was especially nuts since myself and another coworker were actually vets, as well as this kids BROTHER who worked there and told us all he was full of shit when we confronted him. This guy was pararescue, but didn't even google enough of it to know how to answer basic questions. Somehow he got 2 airforce crosses that couldn't be viewed online, and he got out as a 20 something year old 1st SGT even though his expired ID said E2. You could get him to go along with any story. For example I told him he must have attended Marine Corps infantry school as part of his pipeline, to which he agreed, after which we reminisced about all sorts of parts and locations of the training that I just made up as I went along. When confronted he just insisted I was the a**h***. I didn't really care until I found out he tried to get me fired by saying I was a shitty employee, etc, once he found out I deployed with his half brother and knew his stories he told everyone about his half brother being wounded in combat were BS. Management knew he was a pathological liar, but he didn't steal and he more or less showed up and did his work without complaining for 12 bucks an hour or whatever, so they kept him around.
 

MisterHappy

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Sometimes it's the minor things that are the worst.

Had a co-worker, literally the next desk over, who somehow didn't know how to drink water out of a regular Poland Springs bottle. She would like suck on the bottle, compressing it with each sip. Poland Springs switched to reduce plastic bottles like a decade ago, and the result are this really crinkly-loud plastic bottles. Not an issue when an upright-walking person drinks from one. But turns into a grating nightmare when you have this person continually crinkling the hell out of it all day. It would piss me off something fierce, but then I'm probably seen as the weird assh**e if I bring up "I don't like how you drink water".

dude....not quite sure if this belongs here, or in the First-World Horror Story thread. [laugh]
 

clampett

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Sometimes it's the minor things that are the worst.

Had a co-worker, literally the next desk over, who somehow didn't know how to drink water out of a regular Poland Springs bottle. She would like suck on the bottle, compressing it with each sip. Poland Springs switched to reduce plastic bottles like a decade ago, and the result are this really crinkly-loud plastic bottles. Not an issue when an upright-walking person drinks from one. But turns into a grating nightmare when you have this person continually crinkling the hell out of it all day. It would piss me off something fierce, but then I'm probably seen as the weird assh**e if I bring up "I don't like how you drink water".
Like the other guys have suggested, I think she is flirting with you.
 
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I once had a boss who would say stuff like "How much does an air handler cost?"

I'd say "That can vary pretty wildly. Could be $10K, could be $250K"

He'd say "OK, I'm going to put down $100K. Does that sound about right?"

And off he would go.
Some are "Air Handlers" while others are just plain ol "Oxygen Thieves" [rofl] ;)
 

tuna

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I have a troll of a coworker who clears her throat every 45 seconds.

Another c**t who walks like she’s in syrup.

And half of my department bathes in cologne/perfume. I’m glad I’ve got a cold so I get relief from the smell. I’d rather whiff Nancy Pelosi’s depends.

Add top down micromanagement and I don’t care if I get corona virus.
 

BigTimber

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I have a sub contractor that whistles constantly. To no discernible tune just random sounds. Gotten so bad lately that he actually whistles while you’re talking to him over the phone. Who the f*ck does that? Other guys I know that work with him won’t be in the same room with him anymore. I can’t imagine what his poor wife is going through. Good guy but holy sh*t is the whistling a huge annoyance. I only deal with it occasionally and I’ll just crank the radio up and go about my business. If I ever had to work in an office type environment with someone like this one of us wouldn’t be going home at the end of the day eventually.
 

headednorth

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Guy we have lunch with aside from sounding like a German shepherd while he's eating and sucking food out of his teeth when hes done will compulsively shake a cup full of ice throughout his meal. Like 45 min of dragging the cup back and forth across the table rattling the ice. A couple of other guys have started wearing earbuds as they're eating and myself and another guy have been eating in the truck.

Like someone else alluded to earlier, if you complain about the guy shaking ice, you end up sounding like an a**h*** who has nothing better to do than complain about petty shit.
 
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I work with a guy that always refers to himself in 3rd person. It's a little off putting at first but other than this odd quirk he's a pretty solid co-worker.
 

KBCraig

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Management knew he was a pathological liar, but he didn't steal and he more or less showed up and did his work without complaining for 12 bucks an hour or whatever, so they kept him around.
I worked with one of those guys. He'd had Khadaffi in his crosshairs while his spotter was on the satellite link directly to the White House, just waiting for the green light.

He would spend half the shift talking about how many times he banged "the old lady" (his term) the night before, and once this morning just for good measure, and he was going to go do her sister right after work.

He couldn't even keep track of his lies. Didn't even try. One day he was going on about the new truck and new boat he was going to buy with the royalty check he'd just gotten for the book he wrote. The next day, one of the guys asked, "Hey John... I want to buy a copy of your book. What's the title?" John: "Whut book?"
 

drgrant

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Not necessarily a co worker rant, my co workers are great, but some of the people we support, not so much.

This guy was just at our helpdesk begging for some kind of AV cable. He explained that it was temporary. I REAAAALY wanted to march out there (with the user still in attendance, break out into a full risitas laugh, and then go.... "Yeah D (name of other actual co worker whose decent) I bet $100 he won't bring it back. " It's gotten to the point where you have to practically shame them into bringing shit back. I have a few users and other admins etc that are good people and always do, but they're the minority.
 

Roland Deschain

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I have 2 coworkers that chew with mouth open and make the most obnoxious pig noises while they eat. Its unreal, and the second I see them walk in with anything edible I immediately evacuate. How do you breath through your mouth loudly while you eat? I just pray they choke. One of them is 300 pounds and an embarrassment to our job.
 

ReluctantDecoy

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I have 2 coworkers that chew with mouth open and make the most obnoxious pig noises while they eat. Its unreal, and the second I see them walk in with anything edible I immediately evacuate. How do you breath through your mouth loudly while you eat? I just pray they choke. One of them is 300 pounds and an embarrassment to our job.
This is similar to what I was dealing with. Sometimes it's these little quirky issues that are the worst, because then you're the ass if you have the audacity to mention it. I think this is why I just had to deal with it, but now imagine that person 5 feet away from you and doing it all day long.
 
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FUUUUUUUU*K support. Why does support at every company s*ck.

Instead of talking to customers and selling more, I just spent 3 f*cking hours figuring out stupid sh*t support did so a customer can do an RMA for a piece of hardware that support f*cked so bad, it dissapeared from our database.

[/rant]

I thought this was the appropriate thread for this.
 
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