25 years ago, I was in basic training. On August 4th, 1990, while everyone else was enjoying the bicentennial celebration, watching fireworks, eating cook out on the base, I got handed the shortest straw, and had the “Quarterdeck Watch”. Basically I stood in the open area of the squad bay (barracks) and made sure nothing out of the ordinary happened.
In walks GMC (Chief Gunner’s Mate) Martin. Mean bastard. He was short and had blonde hair with a neatly trimmed moustache. He was the company commander (drill instructor) of a class about two weeks ahead of mine. But that mean bastard knew everyone’s name. On that day, he knew mine.
It so happened that the building my company’s squad bay was in had the best view of the fireworks that were going to be fired off at 9:30PM that night. Martin had decided he would take his wife up to an area where they could view the fireworks from a better vantage point.
I had been in basic training for just about a month at that point.
She was hot. I mean, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. More specifically, I could not rip my eyes away from her rack. And then I heard it. “SIMONEAU! Are you eyeballing my wife!?” What was I supposed to say, no? “Sir, yes Sir!” Ah hell, in for a penny, in for a pound. “GET DOWN, one million, begin,” he said as a walked by with his wife next to him, with my eyes still firmly focused on her ass.
About an hour later, my company commander walked on to the Quarter deck to find me on the floor, struggling to get to push-up 132. “Simoneau, what the hell are you doing?” He was a MK1 Dogin (First Class Machinery Technician, that guy never pronounced my name right), and the look on his face made me think I was going to be deeper in the shit than I already was in. “Sir, GMC Martin caught me eyeballing his wife, Sir.” His face changed. He turned beet red like he was stifling laughter. “What did you say to him,” he asked. “Sir, I told him I was, Sir. I wasn’t going to lie to him Sir.” “Simoneau, get up,” he said, trying really hard not to laugh. “You’re not going to make it to a million, so consider your punishment served.”
That was my first Coast Guard Day.