Gun Storage

[davemata]

Mike is right....lack of trust issues, treating you like a child issues fester over time. It may seem little now, but over time, these things add up, and the resentment factor builds. Controlling relationships usually don't end well.....unless, well, you don't like your freedom.

I hear this shxt all the time, can't go to the strip joint, can't buy a gun, can't drink a few, can't hang a Fxcking deer head on the wall...WTF.....that's a recipe for midlife crisis if I ever heard one.....if these women would just let you live a little and trust that you'll be an adult and make good decisions, they'd have a lot less issues later with resentment.

Fair enough, I'll concede the point. I think it's more of a problem that there isn't room for compromise. Maybe though it's because I'm working my way through a semi-comparable situation at home that I can understand both sides of it. Maybe the OP might do well to issue an ultimatum - either give me my rights, or my girlfriend will.

 

[terraformer]

At the same time we should also point out that this isn't just a "women" thing, either. I would bet dollars to doughnuts there are female gun owners out there who have had to deal with hoplophobic men, too. I have no doubt there are women out there who have had to deal with "Captain milquetoast von hoplophobe" as their boyfriend/husband. These women probably suffer in silence, though, for a variety of reasons. We just don't see it as much because the number of female gun owners is lower.

-Mike

There is a lady who no longer frequents this board who has said exactly that. It happens. What is the old saw, opposites attract...

 

[davemata]

That's for sure.

I think because people are too dumb to like things easy.

 

[fencer]

At the end of the day, you don't have to get the wife to like them, just tolerate them. My wife doesn't really like guns but she appreciates that I do and why I do. She also respects that I feel it is as much a part of bringing our son up right as teaching him right from wrong, how to throw a ball, how to treat people right (especially women),and the value of hard work.

Hopefully, your wife married you because you share the same values and beliefs, not just because you can pay the bills. If that is the case, its a done deal. If not, you will have bigger problems. If she is uncomfortable with guns, that is cool, clean them in the garage if it makes her more comfortable. Gun ownership is your right and she shouldn't infringe upon it any more than you should infringe upon her rights. You don't like guns? Fine, I won't handle them around you.

The kid issue is cut and dry. Education is the only course that makes any sense at all. All of my kids know about guns and how to act around them and my son shoots with me all the time.

Get your permit, buy a decent safe with combination lock, buy a gun and join a club. She is not going to get really pissed until she find out how much you spend on your new hobby

 

[bonedigger4x4]

My wife was the same way also. Then the more she read the newspapers and saw the news on tv about the sick & bold crooks out there, she came around. She's also has gone to the firearms classes with me and has a better understanding of the process & reponsibilities of owning, storing & ccw now. She even goes to the range (copicut) with me and picks up my spent brass casings! She's even fired my handguns on occasions too. Though she isn't a "gun" person, she at least understands & respects it better now. So take your wife to the classes. You'll be glad you did. And who knows, maybe she will be too.

 

[BeerBaron]

Check out Fat Cat Sports in Bridgewater. It's a retail store and indoor range. He offers storage, so you can go there to shoot and store your guns, too. Not sure what it'll cost ya, but until your wife gets used to firearms, it might be a good start. Personally, I'd rather find a licensed friend close by and buy a safe/locker for his/her house and keep them there in a seperate safe, but Fat Cat Sports addresses your original post.

 

[Blitz1]

I hope it isn't 6969.

Dammit!! Thanks a lot.

 

[Blitz1]

Mike is right. Nip it in the bud asap.

 

[JC_0313]

I lucked out. My wife has no problem with guns, she grew up with them. She doesn't care about them either way. BUT she does care about the amount of time that I spend with them, at the range, in the basement cleaning, or sitting in front of the safe drooling. She also cares about the amount of money I spend on them and ammo.

 

[Pelikan]

Check out Fat Cat Sports in Bridgewater. It's a retail store and indoor range. He offers storage, so you can go there to shoot and store your guns, too. Not sure what it'll cost ya, but until your wife gets used to firearms, it might be a good start. Personally, I'd rather find a licensed friend close by and buy a safe/locker for his/her house and keep them there in a seperate safe, but Fat Cat Sports addresses your original post.

Not to hijack the thread, but when is FCS open? Every time I have driven by it has been closed. (No, I didn't always drive by at midnight or anything like that. )

 

[snakedoc]

Sorry guys, I'm not really down to where this thread has headed (just the last couple pages). I think the whole "fix her or move on" mentality is pretty lame. There are a million things that go into a relationship and this is one point where we disagree. I agree with those that posted about educating and discussing over time. But the notion that I would pick a gun over my wife is pretty ridiculous.

The reason for the initial question is because I'd like to shoot for recreation mainly--protection is a pretty distant second. Would I like one in the house? Sure. Do I feel it dire that I get one? No.

 

[Mark from MA]

Then you've answered your own question....if you can live without it, what's the big deal.

Most of the answers in this thread have been mild compared to most of the "My wife won't let me have a gun" threads.

I don't think anyone was telling you to pick a gun over your wife....I think the point was down the road if she doesn't let you do the little things that you want to do.....your gonna want to do them more, and resent her for the fact that she won't let you. That in itself leads to problems....doesn't even have to be gun related.

 

[snakedoc]

Ok, well one guy said it pretty directly, but I'll just ignore him.

There's been plenty of good advice on here and lots of sensible strong arguments (most of which I agree with). But when someone says basically "fix her or the relationship ends" is not setting himself up for successful relationships.

 

[davemata]

But when someone says basically "fix her or the relationship ends" is not setting himself up for successful relationships.

No, I think it is someone that knows himself pretty well, and knows what he will and will not stand for. Each relationship is different, and tolerances for compromise are different.

At the end of the day, it's you. Right now it's the ownership of a firearm (which is a hot button issue for many), what is it next time though? If you're reasonably sure this is the only time things will get sticky, then eff what anyone on "teh intarwebz" thinks, go check out lolcats, and do what you think is right.

 

[drgrant]

Sorry guys, I'm not really down to where this thread has headed (just the last couple pages). I think the whole "fix her or move on" mentality is pretty lame.

It's not lame, because it's the truth. If she's beating you up on this, what else is she going to force you into? "No guns in my house" and "I don't want my kids to see guns" is not a compromise, that's a waffen SS hoplophobe type of order.

You can ignore me all you want, but I've seen this too many times to know that eventually I'll be proven right. This is a base level respect issue, it has nothing to do with "choosing a gun or your wife". I guess what i should have said, is if you cannot get her to a place of -real- compromise, this relationship is going to turn into an indian trainwreck.

Tell her that you'll be fine with not owning a gun as long as she refrains from voting. See how that goes over. Or insert any other right in that spot. Or tell her she loses her right to free speech and she has to shut up when you tell her to. That's the equivalent of what she is doing to you here. That is how inherently wrong her demands are.

-Mike

 

[flintoid]

My brother had a wife that refused to compromise when it came to his interests.

He's now divorced.

Relationships are a mutual compromise. Not a indentured servitude.

Good luck.

 

[Len-2A Training]

Not to hijack the thread, but when is FCS open? Every time I have driven by it has been closed. (No, I didn't always drive by at midnight or anything like that. )

It's been probably 3-4 years since I stopped by and found it open. I'm rarely in that area, but 2 or 3 other times I stopped by during a workday, the place was closed. No idea if he keeps posted hours or not. I guess calling and asking directly would be smart, but I don't think I'd want to leave anything locked up there, I just don't get a warm and fuzzy feeling that I could get it out when I might want to do so.

Ok, well one guy said it pretty directly, but I'll just ignore him.

There's been plenty of good advice on here and lots of sensible strong arguments (most of which I agree with). But when someone says basically "fix her or the relationship ends" is not setting himself up for successful relationships.

I've stayed out of this up until now.

From my personal experience:

- My Wife was totally anti for many years. A chat with a Texan working the gun counter at Herman's Sporting Goods (back in the mid-1970s) somehow tripped her and she said "OK, if you want ONE!" [Some years later she would gently remind me that she said "ONE!" ]

- I joined a local club that was very active at that time. We had a couple of family parties/year and she always went. She liked the people, but still no interest in guns. I INSISTED that she get her LTC as an "emergency backup" and we were friends with our police chief so it was painless.

- 12 years ago I joined Braintree R&P and used to go on Sunday mornings (they serve breakfast, except in Summer), have breakfast, sit and read while I shot. She met lots of really nice folks. Still no interest.

- Second Amendment Sisters ran an all-day shooting orientation event and suddenly she announced that she wanted to attend. I stayed home not to poison the water, so to speak. She came home all excited, loved it, a reporter from Ch. 7 attended, did some shooting and reported about it (all positive) on the evening news.

- She decided to join Second Amendment Sisters (SAS) and attend their shoots (3rd Sat each month). After a short while she expressed interest in shooting with me instead of SAS and it's been like that ever since. One day she decided to join BR&P and has been a member ever since.

- I worked the GOAL table at gun shows for many years. Suddenly she decided to join me in working the table. On the way home she asked about joining GOAL, so I called Nancy Snow and bought her a GOAL Sustaining Membership.

- She decided to go with me to Four Seasons and buy a few guns of her own. I now use her .38Spl revolver to train people to take the Moon Island (Boston) range test. She was very surprised at the procedure we have to go thru to buy a gun. A lot different than what is portrayed on the daily snews (her only other exposure to this).

- She's firmly entrenched as a pro-2A person now. When I got one of those $300 NRA Life Membership offers for friends/relatives, she insisted that she wanted one, so she is now also an NRA Life Member.

The above process took over 30 years, but I never forced her to do anything (other than get the LTC). A very slow process to change a person's perception, but definitely worth it. She attends almost every NES event with me . . . and the only reason she doesn't attend the Shoots anymore is that the excessive noise bothers her ears (our audiologist tested her and she still has the hearing of an 18 yo, meanwhile I wear a hearing aid).

YMMV

 

[Emoto]

What I have said to the girlfriends I've had, regarding both motorcycling and firearms (which seem to be the contentious issues), is that "you don't have to like the same things that I do, but you must not stand in the way of me doing the things I like".

 

[davemata]

in the spirit of this thread, I told my fiancee to go make me a pie.

She told me to perform unholy acts on myself.

The world is correct today.

 

[Mark from MA]

Ok, well one guy said it pretty directly, but I'll just ignore him.

There's been plenty of good advice on here and lots of sensible strong arguments (most of which I agree with). But when someone says basically "fix her or the relationship ends" is not setting himself up for successful relationships.

Ignoring that isn't the answer, there are some fights that need to be fought, there are some that aren't. You just need to decide how much this means to you and where you draw the line.

If it doesn't mean that much to you then, compromise her way and be done with it.

But don't regret it later.....like when someone breaks in your house and your standing there holding your dxck......she should clearly understand that she's taking a tool for your family's protection away from you.

OTOH, it sounds to me like you are on the fence, and if you wouldn't use a gun in self defense anyway, your probably better off not having one.

 

[davemata]

OTOH, it sounds to me like you are on the fence, and if you wouldn't use a gun in self defense anyway, your probably better off not having one.

Regardless, it's his RIGHT to have one for any legal reason he has, regardless of what others think.

 

[Mark from MA]

in the spirit of this thread, I told my fiancee to go make me a pie.

She told me to perform unholy acts on myself.

The world is correct today.

I got my plow truck stuck half in the middle of the road this morning at 5 am, after I figured it would be a quick 15 minute driveway sweep before work, took me an hour to get out, only because some gracious plow guy stopped with chains to pull me out. Needless to say I came in steaming mad, yelled at the wife, kicked the dog and told the kids if they didn't shovel they might not live to see another day.....

There will be no baked goods for me tonight, and if there is, they'll be laced with cyanide......

Ah...I really didn't kick the dog.......

 

[davemata]

Ah...I really didn't kick the dog.......

Good, the dude can't abide by that.

 

[Mark from MA]

Regardless, it's his RIGHT to have one for any legal reason he has, regardless of what others think.

No argument there!

 

[Terminator03]

Wow, this thread sure has come full circle from storage recommendations to full on relationship advice!

Snakedoc, while you may interpret that some are suggesting you choose a gun over your wife, I don't feel this is the case at all. What it is, is that certain members here tend to be a bit more "direct" with their "suggestions". The bottom line is that Mike was trying to point out that compromises on the "little things" that may be important to you WILL eventually morph into bigger issues. Honestly, the only chance you have is to try to diplomatically convince her to attend a basic safety course like the one for the ltc. This should go a long way to demystify the whole gun thing, and if she is a person with a reasonably open mind, you may get her on board after awhile. It is the same process that I am personally going through right now myself. Choosing the gun over my wife was not an option, but I will not back down and walk away just because my wife doesn't understand something that I want to do. Marriage is always a compromise, but that means she needs to at least meet you halfway on things you find important, even if she doesn't understand them. I suspect that you may be trying to convince yourself that "you only want a gun offsite to target shoot with" by telling us that is your only reason for wanting a gun. Hopefully I'm off base here, but the only thing that matters is that you are honest with yourself about your intentions.

 

[Len-2A Training]

When we give others advice, we should keep in mind that not everyone is coming from the same place in their interests.

When I wanted to get a gun, my interests were strictly as a hobby, to learn to shoot bullseye targets. I had no fear of home invasions, living in a decent suburban town and although I was in Boston much of the time (both day and evening), having survived driving thru Roxbury during the period of racial unrest (after Martin Luther King was assassinated, folks were burning Roxbury down on a regular basis) while a student at NU, I was situationally aware but not worried about my safety. [Just reporting my thought process, not about to debate the sanity of that process. ]

Once I bought my target guns, I developed an interest in ccw and bought a gun for that purpose, practicing regularly. But this developed over time as well.

 

[snakedoc]

I think your first sentence sums it all up, Len. Thank you.

 

[JC_0313]

It maybe his right to to have one, but it's her right to live in a house without one.
They must find some sort of middle ground or secede in his/her desire.

 

[BeerBaron]

Not to hijack the thread, but when is FCS open? Every time I have driven by it has been closed. (No, I didn't always drive by at midnight or anything like that. )

odd hours. Wed - Sat 9:30am to 5:00pm, and Sun 9:30am to 2:00pm. It's owned and run by one guy, Butch, so thats why he has the limited hours. He's a great guy. Always has plenty of ammo in stock, too.

 

[Broc]

OP, is your wife OK with guns now?