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Go get a box of grid squares and some high-speed missile wax

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Thought I'd toss this one around for some of us to laugh at.

http://www.m-14forum.com/viewtopic.php?t=13540

Everyone remembers the new shower shoe/boot being told to go find the Gunny and ask him for a box of grid squares and some high-speed missile wax. I was explaining this to my son, he thought it hilarious. I explained there are a whole lot more. Anybody remember some more? This thread could be a complete glossary of the best lines ever used.
 
The worst that would happen with any newbie in our unit especially if theycame back to the barracks drunk,was a cq would tell them they were in the wrong unit and send them next door to the spec ops company that supposedly wasn't there.
 
Yeah, I did. The mechs had other ways of pulling pranks. I was clued in early on not to drink the coffee in main shop. We had raised floors, and the mechs would tell of the ghosts that ran around Field Station,had one of our E-5's in supply scared shitless,when the mechs came up through the raised floors. They never saw anyone clear the half door as fast as he did. Also good place to hide parts from the IG inspectors.
 
Depending on what day and which of the head shed they were pissed at also depended on what went into the coffee. Ex-lax was one,and a parts cleaner as another that I can remember, and god only knows what else. For whatever reason,I was always safe from their pranks. [lol]
 
Yeah, I did. The mechs had other ways of pulling pranks. I was clued in early on not to drink the coffee in main shop. We had raised floors, and the mechs would tell of the ghosts that ran around Field Station,had one of our E-5's in supply scared shitless,when the mechs came up through the raised floors. They never saw anyone clear the half door as fast as he did. Also good place to hide parts from the IG inspectors.

We had a story of one of our Duffys (98D Morse DF) who low crawled to the Hawgs section (98H, Morse Intercept) with a fire extinguisher. Sprayed the snot out of some guy and scared him crapless too.
 
Then there is this classic......show the privates this and have them try it


View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qnB5E6YIwxc

Are these clowns being led to believe that you can pull start a hummer as if you were starting a lawn mower?

Are these the brightest bulbs we have serving today?

They likely would never go along if not for the trust they have in their fellow soldiers.

Chem light batteries, exhaust samples, frequency grease, and muzzle blast have been sought after by well-intended, yet unaware, junior soldiers.
 
Are these clowns being led to believe that you can pull start a hummer as if you were starting a lawn mower?

Are these the brightest bulbs we have serving today?

They likely would never go along if not for the trust they have in their fellow soldiers.

Chem light batteries, exhaust samples, frequency grease, and muzzle blast have been sought after by well-intended, yet unaware, junior soldiers.

It's a joke. They were all in on it, with the possible exception of the dude doing the demo.
 
I can remember being freshly out of aircraft tech school
shipped to my first working base

they told me to go out on the runway and get a bucket of prop wash😳


I couldn’t wait til a newbie came, so I could pull the same prank.....😎

shit flows downhill...........
 
Are these clowns being led to believe that you can pull start a hummer as if you were starting a lawn mower?

Are these the brightest bulbs we have serving today?

They likely would never go along if not for the trust they have in their fellow soldiers.

Chem light batteries, exhaust samples, frequency grease, and muzzle blast have been sought after by well-intended, yet unaware, junior soldiers.

You've never been in the military, have you?

This is basically 98% of what we do if we've already grown tired of tossing rocks in a can from across a parking lot.

Actual training is about .03% of the time.

So 98% f***ery (25% of which coincides with chow time and another 25% with sleep time or firewatch), .5% hygeine (sometimes), 1% head calls (which includes at least .5% masurbating in the porta-shitters), and .47% motivational speaches from CO while entire battalion stands at parade rest in some ungodly weather condition (sleeting rain/snow/120 degree desert heat)...but if you're lucky enough, the guy next to you will pass out and you're excused from the 'motivation' while you drag him off to the back of the formation so doc can stick the silver bullet in his butt hole...and if you can snap a picture of your buddy getting the bullet, it's worth its weight in gold (so ALSO can be considered f***ery)

There ya have it folks...your tax dollars at work.
 
Sent a kid over to B Co to see a Section Sgt over there who was a buddy of mine. Told him to go get a bore brush for the 90 and a box of canopy lights for tonight’s night jump.

He came back about a half hour later covered in sweat empty handed (yes he got smoked over there), so we sent him back and told him don’t f***ing come back here empty handed again, you tell that MF you’re not leaving without the gear we need.

An hour later he came back again, more sweat, and a bullseye drawn on his forehead with a sharpie. lmao We all went thru it, all in good fun.
 
Sent a kid over to B Co to see a Section Sgt over there who was a buddy of mine. Told him to go get a bore brush for the 90 and a box of canopy lights for tonight’s night jump.

He came back about a half hour later covered in sweat empty handed (yes he got smoked over there), so we sent him back and told him don’t f***ing come back here empty handed again, you tell that MF you’re not leaving without the gear we need.

An hour later he came back again, more sweat, and a bullseye drawn on his forehead with a sharpie. lmao We all went thru it, all in good fun.
That story warms the cockles of my heart.
 
Cams already posted canopy light for the chutes on a night jump........If they asked me for them. I would ask them if was for a T-10s or MC1-1Bs chute, you know it makes a difference
Another common one was the Key to Area J (Local patch of woods behind the barracks on Bragg)
Left handed metric adjustable wrench
Bucket of Steam
Riser grease (to make pulling a slip in a parachute....steering change.....easier)

I would ask them first who sent you to me.....then get revenge on the person who sent them to me.
 
Sent a kid over to B Co to see a Section Sgt over there who was a buddy of mine. Told him to go get a bore brush for the 90 and a box of canopy lights for tonight’s night jump.

He came back about a half hour later covered in sweat empty handed (yes he got smoked over there), so we sent him back and told him don’t f***ing come back here empty handed again, you tell that MF you’re not leaving without the gear we need.

An hour later he came back again, more sweat, and a bullseye drawn on his forehead with a sharpie. lmao We all went thru it, all in good fun.
Team building activities like the above makes teams work together better and give the junior members a feeling of belonging.

Liberals seek to destroy this mild form of hazing.

They want to destroy the time honored tradition of blood pinnings where seniors push the medal into the chest of the junior member who got his wings.


Those are the same people who banned dodge ball and have the blue card when recruits are feeling blue.


Trump rebuilt the military and made it strong again so I would bet that recruits no longer wear heels for a day to feel like a woman anymore.


That's just stuff I heard as a civilian.
 
That story warms the cockles of my heart.

Ya he got smoked good. lol B Co was literally a 2 min run from his starting location so all that time was spent pushing, getting berated, then rolling over and doing flutter kicks in between.

PFC’s and below if sent alone or by 2’s on a task were required to run anywhere from point A to point B while inside the compound, no matter if they were in fluff and buff or starch and shine.

If there was more than two sent, then they were required to march so they could practice their D and C along the way. Anything else was unacceptable and they’d get smoked hard by anybody walking by for not showing a sense of urgency and LOM. There was some type of training involved in anything they did. It’s good for them and basically is non stop PT from the time they wake up til the time they go to bed.
 
This would be a great thread for any kid going in to follow. Having read this, I would pick up an old skeleton key somewhere, so when I was sent to get the key to area J, I would come back with something
 
We sent privates out to the motor pool with garbage bags to collect exhaust samples.

I hated that crap. I always looked out for my ignorant E1/O1s.

However, I did have an E6 collecting air samples with a zip lock bag and sliver them to our E8. I also got an O5 to tell the Wing Commander that a report was late due to an ID ten T issue in personnel. Realized what he said about thirty seconds later.

I went for large game in my hazing.
 
Team building activities like the above makes teams work together better and give the junior members a feeling of belonging.

...

Trump rebuilt the military and made it strong again so I would bet that recruits no longer wear heels for a day to feel like a woman anymore.


That's just stuff I heard as a civilian.

Yeah, Cadet Command is a different animal. It's sorta the Army, sorta the University. Some cadets are under contract and therefore obligated to serve, others are just college kids taking a class. There are many, many ways for ROTC professors to get into trouble; they've got more than one bureacracy to serve.

Recruits don't wear heels for a day to feel like a woman.

All my military hazing, and there was lots of it (I have red hair), had a purpose I understood.
 
Yeah, Cadet Command is a different animal. It's sorta the Army, sorta the University. Some cadets are under contract and therefore obligated to serve, others are just college kids taking a class. There are many, many ways for ROTC professors to get into trouble; they've got more than one bureacracy to serve.

Recruits don't wear heels for a day to feel like a woman.

All my military hazing, and there was lots of it (I have red hair), had a purpose I understood.
I met an old Marine who was in Korea(?).

He said the brutality of boot camp made him strong enough to survive being a POW.

He told me that he was beaten harder in boot camp than in POW camp.

Years later he thanked his DI.
 
LOL.

First time I, as a boot deckie watch stander, was asked to relieve the quarterdeck watchstander and 37 seconds later got a call to “pipe seaman stain to the mess.”

At first I was “yeah, sure” but then I realized this was acrually my ONE chance to get away with something like this ...

”Now, seaman stain, lay to the mess deck, seaman stain to the mess deck”

Of course, every hatch on the starboard side of the boat popped open so everyone could have a good laugh. Bwahahaha ...

R (USCGC Bibb, for the real olde phartes)
 
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