Getting a Divorce: Froglube related

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You know what makes a good story? Believable villains. I bet said MiL is from Cambridge, Wellsley, or that one place with all those hipsters. ;)
 

falcon123

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I just had the worst Easter of my entire life.
My family and I had my mother-in-law over for Easter.
She never did like me.
After our dinner she somehow ended up in our bedroom and started snooping around.
Keep in mind I do some gun cleaning up in our room sometimes before putting guns into the safe.
She found some shoulder holsters and a Colt Forged (not extruded) Rifle Receiver Tube among some other things under our bed.

She came down stairs in a huff and started to demand answered to our MARITAL PRACTICES.

She accused us of being into "H&M". I said that was a store in the mall.
She became irate and accused me of engaging in "LIVASHIOUS" acts with her daughter.
I told tried to explain that it was not what she was thinking.
All the while she was holding something behind her back.

Then came her outburst "Oh yeah!?! Then what is THIS?!?"

At that moment she presented what she was hiding behind her back.
She then proceeded to hit me in the face with a 1/2 empty tube of Premium Froglube CLP.

She called me a pervert and said I was corrupting her daughter.

She said "Don't think I don't know what you are doing with THIS and that other thing."
"Your going to hell pervert!" she said.
"I always knew you were a queer!" she said.

My wife ran up the stairs crying and saying she "Wants a Divorce."

The MiL said "You're damn right you are getting a divorce!"

I didn't even get a word in edgewise to explain that the Froglube is actually for cleaning a protecting my guns and has never been used for any sort of nefarious purpose.

I tried to assure her that you would not want to use a product with me mentholiptus internally.

I tried to explain that the Colt Forged (not extruded) Receiver Tube was a very expensive Colt OEM part for a future AR build.
I tried to explain the Mass Gun Laws and AWB as to why I could not have a collapsable stock on a post ban AR lower.

She called me a "Sicko"

"And I guess you tie my little girl up too, don't you?- With those leather straps."

I tried to explain the leather gear is part of my shoulder rig.

She said that the stuff under the bed was bad enough but what made it so much worse was the darn "FROGLUBE".

"I know they test that stuff on animals * too you queer!"

* She is a big PETA supporter.

The MiL went up stairs and my wife was hysterical.

Then the MiL came downstairs with some of my clothes and told me to leave my own house or she'll call the authorities.

She didn't believe a thing I said so I took my stuff and left.

Now I am over my friends house on the other side of town where he is letting me sleep tonight using his PC to log into NES.

Froglube is the best CLP product for guns but it may have ended my marriage.


Sorry to hear. Oh wait, what's the date today?
 

mass

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The best way to turn an anti-gun person around is to take them shooting, the same would work for other activities. Why don't you offer to lube up your MIL?
 

Reptile

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Bump.

-----
Crap... its late and I was just looking at the calendar.

I read something and thought it was April 1st.

I'll bump again in a couple weeks.
 
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Zappa

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Bump.

-----
Crap... its late and I was just looking at the calendar.

I read something and thought it was April 1st.

I'll bump again in a couple weeks.
I missed this one the first time around, four years ago [rofl]

If you're into "exotic" lubes, I still have a few cans of pre-ban ARCO Graphite 10W40 squirreled away in my shed. I may be persuadable into letting one go.
You can get it on fleabay too. $4.99 for a full can or $11.99 for an empty one. [laugh]
 

Reptile

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I missed this one the first time around, four years ago [rofl]

If you're into "exotic" lubes, I still have a few cans of pre-ban ARCO Graphite 10W40 squirreled away in my shed. I may be persuadable into letting one go.
You can get it on fleabay too. $4.99 for a full can or $11.99 for an empty one. [laugh]
I'm good on the lube.
Thanks.

In the past 3 years I only remember this thread after April 1st.
This time around due to my calendar confusion I mistakenly bumped it early.

It was originally Easter dinner but I thought the date changed according to the moon.
So, I changed it to St. Pats Day dinner.

Epic pre mature lubrication.
 

Reptile

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Looks like Froglube is pumping up the market to make a huge profit during Coronavirus.
 

Mountain

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Putting Frog Lube on a helpless firearm SHOULD be grounds for divorce!

Mrs. Mountain can take a hit from heavy tannerite shrapnel and not let it ruin her day. She will shoot a 460 Mag revolver and like it. But... Anything involving snakes and she'll scream. Even a rubber snake that shows up every April 1st like Elf on a Shelf at Christmas.
 

Reptile

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Putting Frog Lube on a helpless firearm SHOULD be grounds for divorce!

Mrs. Mountain can take a hit from heavy tannerite shrapnel and not let it ruin her day. She will shoot a 460 Mag revolver and like it. But... Anything involving snakes and she'll scream. Even a rubber snake that shows up every April 1st like Elf on a Shelf at Christmas.
What about @greencobra?
 

Mountain

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Still a big 'no' LOL. Just got yelled at as she was leaving for work. Left the snake on the rail for the front steps and she almost grabbed it on her way out. Here's some backstory why the rubber snake prank on April Fool's Day:

She used to be office manager for the corporate training department of a major company. One of their trainings involved a 'confront your fears' session with some dude that brought in a gigantic boa. Thing must have been getting ready to shed because it got pissy with the handler and bit him hard on the hand and wouldn't let go. Must have hit a vein or artery as my wife said blood was flying everywhere as she noped the F out of there.

Our place in TN was in a semi-rural area within a bend of a national scenic river. Plenty of wildlife including snakes in that area. I could never figure out why I saw so many pancaked snakes on our road- more than anywhere I had seen. Sometime after we moved here Mrs. Mountain confessed to going out of her way to run them over any time she saw one on the road.
 
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