Yes,C-pher,I do have your wifes E-mail address,but would never give it out. [lol]
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For the boys...
- Thread starter Lynne
- Start date
My sincere apologies if I offended. All in jest I assure you..
Now for some payback.
For the ladies.
Q: Why don't men do laundry?
A: Because the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!
Q: Why do men have a hole at the end of their penis?
A: So they can think open-mindedly.
Q: What's a man's idea of protected sex?
A: A padded headboard.
Q: What do you call a woman that works like a man?
A: A Lazy bitch.
Q: Why did God create men?
A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.
Q: How are men like parking spaces?
A: he good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped
Q: What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Gifted
Q: What's the difference between a man and a cow?
A: One brain cell that prevents them from shitting all over the place!
Q: How are men and beer bottles alike?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do woman fake orgasms?
A: Because men fake foreplay!
Q: Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes?
A: It had a penis AND a brain!
Q: How many men does it take to make popcorn?
A: Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: No one knows, it's never happened
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only 1 (Men are good at screwing things up!)
Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Government bonds mature.
Q: What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes
Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A: Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A: E.T. phoned home.
Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: "I can do better than this."
Q: How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
A: We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle.
Q: How do men exercise at the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
A; A hot dog and a six-pack.
Q; How are men like noodles?
A: They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Q; Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.
Now for some payback.
For the ladies.
Q: Why don't men do laundry?
A: Because the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!
Q: Why do men have a hole at the end of their penis?
A: So they can think open-mindedly.
Q: What's a man's idea of protected sex?
A: A padded headboard.
Q: What do you call a woman that works like a man?
A: A Lazy bitch.
Q: Why did God create men?
A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.
Q: How are men like parking spaces?
A: he good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped
Q: What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Gifted
Q: What's the difference between a man and a cow?
A: One brain cell that prevents them from shitting all over the place!
Q: How are men and beer bottles alike?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do woman fake orgasms?
A: Because men fake foreplay!
Q: Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes?
A: It had a penis AND a brain!
Q: How many men does it take to make popcorn?
A: Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: No one knows, it's never happened
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only 1 (Men are good at screwing things up!)
Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Government bonds mature.
Q: What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes
Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A: Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A: E.T. phoned home.
Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: "I can do better than this."
Q: How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
A: We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle.
Q: How do men exercise at the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
A; A hot dog and a six-pack.
Q; How are men like noodles?
A: They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Q; Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.
Why do you take TWO Baptists with you when you go fishing?
Because if you bring only one, he'll drink all your beer.
I really think that this goes over better in the South...but after FPrice's joke, I just had to say this one.
And you're going pretty far South to fine people that like RC cola.
Because if you bring only one, he'll drink all your beer.
I really think that this goes over better in the South...but after FPrice's joke, I just had to say this one.
And you're going pretty far South to fine people that like RC cola.
C-pher said:Hell, I never saw RC Cola north of Laplace, LA.
I would love to find it around here. The only thing that I can find is nasty, and my buddy swears by it. And that's Moxie.
I LOVE Moxie. Moxie is one of those childhood loves for me. Some of my best memories are spending my summers with my grandparents in Maine. I used to be able to get a bottle of Moxie when we went to the store, and it was such a treat!
Adam
dwarven1
Lonely Mountain Arms
I'm getting tired of reading you two whine... I thought you guys knew how to use the internet!!
http://www.hometownfavorites.com/moxie-soda.htm
Or for you, Nickel, you could call up the Vermont Country Store and ask them to carry Moxie... they always take customer suggestions.
Do I have to do everything around here? [twisted] [twisted] [twisted]
Seriously, enjoy your treat, guys. I just couldn't resist tweaking your noses a little.
Ross
http://www.hometownfavorites.com/moxie-soda.htm
Or for you, Nickel, you could call up the Vermont Country Store and ask them to carry Moxie... they always take customer suggestions.
Do I have to do everything around here? [twisted] [twisted] [twisted]
Seriously, enjoy your treat, guys. I just couldn't resist tweaking your noses a little.
Ross
dwarven1 said:
Moxie, me? I HATE the stuff, and it's EASY to find up here. If you're referring to the VT Country Store in Shelburne, I should tell you that I used to work across the street, at the Mobil. Since you already know where I used to live (next door to where your sister lives now), you can see that I had a very short commute.
dwarven1
Lonely Mountain Arms
Oh, alright... here: http://www.sodapopstop.com/products/detail.cfm?link=26
Happy now?
And as for your commute... I'm jealous. I have to go into Boston... I believe that the correct description is "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
Except for Yankee Stadium, of course.
Happy now?
And as for your commute... I'm jealous. I have to go into Boston... I believe that the correct description is "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
Except for Yankee Stadium, of course.
They sell Moxie at Stop and Shop. That's the only reason that I know that it's gross. My buddie is always buying bottles of the stuff and bringing it over when I have cookouts and the like.
It's like Ipecac to me. LOL!
But if I find RC, then I would buy a bunch as well.
It's like White Castles for me. When my buddy visits from Ohio, he always gets off the plane with a 30 sac on dry ice. That's a good friend.
It's like Ipecac to me. LOL!
But if I find RC, then I would buy a bunch as well.
It's like White Castles for me. When my buddy visits from Ohio, he always gets off the plane with a 30 sac on dry ice. That's a good friend.
dwarven1
Lonely Mountain Arms
OK, my mistake on which soda you guys were homesick for. Personally, I think that all soda tastes like malted battery acid, anyway.
As for White Castle... the nearest one that I know of is on Rt17 in northern NJ. I don't think that they have any restaurants in New England... and the frozen ones just aren't the same.
As for White Castle... the nearest one that I know of is on Rt17 in northern NJ. I don't think that they have any restaurants in New England... and the frozen ones just aren't the same.
dwarven1
Lonely Mountain Arms
Nope, according to www.whitecastle.com, there are no White Castles closer to here than NYC or northern NJ.
Hey, that could be a good career move... open a franchise up here in MA.
At least you'd get your fix... [lol]
Hey, that could be a good career move... open a franchise up here in MA.
At least you'd get your fix... [lol]
dwarven1 said:OK, my mistake on which soda you guys were homesick for. Personally, I think that all soda tastes like malted battery acid, anyway.
As for White Castle... the nearest one that I know of is on Rt17 in northern NJ. I don't think that they have any restaurants in New England... and the frozen ones just aren't the same.
Yea, when I put in my Address, the closest one they say is in New York.
And your right about the frozen ones from the Freezer section.
But I have to say, the ones right from the store, placed on Dry Ice fresh, then heated back up later isn't that bad.
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