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Florida: Man caught performing disgusting act on Florida homeowner's driveway

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by KVX, Jun 28, 2019.

  1. KVX

    KVX

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    Man caught performing disgusting act on Florida homeowner's driveway

    Stranger caught pooping in Florida driveway by Ring camera
    Surveillance camera catches unidentified man defecating in drive, owner wants apology.

    Police are looking for the man caught on camera defecating in a Florida homeowner's driveway, but the homeowner says all he wants is an apology.

    Wilton Thomas came home from work on Saturday to find that a man had driven up to his house in a green vehicle, squatted down in the driveway and pooped, using his T-shirt to clean himself.

    The entire incident was captured on Thomas' ring camera, but he said he couldn't clean up the mess, including the discarded shirt, until the following morning.


    Man caught performing disgusting act on Florida homeowner's driveway
     

  2. one-eyed Jack

    one-eyed Jack Manufacturer Dealer NES Member

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    No class. When I shit in driveways I take off my t shirt and shit in it. Then I wipe my ass with my socks. (size 12-14 Haynes). Jack.
     
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  3. M60

    M60 NES Member

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    To much information Jack. I mean really. Size 12-14.
     
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  4. one-eyed Jack

    one-eyed Jack Manufacturer Dealer NES Member

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    I find that the Dickies also work well. Jack.
     
  5. M60

    M60 NES Member

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    Oh, well, now it all makes sense.
     
  6. Pyromancer

    Pyromancer

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    Which NESER got the order wrong?
     
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  7. one-eyed Jack

    one-eyed Jack Manufacturer Dealer NES Member

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    You just have to be careful to use a pair with no holes in the heels so that you don't get the shit on your fingers. Jack.
     
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  8. C. Stockwell

    C. Stockwell NES Member

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    I actually mentioned this in my law school Criminal Procedure class as a hypo to better understand cops' arresting powers. If cops can only arrest on sight for felonies, what if someone runs up to them and says "yo, that guy took a dump on my lawn!" Does that generate enough probable cause for the cop to arrest the dumper on sight for say disorderly conduct, or does the cop have to investigate more, say by taking photos of said dump or sniffing around?

    I got an A in that class.
     
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  9. M60

    M60 NES Member

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    Ok. Now again. Too much information Jack.
     
  10. Coyote33

    Coyote33

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    Spray him with the hose like a stray dog that he is.
     
  11. ReluctantDecoy

    ReluctantDecoy

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    lol...dude takes his shirt off to get comfortable for the deed. Comfort comes before discretion.
     
  12. knoxy

    knoxy NES Member

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    Must be a noob. Everyone knows to shit on the roof.
     
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  13. Nhusa

    Nhusa

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    I thought he was going to try to shovel some snow.
     
  14. Penniepup1

    Penniepup1 NES Member

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    I believe that was a Seinfeld skit with George.
     
  15. Reptile

    Reptile NES Member

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    Does he work for Amazon?
     
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  16. StevieP

    StevieP NES Member

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    Gone to Carolina in my mind...
  17. looser38

    looser38 NES Member

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    You crazy f***er.
     
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  18. Asaltweapon

    Asaltweapon NES Member

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    I’ve had to dump on a snowmobile trail versus my shorts. Does that count? Yes I covered it up as I left and yes, TP in a ZipLoc was in my gear.
     
  19. drgrant

    drgrant Moderator NES Member

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    What about sinks? [rofl]

     
  20. M60

    M60 NES Member

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    Skysoldier of course. We're cutting him some slack though because he's all rattled over the babe on the second floor.
     
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  21. Reptile

    Reptile NES Member

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    I think I'm going to stow some TP in my pack.

    Even if you are "regular" - food poisoning could strike at any time leading to a mishap.

    It's been 15 years since I pooped outside.

    I always wondered what would happen if I messed myself while away from home.

    My Darn Tough socks would be squishy and not be as comfy after pooping inside them.
     
  22. white feather

    white feather NES Member

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    Why would you use the whole sock? Use your knife to cut off the top of the sock. You don't have to take your shoe off, your foot is still happily snuggled in the bottom of the sock, and when you slice the top up the side, you get a nice rectangular piece of cloth. You can then slice it in half to get TWO pieces. One for the heavy work and one for polishing...
     
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  23. ToddDubya

    ToddDubya NES Member

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    If you're in a "poop in someone's driveway" situation, there may be more heavy lifting that a single ring from a sock can handle.
     
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  24. Asaltweapon

    Asaltweapon NES Member

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    Polishing??? [rofl][rofl][rofl][rofl]
     
  25. one-eyed Jack

    one-eyed Jack Manufacturer Dealer NES Member

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    Guys. What's the matter with you? You use one sock to wipe and the other to polish. If you expect a heavy volume you can also carry a spare. Jack.
     
  26. M60

    M60 NES Member

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    Hey Jack, I forgot to ask. You have some spare sox, right? Please say yes.
     
  27. one-eyed Jack

    one-eyed Jack Manufacturer Dealer NES Member

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    What size? And do you want them with or without shit on them? The shit is extra. Jack.
     
  28. M60

    M60 NES Member

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    Lol. The sox are for you to replace the sox you left in the driveway, along with your t shirt. As for the with or without, whichever way you prefer.
     
  29. one-eyed Jack

    one-eyed Jack Manufacturer Dealer NES Member

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    I always pick up the shirt and sox and mail them to Liz. Jack.
     
  30. M60

    M60 NES Member

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    It never hurts to improve on a good idea Jack. How about splitting up that gift for liz and sending half to maura?
     

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