Don't Bring a Knife to a Coffee Fight

[pdm]

Didn't see this, unless someone posted it in another thread. A good display of being aware of your surroundings.

It’s not exactly easy for me to come up with a humorous way to segue into this post as is my normal routine for dealing with serious topics. So I guess I’ll just go with the old “damn the torpedos, full speed ahead approach”.

The short version of the story is that on Saturday leaving my office, I was the subject of an attempted mugging by a member of the Indianapolis Choir Boy School of Good Men Who are Only Down on Their Luck. As I was leaving my office, said altar boy came around the corner of my building to the left into the side parking lot, and as I turned to face him noticed the knife in his right hand. The Chaplain’s Assistant demanded that we engage in an abbreviated barter process, wherein I would provide my wallet and car keys in exchange for not getting shanktified, which to him probably seemed like a reasonable exchange.

Read it all.

 

[drgrant]

"Ambush?!?!? I just ambushed you with a cup of coffee!"

-Mike

 

[SMagee]

What a waste of an $8.00 cup of coffee.

 

[Larry Legend]

What a waste of an $8.00 cup of coffee.

Seriously. Could have just used few dollars worth of JHP and had a similar effect.

 

[icyclefar]

Seriously. Could have just used few dollars worth of JHP and had a similar effect.

He was only carrying a .25cal, I think he made the right move by going with the coffee first.

 

[lupis42]

Try our new "Assault Coffee"!

 

[kaetaur]

What a waste of an $8.00 cup of coffee.

Keep the coffee and take the stabbing? i don't think so. Now to make a fully auto coffee launcher.

 

[Uncle Fester]

"Ambush?!?!? I just ambushed you with a cup of coffee!"

-Mike

"What color is the boat house at herereford?"

 

[FPrice]

Action > reaction > passivity. My wife asked me later “why did you throw your coffee at him?” My only reply, and which remains my reply is “seemed like the thing to do at the time” – but from a 10,000 foot view, tossing my coffee had major impact on the encounter which was to switch the initiative from my would be attacker to me. By throwing my coffee, I was forcing him to react to my actions instead the other way around, which gave me the opportunity to retrieve a better weapon than a cup of coffee.

Very good thinking and action(s) on his part.

 

[FPrice]

"What color is the boat house at herereford?"

"How should I know."
(PG version)

 

[Garys]

Very good thinking and action(s) on his part.

If the coffee was as hot as the Starbucks crap I've been forced to drink, it was a very effective distraction. If the guy actually got any in his mouth and tasted it, he probably can sue for cruel and unusual punishment.

 

[wolf223]

I politely demurred by hurling a cup of hot Starbucks at him while fishing my Beretta Jetfire out of the stupid pocket holster it was riding in. After taking a face full of Columbia’s most popular legal export and confronted with a counter offer of bullets to his previous barter exchange concept, the young gentlemen decided that discretion was the better part of valor and made all due haste in a westerly direction. For my part, I locked myself in my office, called 911 and waited for the cops to arrive to take my report.

i probably would have followed up with a kick to the nut region and shot or two at his trachea....

 

[Brian48]

I hope the punk really appreciates (and still tasting) the smoothness of good Colombian coffee.

 

[drgrant]

If the coffee was as hot as the Starbucks crap I've been forced to drink, it was a very effective distraction. If the guy actually got any in his mouth and tasted it, he probably can sue for cruel and unusual punishment.

Nothing was as hot as the old McDonalds coffee.... Stella Liebeck ruined that for everyone.

-Mike

 

[deadhead133]

I trust the 9mm left on the desk was affixed with a proper lock. MA you know. God I hate this state.

 

[drgrant]

I trust the 9mm left on the desk was affixed with a proper lock. MA you know. God I hate this state.

It didn't happen in MA, making that irrelevant.

-Mike

 

[mikem317]

You know the antis can't wait to ban Venti-sized Starbucks coffees. They're high capacity! Arghhhhhh!

 

[deadhead133]

It didn't happen in MA, making that irrelevant.

-Mike

9mm left at home on desk. Listed as living in MA.

 

[mikem317]

Actually, I think it was a good move on behalf of the author. Hot coffee can be definitely used as a weapon. When he threw it, it made the aggressor react and bought him time to get to his pistol.

I don't think the article mentioned it, but the coffee was also likely held in his dominant hand which is probably the same side where his pistol was holstered.

 

[dsm]

9mm left at home on desk. Listed as living in MA.

Listed as living in MA? Who, the original poster?

Fine, except he's not the author of the story, who I believe is in Atlanta, Georgia.

Edit: Actually, it mentions Indianapolis right in the story. Guess that's where it took place.

 

[appraiser]

another classic example of improvising to gain the upper hand.

Use whatever is in reach to your advantage

 

[steveyc272]

Nothing was as hot as the old McDonalds coffee.... Stella Liebeck ruined that for everyone.

-Mike

"Suing a company because there coffee is too hot? Coffee is supposed to be hot."

 

[Garys]

Nothing was as hot as the old McDonalds coffee.... Stella Liebeck ruined that for everyone.

-Mike

It also tasted like paint. Stella did us a favor.

 

[lupis42]

It also tasted like paint. Stella did us a favor.

No, before it was hot enough to instantly sear off the tastebuds, thus saving you from knowing how it tasted. Now you have to actually experience the taste.

 

[Nicole]

I don't think the article mentioned it, but the coffee was also likely held in his dominant hand which is probably the same side where his pistol was holstered.

I read his blog and he actually discussed this, bringing up an interesting aspect of cross-dominance. The author is left-handed, but right-eye dominant and thus shoots with his right hand and carries on the right. He pitched the coffee with his strong left hand while going for the gun with his right.

I don't know how much practical advantage (if any) would actually result, but it's amusing to contemplate the upside of cross-dominance all the same.

 

[center442]

Finally, a good use for Starbuck's coffee.

 

[JasonG]

Action > reaction > passivity. My wife asked me later “why did you throw your coffee at him?” My only reply, and which remains my reply is “seemed like the thing to do at the time” – but from a 10,000 foot view, tossing my coffee had major impact on the encounter which was to switch the initiative from my would be attacker to me. By throwing my coffee, I was forcing him to react to my actions instead the other way around, which gave me the opportunity to retrieve a better weapon than a cup of coffee.

A friend of mine was mugged while standing on a main street next to the "nice" area of New Haven outside a Duncan Donuts at about 7:30am. The creep acted like he knew her and wanted a hug, when she pushed him away he grabbed per purse. She doused him with her fresh coffee and he fled.

She kicked off her high heels and bolted after him, yelling. Fortunately for her, this happened adjacent to a Marine recruiting center. He was apprehended quickly, though seemed to have collected a number of bumps along the way.

Since getting my carry permit, she asks again and again if I'd carry when we go out for coffee. Workplace is strictly anti... so I don't.

Anyway- General consensus was the coffee flinging was a good move and contributed to his capture and ~2 years in jail.

She's also come around quite a bit on the whole concept of carrying for self defense.

 

[Blitz1]

This Story

 

[Fixxah]

It is so refreshing to read real stories with happy endings once in a while, thanks.

 

[JustEric]

What a waste of an $8.00 cup of coffee.

No...that "coffee" was originally poised to be a waste of $8.00 and a perfectly good cup. He did the only sensible thing one can do with a cup of Starbucks and made the most of his $8.00.