Doctor Shoots Husband on Cape Cod

A couple of points:

- When someone says "I don't understand why she didn't just run away?" . . . someone who works in a menial job (Wal-Mart, DD, MacDs, etc.) can just disappear and pop-up 1000 miles away! Someone who is a licensed MD can be easily found by searching online Licensing records, AMA, etc.

- Thus, she could run, but she couldn't hide from a vindictive spouse/ex-spouse. He could find her, shoot up her place of work, kidnap and kill her, etc.

An excellent post Len, and excellent points. This sort of thing has happened before where a deranged ex spouse has tracked a person down and killed them at work. As an MD, she can easily be tracked.

Gary
 
sks: maybe she didn't want to run and hide, why should she? She should have the right to be able to live without fear and without hiding. If he was the type that would track her down there really was no where for her to run, she could probably move out then have him break in and the same thing could have happened there. Honestly if he was abusing her I think he deserved what he got, actually he got off too easy [thinking]
 
An excellent post Len, and excellent points. This sort of thing has happened before where a deranged ex spouse has tracked a person down and killed them at work. As an MD, she can easily be tracked.

Gary

Well, if that was her thought process and that promted her to stay then she will be in jail for a long time.

"Oh, I couldn't leave because he would have tracked me down and killed me so i stayed until I couldn't take it anymore and i shot him."

Great defense.
 
Well, if that was her thought process and that promted her to stay then she will be in jail for a long time.

"Oh, I couldn't leave because he would have tracked me down and killed me so i stayed until I couldn't take it anymore and i shot him."

Great defense.

I doubt that will be the defense. I'd think that the defense will be more along the lines of portraying him as what he was. Then again, you obviously know more about everything than the rest of us, so maybe you should head up her defense time.

Gary
 
sks: maybe she didn't want to run and hide, why should she? She should have the right to be able to live without fear and without hiding. If he was the type that would track her down there really was no where for her to run, she could probably move out then have him break in and the same thing could have happened there. Honestly if he was abusing her I think he deserved what he got, actually he got off too easy [thinking]

She shouldn't have to live in fear. Nobody should and she shouldn't have to hide either...

But we don't know if he was that abusive if he was abusive at all. If he was, then he did get what he deserved. But my arguement is that we don't know any of this because we don't know if she's ever reported this or not. Without a paper trail it's going to be difficult to prove this guy was so bad that he needed to be killed.

There were steps she could have taken that would have documented his abusive history (if in fact there was any) and that would have helped her rid herself of him long ago.

We can sit here an speculate that this guy might have tracked her down and perhaps he would have killed her. I can also sit here and speculate that she made a lot of money as a doctor and that fishing boats cost a lot to run and that was putting a financial strain on the family finances as the fishing industry sucks right now and 25 year old jr. won't get off his mother's apron strings long enough to find a job and she was at her wits end and killed hubby because he wouldn't get rid of the boat.


Every time I've taken my kid to the hospital the doctors ask my wife if there is any abuse in the home. She is a doctor. Why did she think they are supposed to ask that question? Did she think it didn't pertain to her?

I'm interested to hear the details of this case. But I don't think she was in that "burning bed" situation.
 
I doubt that will be the defense. I'd think that the defense will be more along the lines of portraying him as what he was. Then again, you obviously know more about everything than the rest of us, so maybe you should head up her defense time.

Gary

Hey...I'm just voicing my opinion out here like everyone else.

Maybe he was everything the papers are saying. But it's a little sad to see how quickly people jump to this woman's side without hearing all the facts.

If a guy claimed the same thing and shot his wife not one person out here would believe it. Truthfully I wouldn't believe it either.....but isn't that sad.
 
I just heard on the radio that the son got in to the fight with dad because of the bruises on mom.

Now...sks hun - I do agree that at 25 a male should be able to put his pants on by himself. But that's not what I meant. Len said it. It doesn't matter how old you are - you mother is still your mother and she's going to look at you as her baby. The memory doesn't fade on the 2AM feedings, changing diapers or hugs and kisses when you fall down and hurt yourself while learning to walk or even a little older.

I'm 49 years old. My brother is 10 years older than I am and my mother STILL treats us like we haven't hit the teen years yet at times. She'll be that way until the day she dies.

And Ann? You didn't do so bad yourself. [wink]
 
I just heard on the radio that the son got in to the fight with dad because of the bruises on mom.

Now...sks hun - I do agree that at 25 a male should be able to put his pants on by himself. But that's not what I meant. Len said it. It doesn't matter how old you are - you mother is still your mother and she's going to look at you as her baby. The memory doesn't fade on the 2AM feedings, changing diapers or hugs and kisses when you fall down and hurt yourself while learning to walk or even a little older.

I'm 49 years old. My brother is 10 years older than I am and my mother STILL treats us like we haven't hit the teen years yet at times. She'll be that way until the day she dies.

And Ann? You didn't do so bad yourself. [wink]


You know.....this is getting more interesting by the post.....

The hubby already finished the physical act of abusing wifey.....son comes in and starts a fight with the father.....wife shoots hubby.

So instead of the son starting the fight (can't say I blame him if this is what happened) he could have got his mother into the car and drove to the police station....

I know...we never think like that in the panic situation but we have the luxury to think this through mor rationally than actually being there.
 
:::shaking head::: I love the armchair psychiatrists around here.

You men who think you understand one damned thing about being a woman, or being a woman with an abusive husband, haven't got a clue. And with your attitudes you never will. So it's up to the woman to leave her home, her children, her life to get away from the man she thought would be her partner, her lover, the decent father to her children.....she's weak and wimpy and it's all her fault, she shouldn't take the insults, the belittling, the beatings.....what a bunch of unfeeling, unknowing, total bullshit. Of course she shouldn't. But she sees no way out. No matter what her economic status, means, position, etc. Womens lib has nothing to do with it because that has nothing to do with interpersonal relationships between men and women. But your macho brains will never ever understand it, nor do you want to. It's all the woman's fault. I can't stand it.

I'm too pissed off at this point to continue.[angry]
 
You know.....this is getting more interesting by the post.....

The hubby already finished the physical act of abusing wifey.....son comes in and starts a fight with the father.....wife shoots hubby.

So instead of the son starting the fight (can't say I blame him if this is what happened) he could have got his mother into the car and drove to the police station....

I know...we never think like that in the panic situation but we have the luxury to think this through mor rationally than actually being there.

sks...have you ever had to deal with someone who goes off the deep end? You're lucky if you have the time to take a breath between the verbal attack and the physical one. WE don't know the son started the fight. What we do know is that the husband went after the son. We don't know what the son said or did - and chances are when your dealing with someone who's abusive it doesn't take ANYTHING to set them off. Don't you understand this? Evidently not. <sigh> It's times like this that I wished I had video of how my "X" acted. He'd put Jekyl and Hide to shame in his shifts of calm to anger. I've said it before and I'll say it again...until you've walked in those moccasins, you don't know and can't understand.

As far as I'm concerned...and to steal from drgrant...these fries are done.
 
what's the difference if the guy beating the ever loving $hit out of you is your husband, boyfriend, son or a complete stranger. Any potential threat and I'm gone.

Yes, if there is danger in my house I will leave. I don't care if that danger is a leaking gas pipe or my wife with a knife......I'm out of there......

We've now learned that she wasn't staying there to protect anyone because they were alone. The beating had stopped and as the son discovered the bruises when he came home he started the fight with the father. She had ample time to leave prior to this and if so the son wouldn't have seen the bruises which resulted in him starting the fight whihc ended up in the husbands death being shot by the wife. She should have left....yes..get up and walk out the door. Go to a neighbor or go to the police or go shopping but get out of the house.

Why should she stay? If the house is on fire she should stay? GET OUT!!!!! I can't see a reason to stay if you're getting a beating and you're not staying to protect anyone.

I'm sure she is not a work from home doctor so she gets out everyday. He was obviously not physically holding her captive as she had a career and went to work everyday.

We're just a discussion forum and one can see the varying opinions here. Just wait until this gets to a jury.
 
Why should she stay? If the house is on fire she should stay? GET OUT!!!!! I can't see a reason to stay if you're getting a beating and you're not staying to protect anyone.

Evidently my fries aren't done quite yet. One last time... It's called FEAR, and until YOU live through that, you will never understand.
 
sksguns, I suggest that you read up on battered woman syndrome. I don't know if it applies in this case.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battered_woman_defence

None of us really know what happened in this incident. Nor do we know what happened before it. Articles in the press are almost universally wrong. So I suggest that you reconsider declaring her guilt or innocence.
 
We've now learned that she wasn't staying there to protect anyone because they were alone. The beating had stopped and as the son discovered the bruises when he came home he started the fight with the father. She had ample time to leave prior to this and if so the son wouldn't have seen the bruises which resulted in him starting the fight whihc ended up in the husbands death being shot by the wife.
And perhaps she would have KEPT staying... until the husband started on the son. That may well have been the proverbial straw. She may well have thought "Well, I deserve it but my son doesn't". Strange, but some people DO think that way.

People stay in abusive relationships for a lot of reasons that look strange from the outside. She may have been afraid that being on her own was worse than being with an abusive husband. She may have still loved him... even though he used her as a punching bag. He may have ended every abuse session with a promise to change and she gave him that chance. I don't know and you don't either. I'm offering possibilities.

Why do you automatically assume that she's a cold-blooded killer?
 
Well, it sounds pretty horrific that someone is so afraid that they can't leave to escape a beating but on the other hand not so afraid that they can actually take a life and shoot a human being to death.

I've heard the stories that cause this fear and I have no issue accepting that as fact. The only thing is that in most of those cases the man had a close eye on all the woman's activities and even restricted most.

This guy was a fishing guy and was probably away from home overnight at times. She was a doctor with a practice and otherwiase normal life.

Just doesn't seem to fit the well advertised profile of the classic "burning bed" syndrome.

I guess I'll have to wait for the move....

Oh, and please do not take my reluctance to believe in this woman's claim as an indicator that I do not believe those of you who have been through this. I do believe you and I respect your courage and am very happy you have gotten out and have been able to move on in your life.
 
Well, it sounds pretty horrific that someone is so afraid that they can't leave to escape a beating but on the other hand not so afraid that they can actually take a life and shoot a human being to death.
What do you mean, 'not so afraid that they can actually take a life...' What logic are you using here? It's a crisis situation. It's way past fear. I hope you are never there - or if you ever are you have the presence of mind you expect everyone else to have and can 'reason' your way out of the situation. Let us know about it when it happens. [rolleyes]
 
She may have been afraid that being on her own was worse than being with an abusive husband.

Well, if she's convicted she'll have plenty of company for a while.

Why do you automatically assume that she's a cold-blooded killer?

Why is it assumed that she's innocent? Because she's a woman? Because she has an LTC?

I'm of the mind that it needs to be a pretty horrific event to warrant taking a human life. In my mind there are very few things I would kill for. And when two grown men are fighting you don't have the right to shoot one of them. Even if he's winning.

If you're afraid for your life that's fine. If you're afraid for your son's life that's fine too....

He never killed anyone before and had been abusing this women for so many years so why now is she all of a sudden afraid for her and her son's life? Why today? What changed?

I'll tell you what changed....she woke up and got sick of it and put it in her mind that the next time would be the last.

That's wrong. You can't kill him for it. He might be a huge POS but it doesn't warrant a bullet.
 
I do believe you and I respect your courage and am very happy you have gotten out and have been able to move on in your life.

I can't let this one go by with out answering it. sks...I didn't get out. I was tied to that house by fear. I didn't HAVE courage. HE was the one who finally left, and if he hadn't, G_d only knows where I'd be now.

Have I moved on? Yes. Have I gotten a better life now? Yes. Why? Because I got my life and freedom back when I became a gun owner.

I'm done...you'll never understand and I'm not going to bother trying to explain it anymore. You have your mind made up and are standing in judgement of her. Becareful of that dear. It sometimes has the tendency to come back and bite one in the a$$.
 
Hey...I'm just voicing my opinion out here like everyone else...



...If a guy claimed the same thing and shot his wife not one person out here would believe it. Truthfully I wouldn't believe it either.....but isn't that sad.

Fact
The National Institute of Justice and the Center for Disease Control estimates that 1.5 million women and 835,000 men are the victims of domestic violence each year.

Women do not have a lock on being the victim of DV.
 
What do you mean, 'not so afraid that they can actually take a life...' What logic are you using here? It's a crisis situation. It's way past fear. I hope you are never there - or if you ever are you have the presence of mind you expect everyone else to have and can 'reason' your way out of the situation. Let us know about it when it happens. [rolleyes]

I guess the logic I'm using is that I don't believe this was a "crisis" situation. Was it an abusive situation? Maybe.....

Even so, he never attempted to kill her before so why was deadly force needed against him today?
 
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Why is it assumed that she's innocent? Because she's a woman? Because she has an LTC?
Because this is frickin' AMERICA! Where you are PRESUMED INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY!!!

I'm of the mind that it needs to be a pretty horrific event to warrant taking a human life. In my mind there are very few things I would kill for. And when two grown men are fighting you don't have the right to shoot one of them. Even if he's winning.
How about if he's beating you to a pulp (YOUR words)? Are you telling me that you're not in fear of your life KNOWING you're getting beaten badly? how can you be sure that THIS isn't the time he's going to finish the job and kill you?

He never killed anyone before and had been abusing this women for so many years so why now is she all of a sudden afraid for her and her son's life? Why today? What changed?

I'll tell you what changed....she woke up and got sick of it and put it in her mind that the next time would be the last.

That's wrong. You can't kill him for it. He might be a huge POS but it doesn't warrant a bullet.
You've made up your mind already, I see. I'm not going to try and argue any more; I've got work to do.
 
Because this is frickin' AMERICA! Where you are PRESUMED INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY!!!

You have me on that one...lmao!!! But she did shoot him. She admitted that. All that's left are the circumstances behind the shooting to determine if it was murder, self defense or anything in between....
 
I guess the logic I'm using is that I don't believe this was a "crisis" situation. Was it an abusive situation? Maybe..
sks, abusive relationships are not about logic. Until and unless you can understand that, you won't understand a thing about abuse.
 
I understand about abuse and abusive relationships.

But I won't be blinded by the mask of abuse. For all we know it could have been a mutually abusive relationship. Or some friend of hers could have put the idea in her head that she could legally shoot him and get away with it by claiming she was abused.

I'm not saying she wasn't abused. She may very well have been. But it's kind of extreme to shoot someone even if they are abusing you. I'm not sure her life was threatened (by reading and hearing what has been printed and stated).

Those bruises are a nice touch and and I'd put money on him hitting her and bruising her face.....but I didn't see any blood.

I'll yield the fact that she was probably abused but i don't think her life or her son's life was in danger and so far I can't see justification for the use of deadly force.

Now that's not to say she wasn't in fear of her life when she shot her husband in the side. I'm sure that pissed him off plenty. Maybe at that point her life was in danger making her believe the second round was justified.

I just can't see her not being arrested for the shooting as some out here have claimed should have been the case simply beacuse the woman said she was abused.
 
I understand about abuse and abusive relationships.
Based on the statements you've made on this forum, no, you do not understand anything about abuse and abusive relationships.
Those bruises are a nice touch and and I'd put money on him hitting her and bruising her face.....but I didn't see any blood.
Goodness gracious. What in the world would make you say a thing like that?

I don't know whether the shooting was justified or not. I'm hoping she'll get a fair hearing in court.
 
SKS, how old are you? Seriously? You sound like a young kid who hasn't had any experience in life whatsoever. "Those bruises are a nice touch" What a disgusting thing to say. I feel for those close to you in life. Your insensitivity can't just show here on this forum.
 
sks...have you ever had to deal with someone who goes off the deep end? You're lucky if you have the time to take a breath between the verbal attack and the physical one. WE don't know the son started the fight. What we do know is that the husband went after the son. We don't know what the son said or did - and chances are when your dealing with someone who's abusive it doesn't take ANYTHING to set them off. Don't you understand this? Evidently not. <sigh> It's times like this that I wished I had video of how my "X" acted. He'd put Jekyl and Hide to shame in his shifts of calm to anger. I've said it before and I'll say it again...until you've walked in those moccasins, you don't know and can't understand.

As far as I'm concerned...and to steal from drgrant...these fries are done.

I'm not the one that invented that, but you can use it however you
want. [laugh]

All kidding aside I agree with you wholeheartedly, Lynne... I have a close
friend of mine who has also been a victim of this kind of thing, and the
circumstances/outcomes are not simplistic or pretty. If this lady truly
was abused, then this is basically the end of a long road for her... and it
is an issue which, can often only be resolved by doing what she did. There
are cases of abuse out there where flinging a 209A at someone isn't going
to do much except result in the wrong person getting killed or hurt
more. Relationship trouble/abuse is its own kind of complicated
hell that is rarely understood by outsiders... and that goes for men
being the victims as well as women. (although with men as the victims
from what ive seen its more mental/verbal than it is physical, although I
think there are a lot of men that get beat up, but they're too ashamed to admit it to anyone. )


-Mike
 
How's this for "logic"? Anyone who is cowardly enough to beat their wife or kids obviously should have got his ass BEAT bad a long time ago.... period. In lieu of that, if indeed he did what was claimed by the doctor, I'd let her walk.... now please just don't get into the licensing issue with the local chief after she gets off. [rolleyes]
 
sks, abusive relationships are not about logic. Until and unless you can understand that, you won't understand a thing about abuse.

+1... and on top of it, even when you do apply logic, often times all the
possible outcomes or choices are all bad. There is no "easy button" for
a lot of these issues.... especially when kids are involved!

-Mike
 
Based on the statements you've made on this forum, no, you do not understand anything about abuse and abusive relationships.?
or.....maybe I do and that's why I am making the statements I'm making.




Goodness gracious. What in the world would make you say a thing like that?

If this was an abusive relationship as she claims and all the rest out here in NES believe then I'm sure the guy slapped her around from time to time.

Now that won't win him any "Husband of the Year" awards but it also doesn't mean he was trying to kill her. If he split her lip even or brike her nose or blackened her eyes and (not that we will see but they might describe it for us in the news) she had bruising and injuries over other parts of her body then maybe you can say he was trying to kill her.

But lets think about the events.

Husband beats $hit ouyt of wife.

Son comes home and sees bruises on mom. (They didn't say the son witnessed dad beating mom)

Son goes after dad because he assumed dad beat the $hit out of mom again....

Dad defends himself against son.

Mom attacks dad for getting the better of the son

Hubby turns to defend himself from wife

Wife shoots hubby.

Who was defending oneself????

Don't call me crazy because you know this can be true. From all accounts the original attack on mom was over. Dad became the defender.
 
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