A good way to get a .44 soft load is to get a cowboy loading book Just load up those loads, they are going to be pretty soft.
Pick up some of the Trail Boss Powder. You can get really good soft loads out of that and they will have easy loads for you on thier web site.
Not sure where you are, but Northeast Traders in North Attleboro does quite a bit of realoading. Ted makes up some .44 cowboy loads that aren't bad at all. And he will also tell you what he uses to load up his if you ask him.