Divorce

Did you lose your MA LTC permanently because of the jail time your liar ex wife stuck you with? I did a few days in a California jail back in the 1980s on a false arrest for carrying a perfectly legal knife. The judge dropped the charges but I still had to list the arrest and court appearance on my MA LTC application regardless, especially because it was a felony weapons charge under California law.
No, I won the case as there was no case
 
went through this, and had the dick head from village vault come and tell me current value for him buying the lot. his number was laughable, but he provided documentation so i could list them on my financial statement. good luck
 
Not trying to be a dick but I think there’s only one person on the planet that can break up an irrevocable trust… and it’s a Family Court judge. From what I’ve heard there would have to be a really really good reason for him to do so like serious financial abuse but the judge could do it.

Now let’s say one of your sons is getting a divorce and there’s 250k in that trust. His ex wife will not be able to get it but he will have to list it as an asset and bring that number into his financial equation. And then they work out the numbers from there for their agreement.
And as "terrible" as it sounds, I believe this is the correct way.

Hear me out: when people are married, they are a team. A team that gets along (for a while anyways). That team makes a decision together, including financial decisions.
Anyone that has a chunk of money in their future A) usually knows about it
B) usually plans around it

"Honey, you don't need to put 15% of your earnings into your 401k only put the minimum of 6% to get your company match, because mom and dads inheritance will be enough for OUR retirement".

It's very ignorant when people say "my ex took half of MY 401k/retirement.
 
You know, that is some damned good advice. Leave a few inexpensive, easily-replaceable guns "on the table", sort of speak, for her lawyer to grab or the police to confiscate via 209A Restraining Order. Rent a storage locker out of state for a while and keep the good guns there, along with the rest of your personal effects. Not sure of the military pension. If you finished your service before you married her, she may not be entitled to any of it. If you are still in the reserves or Guard, check with JAG. They will probably know more about such matters than a civilian attorney with no military experience. Thank you for your service and best of luck with this. It will pass and you will be better off in the long run.

Consequences of lying on an affidavit are worse than losing the value of a couple guns. Man up and be honest, you knew the rules when you said "I do".

Find that part impossible to believe.

Never let truth get in the way of a good story.
 
How does debt that's in one person's name get handled? Credit card debt, student loan debt taken on prior to marriage, etc.
 
Not trying to be a dick but I think there’s only one person on the planet that can break up an irrevocable trust… and it’s a Family Court judge. From what I’ve heard there would have to be a really really good reason for him to do so like serious financial abuse but the judge could do it.

Now let’s say one of your sons is getting a divorce and there’s 250k in that trust. His ex wife will not be able to get it but he will have to list it as an asset and bring that number into his financial equation. And then they work out the numbers from there for their agreement.
Older son is in Minnesota, working as an office clerk for a collection law firm. The other is still in Illinois, doing HVAC work. The trust was inked in Florida by a Florida attorney, since we own a townhouse there. MA courts would not have jurisdiction.
 
How does debt that's in one person's name get handled? Credit card debt, student loan debt taken on prior to marriage, etc.
Assets and debts are divided. I’m sure debts will get split whether before or after marriage date. I’m in a unique situation where neither of us really don’t have any debt. But I would also assume if your divorce is amicable enough you could come up to an agreement of who pays what
 
How does debt that's in one person's name get handled? Credit card debt, student loan debt taken on prior to marriage, etc.
I think this is a case by case situation. A coworker went thru a nasty divorce and his wife ran up like 20k in credit card debt but it was after the date where she said "its over, Im filing for divorce" but it was pre going to court. The judge said that it was 100% her debt and wouldn't be included. Funny thing was that she had just gotten a 10k breast job right before the split. My coworker was unable to claim that as one of their "assets".
 
I think this is a case by case situation. A coworker went thru a nasty divorce and his wife ran up like 20k in credit card debt but it was after the date where she said "its over, Im filing for divorce" but it was pre going to court. The judge said that it was 100% her debt and wouldn't be included. Funny thing was that she had just gotten a 10k breast job right before the split. My coworker was unable to claim that as one of their "assets".

[pics]
 
Don't let assets get in the way of a speedy resolution.
Saw a couple fight for 10 years over every item including the house, collectable cars, jewelry and firearms. All the money went to lawyers. Both were broke by the end.
If she thinks they are worth a lot of money give them to her or sell them to a dealer of her choice and give her half.

Unless they are family heirlooms or have sentimental value it's easier to buy more later than run up fees with lawyers fighting over assets.
 
Any assets that you had prior to the marriage and can prove it are not subject to split. Same with any inherited assets. For example, I own the house that I grew up in and it is my name only. Wife can't touch it as it is an inherited asset.

Honestly you should have an alternate storage spot for your firearms regardless. I have a bunch of stuff I inherited from my Dad that is off paper. I don't shoot or use any of it regularly with the exception of 1 revolver and an M1 Carbine. The remainder of it is stored off premises. This is done in case they ever come looking they won't find anything that is old enough to be off paper. Only keep around in the house what I am actively using.

Ummm, do you live in California???? AZ? NM? I-dah-Hoe?

Community property laws are bunk outside of community property states. I've seen Mom give the 2-family to Junior to avoid any probate or Medicare issues. Junior gets Dee-vorzed. Now-ex-wife owns the 2-fam. Mom gets booted.

I'll give you guys this one: Maybe do a better job picking a spouse and working on your marriage.
 

Inherited Property in a Massachusetts Divorce — What Does the Law Say?​

Massachusetts law does not differentiate between separate property and marital property. In the event of a divorce, the court has the authority to divide all the assets owned by the couple — including inherited property — in a fair and equitable manner.

Circumstances Under Which an Inherited Property Might Be Considered Separate Property​

Property Inherited Before Marriage and Not Commingled During Marriage​

If you inherited the property in question before you got married and if your spouse did not contribute to it or benefit from it, the court might consider a separate property and allow you to keep it. For example, if you received a sum of $200,000 from one of your relatives and put it into a separate account, the court is unlikely to divide it.

Inheritance Received Just Before the Divorce​

If the inheritance in question was received just before you — or your spouse — decided to file for divorce, the court will most likely consider it separate property because your spouse did not contribute to it or benefit from it in any way.

Future Inheritance​

If you are named in someone’s will and set to receive an inheritance in the event of their death, the court is unlikely to divide it, since you only have an “expectancy interest” in the asset and have no control over it.

If the person who is planning to leave the inheritance changes their mind and amends their will, you might not receive anything. So, the court is unlikely to take your future inheritance into account while dividing your marital assets.

It should be noted that under Massachusetts law, the term “marital property” includes all assets owned by the couple at the time of divorce — including those that were acquired or inherited before the marriage. So, you should not assume that your inheritance is safe just because you received it before you got married.

Contact the experienced divorce attorneys at Davis Law Group today to take the necessary steps to protect your inheritance and to make sure your interests and rights are not violated by your spouse’s side during the divorce.

Circumstances Under Which an Inherited Property Might Be Considered Marital Property​

Property Inherited Before Marriage But Commingled During Marriage​

If you inherited the property in question before you got married, but if your spouse contributed to it or benefited from it during the course of your marriage, it will most likely be considered marital property.

Let us assume that you inherited a residential property from your great aunt before your marriage. If you and your spouse lived in it for a significant period of time or if your spouse contributed to the maintenance of the property, it will no longer be considered separate property, since it has become commingled during the course of your marriage.

Similarly, if you inherit a sum of money from someone in your family before your marriage, and if you put it in a joint account after you get married, and if your spouse contributes to it, it will be considered marital property and divided equitably in the event of a divorce.

Property Inherited During the Course of Your Marriage​

If the inheritance in question was received during the course of your marriage and if your spouse contributed to it or benefited from it in any way, it will most likely be considered marital property, since it is woven into the fabric of your marriage.
 
Ummm, do you live in California???? AZ? NM? I-dah-Hoe?

Community property laws are bunk outside of community property states. I've seen Mom give the 2-family to Junior to avoid any probate or Medicare issues. Junior gets Dee-vorzed. Now-ex-wife owns the 2-fam. Mom gets booted.

I'll give you guys this one: Maybe do a better job picking a spouse and working on your marriage.
Picking a spouse? Have u seen these 304’s out here?😂😂👍🏻
 

Inherited Property in a Massachusetts Divorce — What Does the Law Say?​

Massachusetts law does not differentiate between separate property and marital property. In the event of a divorce, the court has the authority to divide all the assets owned by the couple — including inherited property — in a fair and equitable manner.

Circumstances Under Which an Inherited Property Might Be Considered Separate Property​

Property Inherited Before Marriage and Not Commingled During Marriage​

If you inherited the property in question before you got married and if your spouse did not contribute to it or benefit from it, the court might consider a separate property and allow you to keep it. For example, if you received a sum of $200,000 from one of your relatives and put it into a separate account, the court is unlikely to divide it.

Inheritance Received Just Before the Divorce​

If the inheritance in question was received just before you — or your spouse — decided to file for divorce, the court will most likely consider it separate property because your spouse did not contribute to it or benefit from it in any way.

Future Inheritance​

If you are named in someone’s will and set to receive an inheritance in the event of their death, the court is unlikely to divide it, since you only have an “expectancy interest” in the asset and have no control over it.

If the person who is planning to leave the inheritance changes their mind and amends their will, you might not receive anything. So, the court is unlikely to take your future inheritance into account while dividing your marital assets.

It should be noted that under Massachusetts law, the term “marital property” includes all assets owned by the couple at the time of divorce — including those that were acquired or inherited before the marriage. So, you should not assume that your inheritance is safe just because you received it before you got married.

Contact the experienced divorce attorneys at Davis Law Group today to take the necessary steps to protect your inheritance and to make sure your interests and rights are not violated by your spouse’s side during the divorce.

Circumstances Under Which an Inherited Property Might Be Considered Marital Property​

Property Inherited Before Marriage But Commingled During Marriage​

If you inherited the property in question before you got married, but if your spouse contributed to it or benefited from it during the course of your marriage, it will most likely be considered marital property.

Let us assume that you inherited a residential property from your great aunt before your marriage. If you and your spouse lived in it for a significant period of time or if your spouse contributed to the maintenance of the property, it will no longer be considered separate property, since it has become commingled during the course of your marriage.

Similarly, if you inherit a sum of money from someone in your family before your marriage, and if you put it in a joint account after you get married, and if your spouse contributes to it, it will be considered marital property and divided equitably in the event of a divorce.

Property Inherited During the Course of Your Marriage​

If the inheritance in question was received during the course of your marriage and if your spouse contributed to it or benefited from it in any way, it will most likely be considered marital property, since it is woven into the fabric of your marriage.
f***ed up

[puke]
 
Or spend your money up front for a good lawyer and get a bullet proof prenump.
OR. . . . not get married. It's 2021. You either love her no matter what or you're banging her. If it's the latter, don't get married. She gives you an ultimatum, time to move on. How hard is this?

FWIW - I think most guys are blindsided by divorce. They aren't 100% sure this is the "one" but they don't wanna be left alone or have to go "fishing" again. So they get married. Then they forget to put the time in. One day, they get served. It's an utter shock to them. "How could she do this?" Marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. If you weren't planning on giving 100%, you shouldn't have gotten married. Even if the prospects of getting laid in the subsequent 5 years were slim.

And I truly am sorry some of you are going through this. AND, those here who realized hte material things were the LEAST of their issues - were the smartest.
 
Been there. Best advice I can give is in 2 parts.
Part 1. Remain calm. No matter what.
Part 2. Either agree on a dissolution of the marriage or prepare to enrich lawyers.
Best of luck...
 
Rhetorical question (a question that you only think of the answer in your own head):

I bet you want to kill her, right?

Don't answer that.

She will likely try to bait you to act violently against her.
She would like nothing more than for you to attack her.

Do some scenarios in you head with her getting nasty and you NOT attacking her.

Inoculate yourself against this attack she is planning.

Don't drink or it will make you out of control.
She wants that.

Get a lawyer like the ones who know firearms law to protect your guns - if they are valuable.

You really need a divorce lawyer for the other stuff.

Keep cool and good luck.
If an ex is this crazy communication should go through a lawyer or texts and emails.

I know someone who's ex faked a face to face altercation when speaking alone with her ex, started screaming to stop, the new bf came out and whooped the shit out of him and then he sat in jail for domestic without ever laying a finger on the ex.

Moral of the story: document everything, if necessary get and use a bodycam.
 
Typically in Mass all accounts will be divided 50-50 including retirement. Tangible goods are valued and then equally divided by value. They may be sold in order to make this happen but don't have to be. Bottom line is always 50-50 division for marriages of any duration like five years or more, even if the property was owned before marriage - yes that is true.

Did you list a value for the guns on your financial statement? If not, good. When you do put ' unknown'. Simply say you don't know for sure because the truth is you don't know precisely. If asked to estimate say you can't you have no idea. Maybe you bought them a long time ago. No where does it say you have to guess.

They may ask for an appraisal and you should decline. Make them try to get a court order. Probably won't get one.

Also avoid discussing the value with your attorney as well. They are there to represent you but are looking out for themselves when it comes to getting paid.

Good luck, Keep your head up and don't try to rush this, you will be better off.
Ha... Ha.. HAHA. .

Not if your "ex" doesn't show on the trial. Then it's up to the judge.
 
I can't tell you to lie to a court about how many guns you own. I know my wife doesn't know or care. Could be five could be fifty.

But I will tell you one thing: you should not be in that house. You will be baited repeatedly by her to justify her getting a restraining order and criminal charges. Unless her lawyer is one in a million in the divorce law industry, she's already been coached to play the victim.

@Cowgirlup is correct - I've seen it go badly both ways. If there are offspring involved, it's even worse.

My only advise is to keenly maintain situational awareness, and I would recommend not cohabitating. Things can change in a heartbeat. The "other party" (male or female) could walk into a judge's office one day with a steak-knife and claim felonious assault. Trust me - I've seen it happen, especially if someone isn't getting what they want.

Thank you for your service and good luck. If you can, turn it into a pure emotionless, colorless, business transaction. Everybody else will.

For your own safety, move out. ASAP, like yesterday. As things heat up she and her lawyer will try anything to make you do something that will have you arrested. You don't need that risk.

There's lots of divorce advice to be given, but it all starts with GTFO out of the house. Now.
 
No, I didn't. We agreed on a dissolution. This was in the early 90's. I made 18K a year and he made 70k. He wanted to keep all his assets and have me give sell the house and give him half of that too and we were only8 years into a 30 year loan. So not much equity. I had put up some of the down payment and his parents the rest. I refinanced the loan and gave back what his parents put it. He always said that if wasn't for my savings and credit rating we never would have gotten the house in the first place. I didn't even take spousal support which my attorney couldn't believe..

I had just a house. Not even a bed until a friend got married and gave me hers and I was quite poor for a few years.

So take your woman hating bullshit and spew it on someone who deserves it.

It isn't me. [wave]
Spousal support should no longer be an option. It was necessary when females couldn't work but there no reason for it now.
Strong independent woman getting paid by a man just for existing and being female.
 
FWIW - I think most guys are blindsided by divorce. They aren't 100% sure this is the "one" but they don't wanna be left alone or have to go "fishing" again. So they get married. Then they forget to put the time in. One day, they get served. It's an utter shock to them. "How could she do this?" Marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. If you weren't planning on giving 100%, you shouldn't have gotten married. Even if the prospects of getting laid in the subsequent 5 years were slim.

Exactly. Marriage is hard work even in the best of circumstances. You BOTH have to want it and work at it for it will not last.

Here are my 3 rules for making a marriage work. Of course there are more but if both of you can't get these 3 right then you have no hope.

1. Never lie to each other. This will kill a marriage faster than a Hi Point will jam.
2. Learn to compromise.
3. Make the decision that you want this marriage to last and then work at it.

I've been with my wife since I was in High School. We've had some super tough patches to the point that we went our separate ways for 7 years and then got back together. I would never BS anyone, it's damn hard work and there are some shitty days but in the end if you can stick it out it is worth it.
 
Spousal support should no longer be an option. It was necessary when females couldn't work but there no reason for it now.
Strong independent woman getting paid by a man just for existing and being female.
For me, this is the biggest reason why I can't get married. It's not the woman, I love women (the right one, that is), but the family court has not caught up with the times. When you get married, there is a subset of laws that come with obtaining a marriage license from your state. It seems like 99% of men are not aware of these, and nearly all women are.

Socially, I just don't think this "marriage on the basis of romance" experiment has worked. Originally, marriage was on behalf of God. Of course, there's no God or higher power among new couples, so what's left? Marriage on the basis of "love"?

I'm grateful to learn at an early age that PEOPLE CHANGE. The person you married 20 years ago may not be the same person that you're still tied with. I cannot take that chance.
 
Spousal support should no longer be an option. It was necessary when females couldn't work but there no reason for it now.
Strong independent woman getting paid by a man just for existing and being female.
The future is women. Good! They can pay the child support and alimony!!😂😂
 
@whacko is correct about the pension. I know that from personal experience.

Much of the rest of any potential advice depends upon some very personal factors of which probably none of us know. Like, what is the actual relationship like right now. Is she angry and vindictive? Or just wanting out of the marriage. Can you guys actually cohabitate without anything exploding?

Don't know how many firearms you have, and don't want to know. Protect at least some of them. Unfortunately the blessed Commonwealth of Massachusetts (sic) probably can/will tell her lawyer how many you have.

Make sure all of HER assets are on the table also. Especially anything expensive you may have purchased for her. It sounds like you paid for her vehicle, make sure that is pointed out also.

Been there, done that. But at least our divorce was somewhat amicable.
this is wrong, efa-10 registera transactions, does not register ownership, and there are several ways to legally own guns that were never fa-10'd
 
I'm grateful to learn at an early age that PEOPLE CHANGE. The person you married 20 years ago may not be the same person that you're still tied with. I cannot take that chance.
This right here! The problem especially with today’s modern woman is you don’t know what you’re going to get 10,15, 20 years down the road. I think this probably happens to a lot of us, it happened to me. You can never predict that after a woman has kids she hits the wall between 35 and 40 years old, renounces her Christianity, abuses anti-depressants and starts practicing witchcraft.

If two people want to get married fine do not fill out a marriage license! Instead of going to the priest and the state..go to a lawyer draw up your marriage agreement. And become an expert at your state laws when it comes to assets, debts, common law marriage and cohabitation.
 
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