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Divorce

FPrice said:
@whacko is correct about the pension. I know that from personal experience.

Much of the rest of any potential advice depends upon some very personal factors of which probably none of us know. Like, what is the actual relationship like right now. Is she angry and vindictive? Or just wanting out of the marriage. Can you guys actually cohabitate without anything exploding?

Don't know how many firearms you have, and don't want to know. Protect at least some of them. Unfortunately the blessed Commonwealth of Massachusetts (sic) probably can/will tell her lawyer how many you have.

Make sure all of HER assets are on the table also. Especially anything expensive you may have purchased for her. It sounds like you paid for her vehicle, make sure that is pointed out also.

Been there, done that. But at least our divorce was somewhat amicable.
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Mass might be able to ID what he purchased from within Mass but cannot verify what he still owns.

I'm leaning to the sacrificial few being on the table- sounds like she's being vindictive and won't settle unless there's a little blood involved. Anything of higher sentimental value should be protected. Some suggestions on that already above.
 
My Sister went through a divorce and she became so dishonest and nasty, I stopped my relationship with her. Unbelievable. Don't get into pissing contest over a few thousand this way or that. Just get through it with dignity. Be honorable, don't let it get nasty, and walk away from her. Thank you for your service and for your 2A support and commitment. Sorry u r going thru this dude!
 
mibro said:
Sounds like you did pretty well. Must be nice to be able to shake a dude down like that.
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No, I didn't. We agreed on a dissolution. This was in the early 90's. I made 18K a year and he made 70k. He wanted to keep all his assets and have me sell the house and give him half of that too and we were only 8 years into a 30 year loan. So not much equity. I had put up some of the down payment and his parents the rest. I refinanced the loan and gave back what his parents put it. He always said that if wasn't for my savings and credit rating we never would have gotten the house in the first place. I didn't even take spousal support which my attorney couldn't believe..

I had just a house. Not even a bed until a friend got married and gave me hers and I was quite poor for a few years.

So take your woman hating bullshit and spew it on someone who deserves it.

It isn't me. [wave]
 
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@Cowgirlup is correct - I've seen it go badly both ways. If there are offspring involved, it's even worse.

My only advice is to keenly maintain situational awareness, and I would recommend not cohabitating. Things can change in a heartbeat. The "other party" (male or female) could walk into a judge's office one day with a steak-knife and claim felonious assault. Trust me - I've seen it happen, especially if someone isn't getting what they want.

Thank you for your service and good luck. If you can, turn it into a pure emotionless, colorless, business transaction. Everybody else will.
 
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Agt. Smith said:
@Cowgirlup is correct - I've seen it go badly both ways. If there are offspring involved, it's even worse.

My only advise is to keenly maintain situational awareness, and I would recommend not cohabitating. Things can change in a heartbeat. The "other party" (male or female) could walk into a judge's office one day with a steak-knife and claim felonious assault. Trust me - I've seen it happen, especially if someone isn't getting what they want.

Thank you for your service and good luck. If you can, turn it into a pure emotionless, colorless, business transaction. Everybody else will.
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This right here! Make it an emotionless business transaction. Mine is on going and this is what im doing, so far so good. We sold the marital home and the money is sitting in a escrow account with the lawyers gaining interest, oh well.. just being patient.

It will be a 50-50 split down the middle including custody with my kids living with me more during the week because they’re staying in the school system and honestly I’ll come out of the marriage with more than I went into it with, same with her. The cohabitation thing is tricky. If she’s a lunatic and obviously trying to bait you get the hell out of there. My lawyer asked me what the situation was I told him it was peaceful we’re staying out of each other’s hair and he said stay in the house for as long as possible. I did and it worked out for me.
 
whatluck said:
Delete this thread and sell your guns to an out of state friend for $1?
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100%. Also liquidate all bank accounts and make the money disappear. In fact, impersonate her and liquidate her 401(k) and make that disappear. Shoot the dog. Wreck her truck. Piss on all of her clothes.

Because ALL OF THAT is 100% not going to turn around and bite you in the ass on this.

Sell your guns to someone for a $1. LOL. Screaming "Liar liar pants on fire" is a proper defense in court, too.


But delete this thread for sure.
 
mibro said:
Sounds like you did pretty well. Must be nice to be able to shake a dude down like that.
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Shitty comment without context
She stated low paying job at the time - did she put her carrier on hold to support his? We don't know but that happens all the time. The wife and I swapped off finishing up our degrees - would have been llow to consider her a noncontributor while I was building my career before she was able to get her degree.
 
Good luck, I'm doing the same thing right now my recommendation is get a good lawyer and try not to go crazy. Also don't post anything you don't want to be used against you.
 
I've gotten divorced twice in the last 8 years. The first, I nipped the lawyer thing in the bud by asking her if she wanted to blow our assets on lawyers or negotiate the divorce ourselves. She opted for the latter, When possessions came into the equation I was not going to fight about 'things', so I told her to take what she wanted. No stress divorce and total court costs, $400 I did fine.

Now my lovely Filipina was another story, pure horror show. In the end she was shown to be a liar and folded her cards after 20 months. I'm a Vet and she somehow managed to go to nursing school on my CHAMPVA after our divorce. She got caught lying on her short form and the Probate Judge roasted her alive. I hid nothing, I do not recommend lying on your financials.
 
Rat187 said:
I've gotten divorced twice in the last 8 years. The first, I nipped the lawyer thing in the bud by asking her if she wanted to blow our assets on lawyers or negotiate the divorce ourselves. She opted for the latter, When possessions came into the equation I was not going to fight about 'things', so I told her to take what she wanted. No stress divorce and total court costs, $400 I did fine.

Now my lovely Filipina was another story, pure horror show. In the end she was shown to be a liar and folded her cards after 20 months. I'm a Vet and she somehow managed to go to nursing school on my CHAMPVA after our divorce. She got caught lying on her short form and the Probate Judge roasted her alive. I hid nothing, I do not recommend lying on your financials.
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Damn! I didn’t realize your war of the roses divorce was with a Filipina😂 I thought after us guys got divorced we were supposed to go straight for the Asians😂. I’m assuming she lied to the VA and said she was still married that’s why she was still getting champVA?…
 
whacko said:
The coaching is absolutely true. I've told this story here on nes but it is such a win I'll tell it again.

Work acquaintance of mine many years ago was going through a divorce. He owned many guns. His wife didn't want anything to do with them and didn't know what he had only that he had handguns and Long guns. She didn't even know the combo to the safe. They were living in separate bedrooms and both had layered up. His lawyer told him to sell all his guns to his father..... do all the transfers at an ffl.......move the guns out when she's not home.......and put all the transfer paperwork in the safe and lock it up. Don't say anything to the wife. It paid off. One night they got into a verbal argument and she called the police and said he threatened her with a handgun. He stopped talking to her immediately and sat down in the kitchen and waited for the cops to arrive. Yup.....cops arrived and she said he threatened her with a gun and then put it back in the safe before the police arrived. Cops go to him and said we need to see that gun.....he said I don't own any I sold them to my father a month ago. He went to the safe....unlocked the door stepped back and said transfer documents are all on the top shelf. Even the cops were laughing at that point. She vomited on the floor as they cuffed her and arrested her for false police report. Total win.
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Outf***ingstanding
 
Any assets that you had prior to the marriage and can prove it are not subject to split. Same with any inherited assets. For example, I own the house that I grew up in and it is my name only. Wife can't touch it as it is an inherited asset.

Honestly you should have an alternate storage spot for your firearms regardless. I have a bunch of stuff I inherited from my Dad that is off paper. I don't shoot or use any of it regularly with the exception of 1 revolver and an M1 Carbine. The remainder of it is stored off premises. This is done in case they ever come looking they won't find anything that is old enough to be off paper. Only keep around in the house what I am actively using.
 
hide your weapons, to the point of transferring them to trusted friends til this blows over.

as for the money, ya it sucks, I was bankrupted by my divorce, and the child support was oppressive and then some.

But you can always make more money

Why is divorce so expensive?

BECAUSE IT IS WORTH IT !!!!
 
ddraper said:
Any assets that you had prior to the marriage and can prove it are not subject to split. Same with any inherited assets. For example, I own the house that I grew up in and it is my name only. Wife can't touch it as it is an inherited asset.

Honestly you should have an alternate storage spot for your firearms regardless. I have a bunch of stuff I inherited from my Dad that is off paper. I don't shoot or use any of it regularly with the exception of 1 revolver and an M1 Carbine. The remainder of it is stored off premises. This is done in case they ever come looking they won't find anything that is old enough to be off paper. Only keep around in the house what I am actively using.
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I’ve read horror stories about judges not giving 2 shits about assets like homes and inheritances being acquired before or after marriage date. They split them anyway. If an asset can’t be split it still has to be disclosed in financials.
 
Rat187 said:
Oh yes from Mindanao. Nasty vipers

Of course she lied, she lied about everything. I ended up in jail and she got to live in the house for 19 months free I had to pay for everything. These justice courts are murder.
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Did you lose your MA LTC permanently because of the jail time your liar ex wife stuck you with? I did a few days in a California jail back in the 1980s on a false arrest for carrying a perfectly legal knife. The judge dropped the charges but I still had to list the arrest and court appearance on my MA LTC application regardless, especially because it was a felony weapons charge under California law.
 
If this is in MA, the divorce statute Ch 208 sec. 34 defines what property is subject to division, and it is basically everything: "in addition to or in lieu of a judgment to pay alimony, the court may assign to either husband or wife all or any part of the estate of the other, including but not limited to, all vested and nonvested benefits, rights and funds accrued during the marriage and which shall include, but not be limited to, retirement benefits, military retirement benefits if qualified under and to the extent provided by federal law, pension, profit-sharing, annuity, deferred compensation and insurance."

"Marital estate" and "division of marital assets" are terms used for convenience. Bottom line is it doesn't matter if property was acquired before or after the act of marriage, or by inheritance, etc.

The value of the firearms is what is going to split, not the firearms collection itself, so you can keep the actual firearms as long as you have enough liquid cash to pay over to the ex for the adjustment. It is paramount to maintain your credibility and provide truthful financial statements.

* Have a friendly FFL do an appraisal of your firearms.

If you live in a medium or small town, you might want to call up the chief of police and introduce yourself and give him a heads up that there might be a false report of domestic violence filed against you by your soon-to-be ex and not to respond with SWAT. Otherwise, if that report does get called in and the PD look you up, they might feel compelled to gear up and go in hard for their own safety.
 
SgtHal75 said:
I’ve read horror stories about judges not giving 2 shits about assets like homes and inheritances being acquired before or after marriage date. They split them anyway. If an asset can’t be split it still has to be disclosed in financials.
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That is why my wife and I set up irrevocable trusts to protect our two sons. Let's just say that their choices in women are questionable. Divorce happens, they will own what is acquired together. The trust's were specifically designed as a framework to protect their future inheritance after we pass. In my line of work, we call it a "firewall".
 
qqac said:
If this is in MA, the divorce statute Ch 208 sec. 34 defines what property is subject to division, and it is basically everything: "in addition to or in lieu of a judgment to pay alimony, the court may assign to either husband or wife all or any part of the estate of the other, including but not limited to, all vested and nonvested benefits, rights and funds accrued during the marriage and which shall include, but not be limited to, retirement benefits, military retirement benefits if qualified under and to the extent provided by federal law, pension, profit-sharing, annuity, deferred compensation and insurance."

"Marital estate" and "division of marital assets" are terms used for convenience. Bottom line is it doesn't matter if property was acquired before or after the act of marriage, or by inheritance, etc.

The value of the firearms is what is going to split, not the firearms collection itself, so you can keep the actual firearms as long as you have enough liquid cash to pay over to the ex for the adjustment. It is paramount to maintain your credibility and provide truthful financial statements.

* Have a friendly FFL do an appraisal of your firearms.

If you live in a medium or small town, you might want to call up the chief of police and introduce yourself and give him a heads up that there might be a false report of domestic violence filed against you by your soon-to-be ex and not to respond with SWAT. Otherwise, if that report does get called in and the PD look you up, they might feel compelled to gear up and go in hard for their own safety.
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Those are some scary words😂. This is exactly what my lawyer told me. Basically if you can come up with an agreement that’s close to 50/50 as possible it’s a done deal. My ex has assets If I wanted to I could go after but I’m not. In return she keeps her stuff and I keep mine and we’re pretty much almost 50-50 exactly.
 
Divorced twice. On my third marriage now. I am not a quitter.
First divorce. We didn't have much and used one lawyer. We each had the kids 50/50. No other money changing hands. We didn't have much. She was getting her degree to teach at the time. Second marriage ended up with me filing for bankruptcy. She wouldn't stop spending money. Among other things. But, after the bankruptcy. No other money was harmed. I did move the guns out of the house second go round. Just to be safe. and disassembled her P226. I reassembled it before I left.

My current wife makes 3 times what I do. We are doing well. I don't care too much about it. Just moving to NH. It will be nice when the dust settles so I can get back to buying guns. So much money tossed at the house. It hurts

Keep your head up. Use your head and you will be ok. think of the greater good. Pay her less then the lawyer
 
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BOOTKNIFEFAN said:
That is why my wife and I set up irrevocable trusts to protect our two sons. Let's just say that their choices in women are questionable. Divorce happens, they will own what is acquired together. The trust's were specifically designed as a framework to protect their future inheritance after we pass. In my line of work, we call it a "firewall".
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Not trying to be a dick but I think there’s only one person on the planet that can break up an irrevocable trust… and it’s a Family Court judge. From what I’ve heard there would have to be a really really good reason for him to do so like serious financial abuse but the judge could do it.

Now let’s say one of your sons is getting a divorce and there’s 250k in that trust. His ex wife will not be able to get it but he will have to list it as an asset and bring that number into his financial equation. And then they work out the numbers from there for their agreement.
 

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