Broad daylight assault ignored by drivers in Middleborough

[Big_Red]

Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't you applying to some sort of cop job?

Mall Ninja?

 

[RI_John]

The market was either Demoulis or Market Basket I believe. There is one other theory of why no one helped,assuming that people saw what was going on.
Let's say someone did stop and helped the woman and she was hurt in the process of the rescue by accident. A good liability lawyer could make a bundle with lawsuit claiming if "X" had minded his own business woman would not have be as severely injured. I don't know if Mass has a Good Samaritan law or not.

Please don't tell me if you saw a woman being raped your first thought would be whether she would bring a civil suit against you if you helped her???


To put a lot of people at ease, the Massachusetts law only requires you to call the cops, sometime later.... here's the law-

--------
CHAPTER 268. CRIMES AGAINST PUBLIC JUSTICE

Chapter 268: Section 40. Reports of crimes to law enforcement officials

Section 40. Whoever knows that another person is a victim of aggravated rape, rape, murder, manslaughter or armed robbery and is at the scene of said crime shall, to the extent that said person can do so without danger or peril to himself or others, report said crime to an appropriate law enforcement official as soon as reasonably practicable.

-----

So there's certainly no duty to help a woman being raped. Your only duty is to make a phone call to the police, sometime later (provided of course that making such a call wouldn't put you in any peril)

okay, I have to stop! Sunday mornings are for chilling out, not getting riled up.

 

[MassMark]

What kind of "proper training" is required to help a woman being raped? What else do you need to know?

Sigh... I'm not getting back into THIS topic again. I know this group has people that help strangers in danger and people that don't. What else is there to say??

+ 1

Sucks having to roll the dice and hope someone is around to help you in time of need, but apparently that's what we have here...Again, "close the windows, pull the shades, turn the television up - it's not our problem"...

There really are sheep among us...

 

[WayneWong]

Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley:


I've been looking for the artical, it was posted here a couple of months ago.
I can't seem to find it now.

Be careful what you wish for Martha.

Monday, July 14, 2008
Prominent Boston Talk Radio Host Calls for Massachusetts Attorney General's Resignation and Impeachment
Jay Severin, popular talk radio host at WTKK 96.9, has called upon the Massachusetts Attorney General, Martha Coakley, to resign and has also encouraged his listeners to petition for her impeachment. On his show on July 14, 2008, Severin relentlessly blasted A.G. Coakley, calling her incompetent, stupid, unqualified, and disqualified, among other criticisms.

Severin's criticisms and call for action stemmed from A.G. Coakley's comments concerning an incident that allegedly occurred at a Raynham Market Basket, about which the Metrowest Daily News reported that, according to police reports, an elderly janitor allegedly reached under a bathroom stall petition and touched a four-year old's leg while the child was standing on a bucket in order to use a urinal. The boy’s father allegedly flung open the janitor's stall door and punched the janitor, giving him a cut on his lip and a welt on his forehead.

According to the Metrowest Daily News, the police report indicates that the janitor, 71, of Providence, told police through a translator that he was wrong for touching the boy, but that he was "only fooling around.” The janitor was charged with indecent assault and battery of a child under 14, but the police also charged the father with assaulting the suspect.

Discussing the incident with Jim Braude and Margery Eagan on their midday WTKK talk show, Attorney General Coakley engaged in the following exchange:

Jim Braude: Excuse me but the guy assaulted your child, you're supposed to call 911 and wait 'til the cops get there while this guy is there. Is that what you're supposed to do, Martha Coakley?

A.G. Coakley: Well, I, you know, uh, look, every situation is, is different. But, I don't know, how old was the boy?

Jim Braude: Four.

A.G. Coakley: Ok, so, where is the boy while you are doing this I mean, the kid is not at risk now, because the assault has ended. So you want to get, make sure the kid is safe. You don't know exactly what happened. Did the father see it. I didn't get all the facts of this., so I can't, but, I mean I, I, I understand the father's emotion. Uhm and, he may well be acquitted, and the facts may come out and he may not have been guilty, uhm, all I'm saying is that, you know, we, we really try and discourage people from self help.

Severin, along with an apparent majority of his phone-in listeners, was outraged not only that A.G. Coakley appeared to have little, if any knowledge of the basic facts of the case, but also that she seemed to admonish the father for having allegedly taken physical action against the child's alleged molester. With his characteristically passionate, erudite, and articulate delivery, Severin, in no uncertain terms, sided with the father.

"Here's a sound bite for you," Severin offered, "Were I the daddy, probably, I'd have shot him right on the spot."

The impact of Severin's call for A.G. Coakley's resignation or impeachment is yet to be seen. Severin commands a significant segment of Boston's afternoon drive audience.

Is Severin right? Do A.G. Coakley's comments indicate that she is not qualified to hold her post as the state's top law enforcement official? Feel free to comment and vote.



Here lies the problem. Even if you have the courage to help, you know Martha and her flunkies are going to try to put you in a world of ____.

 

[K-DUB]

this is nuts

i would have helped her. it could have been me.... it could be anyone here in that position-- unless you don't pull over for accidents

Me too. It's horrible that nobody helped her.

 

[highlander]

Please don't tell me if you saw a woman being raped your first thought would be whether she would bring a civil suit against you if you helped her???


To put a lot of people at ease, the Massachusetts law only requires you to call the cops, sometime later.... here's the law-

--------
CHAPTER 268. CRIMES AGAINST PUBLIC JUSTICE

Chapter 268: Section 40. Reports of crimes to law enforcement officials

Section 40. Whoever knows that another person is a victim of aggravated rape, rape, murder, manslaughter or armed robbery and is at the scene of said crime shall, to the extent that said person can do so without danger or peril to himself or others, report said crime to an appropriate law enforcement official as soon as reasonably practicable.

-----

So there's certainly no duty to help a woman being raped. Your only duty is to make a phone call to the police, sometime later (provided of course that making such a call wouldn't put you in any peril)

okay, I have to stop! Sunday mornings are for chilling out, not getting riled up.

Having never been in that situation I can't answer honestly and no "lawsuit" would not be the first thought that crossed my mind. The question would be
how do I help without getting the victim and myself out of the situation without getting severely injured. As much as I hate to say it my days of rolling around on the ground wrestling with who knows what have long since
past.

 

[K-DUB]

Having never been in that situation I can't answer honestly and no "lawsuit" would not be the first thought that crossed my mind. The question would be
how do I help without getting the victim and myself out of the situation without getting severely injured. As much as I hate to say it my days of rolling around on the ground wrestling with who knows what have long since
past.

Why would you wrestle the guy? Wouldn't it be more effective to pull your sidearm?

 

[mark056]

There are some pretty big men behind some very little computer screens who feel that they must rush in and be Sir Galahad. Maybe if some of you sanctimonious wannbes would actually get off your hero-fantasy induced arses and actually THINK about what you are saying, then perhaps you can see that there are times, places and situations where you do not want to go in half-cocked. In these scenarios that somebody posts, we never have all the facts and it gets way, way too easy to spew moral indignation.

I swear that some of you will someday rush into a situation employ deadly force, overcome your perceived assailent and then find yourself with a manslaughter charge or worse because you misperceived the information your sensory input was providing you.

In the case cited, would I have assisted....most probably I would have, if I had OBSERVED what was going on, and I am of the opinion that was the main reason that there weren't more responses. Most people who are driving are observing the road conditions and not necessarily what's going on by the side of the road especially if an event is blocked by a vehicle, taking place in a vehicle or outside on the passenger side of a vehicle. Add to this our propensity for multi-tasking such as cell phone usage, listening to our favorite radio show, yelling at the kids in the back seat or all of the above and the number of people who are totally aware of their surroundings while driving becomes even more marginal. I know that some people will say "I always know what's going on and you are full of s**t." Well maybe you are that one exception, or you are deluding yourself.

Now some of you are going to write witty and not so witty little retorts to this post, no doubt or take the easier way out and give me a negative rep point for the first paragraph (if you do please be enough of a man or woman to sign it, anonymous negative rep points are really a form of cowardice, especially coming from people who talk big after the fact).

Unless you have been faced with a genuine life or death situation, you don't know what you will do. More than likely you will react the way you have been trained, but even that is dicey based on various and sundry psychological and even enviornmental dynamics. (watching helplessly while someone drowns because you can't swim would be an enviornmental dynamic, for instance).

I guess what gets me fired up, is that I have dealt with just too many wannabe gunshop/armchair commandos in my life who talk big, but in the context of their own behaviors are really quite small and self serving.

Davy Crockett was quoted as saying: "Be sure you're right and then go ahead." That's good advice. Obioviously the Hon. Mr. Crockett felt he was doing the right thing when he fought and was killed at the Alamo, so he was willing to pay the price because of his principles...just make sure that you are willing to pay the same price and more importantly accept the fact that by reacting in a certain manner you might also be mistaking your perception of reality with what is actually happening.

You can write or say anything you want, it's your right, afterall but please just make sure you aren't being a wannabe who is Monday Morning Quarterbacking it. You owe that much to yourself in my opinion.

Mark056

 

[richc]

My Dad always taught me you never let anyone hurt a woman...

The law be damned, that is just the way it is supposed to be. I'd gladly put justice in the hands of twelve jurors under these circumstances...

Rich

 

[highlander]

I rarely carry as of late I'm either working or home,but if I were yes. I would like to think that the situation could be deescalated without having to draw a weapon but if push comes to shove then deadly force should be used.

 

[highlander]

There are some pretty big men behind some very little computer screens who feel that they must rush in and be Sir Galahad. Maybe if some of you sanctimonious wannbes would actually get off your hero-fantasy induced arses and actually THINK about what you are saying, then perhaps you can see that there are times, places and situations where you do not want to go in half-cocked. In these scenarios that somebody posts, we never have all the facts and it gets way, way too easy to spew moral indignation.

I swear that some of you will someday rush into a situation employ deadly force, overcome your perceived assailent and then find yourself with a manslaughter charge or worse because you misperceived the information your sensory input was providing you.

In the case cited, would I have assisted....most probably I would have, if I had OBSERVED what was going on, and I am of the opinion that was the main reason that there weren't more responses. Most people who are driving are observing the road conditions and not necessarily what's going on by the side of the road especially if an event is blocked by a vehicle, taking place in a vehicle or outside on the passenger side of a vehicle. Add to this our propensity for multi-tasking such as cell phone usage, and the number of people who are totally aware of their surroundings while driving becomes even more marginal. I know that some people will say "I always know what's going on and you are full of s**t." Well maybe you are that one exception.

Now some of you are going to write witty and not so witty little retorts to this post, no doubt or take the easier way out and give me a negative rep point for the first paragraph (if you do please be enough of a man or woman to sign it, anonymous negative rep points are really a form of cowardice, especially coming from people who talk big after the fact).

Unless you have been faced with a genuine life or death situation, you don't know what you will do. More than likely you will react the way you have been trained, but even that is dicey based on various and sundry psychological and even enviornmental dynamics. (watching helplessly while someone drowns because you can't swim would be an enviornmental dynamic, for instance).

I guess what gets me fired up, is that I have dealt with just too many wannabe gunshop/armchair commandos in my life who talk big, but in the context of their own behaviors are really quite small and self serving.

Davy Crockett was quoted as saying: "Be sure you're right and then go ahead." That's good advice. Obioviously the Hon. Mr. Crockett felt he was doing the right thing when he fought and was killed at the Alamo, so he was willing to pay the price because of his principles...just make sure that you are willing to pay the same price and more importantly accept the fact that be reacting in a certain manner you might also be mistaking your perception of reality with what is actually happening.

You can write or say anything you want, just make sure you aren't being a wannabe who is Monday Morning Quaterbacking it. You owe that much to yourself in my opinion.

Mark056

Thank you for putting into words that I couldn't begin to come up with.
+1000 for you

 

[Martlet]

There are some pretty big men behind some very little computer screens who feel that they must rush in and be Sir Galahad. Maybe if some of you sanctimonious wannbes would actually get off your hero-fantasy induced arses and actually THINK about what you are saying, then perhaps you can see that there are times, places and situations where you do not want to go in half-cocked. In these scenarios that somebody posts, we never have all the facts and it gets way, way too easy to spew moral indignation.

We don't need the whole story to post generalized responses. Doing the right thing is an attitude. Much like doing nothing out of fear for yourself. You can insult the people who choose to do the right thing. That doesn't justify the insulter's cowardice. It just makes him feel better about it.

I swear that some of you will someday rush into a situation employ deadly force, overcome your perceived assailent and then find yourself with a manslaughter charge or worse because you misperceived the information your sensory input was providing you.

And some of you will sit there in the safety of your automobile while bad guys do bad things to innocent people.

In the case cited, would I have assisted....most probably I would have, if I had OBSERVED what was going on, and I am of the opinion that was the main reason that there weren't more responses. Most people who are driving are observing the road conditions and not necessarily what's going on by the side of the road. Add to this our propensity for multi-tasking such as cell phone usage, and the number of people who are totally aware of their surroundings while driving becomes even more marginal. I know that some people will say "I always know what's going on and you are full of s**t." Well maybe you are that one exception.

Then what's your point?

Now some of you are going to write witty and not so witty little retorts to this post, no doubt or take the easier way out and give me a negative rep point for the first paragraph (if you do please be enough of a man or woman to sign it, anonymous negative rep points are really a form of cowardice, especially coming from people who talk big after the fact).

Talk big? It's sad that doing the right thing is now "big talk". It used to be the norm.

I guess what gets me fired up, is that I have dealt with just too many wannabe gunshop/armchair commandos in my life who talk big, but in the context of their own behaviors are really quite small and self serving.

And what gets me fired up is the people who care so little about their community and fellow man, that they'll turn a blind eye. Then they rush on here to insult the people who at least intend to help, or think it's the right thing. I'd rather have intended bravado that doesn't follow through, than intended cowardice that does.

You can write or say anything you want, just make sure you aren't being a wannabe who is Monday Morning Quaterbacking it.

Mark056

Like you?

 

[RI_John]

There are some pretty big men behind some very little computer screens who feel that they must rush in and be Sir Galahad. Maybe if some of you sanctimonious wannbes would actually get off your hero-fantasy induced arses and actually THINK about what you are saying, then perhaps you can see that there are times, places and situations where you do not want to go in half-cocked. In these scenarios that somebody posts, we never have all the facts and it gets way, way too easy to spew moral indignation.

Okay, I lied, I can't help myself, I have to address this.

I was responding to two posts thus far, one said "What if I got sued?" and the other said "My responsibility is to myself only and my own safety" If you agree with those sentiments, fine. I don't.

I have no hero fantasies, I am not a wannabe, and I am never half-cocked. I KNOW what I would do IF I SAW WHAT WAS GOING ON. I would stop, and I would do anything and everything possible to stop the rape. Period. There is no fantasy there, that is a fact.

If I was carrying, I would kill a man raping a woman. Period. If I was not carrying, I would take a crowbar out of the trunk and hit the rapist until he was no longer raping. If I didn't have a crowbar, I would try to pull the rapist off with my bare hands. If I was 30 years older and had no gun, no crowbar, and no physical strength left, I would stop the car as close to the rapist as possible and lay on the horn while I dialed 911.

I stop for every accident if there are no LE or EMTs already there. I have intervened physically on many occasions to help a stranger. I have been beaten and hospitalized helping others. When I was 19 I stopped on a rainy night in Maine when I saw a man chasing a woman in a yard, it was her husband assaulting her, I opened my passenger door and screamed at her to get in, then drove her, bleeding to her sister's house 35 miles away while she called the police. I ended up being fired from my warehouse 3rd shift job for being 2 hours late that night.

Sorry, but I KNOW what I would do.

 

[06LemansC6]

There are some pretty big men behind some very little computer screens who feel that they must rush in and be Sir Galahad. Maybe if some of you sanctimonious wannbes would actually get off your hero-fantasy induced arses and actually THINK about what you are saying, then perhaps you can see that there are times, places and situations where you do not want to go in half-cocked. In these scenarios that somebody posts, we never have all the facts and it gets way, way too easy to spew moral indignation.

Why go in half cocked? Most of the people that commit acts like these are the REAL cowards. That's why they attack someone smaller and weaker, like this woman. Chances are all it would take is ONE person to go up to the far side of the car and ask this woman if she needed help. I'd be willing to bet that would be enough to stop a coward like this in his tracks. He doesn't want to confront someone who may actually give him a fight. He preys of weaker unsuspecting victims.

 

[pbearperry]

I can't believe this crap. This country is falling apart because of week scared sheep. I would have gotten involved and one way or another that guy would have had a worse day then she did. My Hart goes out to that women and and her family. This type of thing really makes me sick.

Stuff like this has been going on for years.Way back in the 60's or 70's,sorry I forgot,a woman was repeatedly raped in a NYC alley in broad daylight and nobody came to her aid.The victim screamed the whole time and she saw literally hundreds pass by without even calling the cops.Nothing surprises me any more.

 

[pdm]

Stuff like this has been going on for years.Way back in the 60's or 70's,sorry I forgot,a woman was repeatedly raped in a NYC alley in broad daylight and nobody came to her aid.The victim screamed the whole time and she saw literally hundreds pass by without even calling the cops.Nothing surprises me any more.

Kitty Genovese.

 

[terraformer]

Charged in fast and screamed who wants to die first and when the group caught alook of my dog they ran for cover. Then all of a sudden the person that was being beaten stands up from behind the car and says no no no, these are my freinds, it's my birthday. Were just having fun. Great now i just stuck my face in where it did not belong. I was scared but i thought this kid was being killed.

This is why there is a duty on the part of a third party to understand the nature of the relationship between the first two parties involved in what appears to be a life threatening situation if you are a third party. It is, on it's face, not a bad rule BUT the fact that in this state, anyone who brandishes a weapon is charged with A&B w/ deadly weapon is a huge problem and why third party help, despite the internet balls of those here, is a very sticky situation. A cop can use the authority of his uniform to interdict without force. The only authority a private citizen has is the brandishing of the gun. The dumbass approach this state has taken to not seeing or accepting the positive side of "brandishing" basically sets up a situation where you either shoot first and ask questions later or you don't bother at all. In other words, go big or go home.

I would be very careful on how to intervene on a domestic abuse scenario, or anything remotely like a domestic abuse scenario and would not pull out a gun, knife, etc without a real clear indication that imminent harm was coming. I sure as hell would never shoot first and ask questions later. I am not talking shod foot here either, but a gun or the guy lunges with a knife and gets her once. The reason being is your defense to any A&B charge is her stating he was beating on her and she was afraid for your life. The wrong DA who doesn't give a crap the guy/girl has past domestic history or, and this is really common, he has little to no domestic abuse history because no one has ever reported him, and so you can't prove your side of the story because the victim clams up and claims it was all an act, or it really wasn't that bad, the abuser is misunderstood, etc. That abuse victim will not be helping you out of jail, I assure you.

Now, before you brand me a coward or for violating some sanctity of years gone past by stating this, I think it is right to intervene, but you have to be very smart about it if you don't want to go to jail for something that you really didn't do.

 

[terraformer]

What kind of "proper training" is required to help a woman being raped? What else do you need to know?

That she is indeed being raped and not an exhibitionist and masicist who gets off on public and violent sex for one.

 

[K-DUB]

That she is indeed being raped and not an exhibitionist and masicist who gets off on public and violent sex for one.

Oh, come on! I think the crying & screaming is a good indicator.

 

[terraformer]

Oh, come on! I think the crying & screaming is a good indicator.

Having dated 2 women who were raped, I can tell you that crying and screaming were not what they said how it happened. One was violently attacked too so this isn't late night drunk date rape. They apparently fought in the very beginning but then just drifted into a shock. It is a shame, but there is a shut down mechanism in the brain that gets tripped and puts people into catatonic shock at some point. I am not saying all do or would in that situation go into shock, but all I am cautioning is for people to think about non lethal means of intervening in third party disputes.

 

[Og Killah]

I can't believe this crap. This country is falling apart because of week scared sheep. I would have gotten involved and one way or another that guy would have had a worse day then she did. My Hart goes out to that women and and her family. This type of thing really makes me sick.

Exactly, look at our country. If my house burglarized and the intruder shoots at me and I return fire hitting him. If he dies I'm in all kinds of legal BS and if he lives even more because now I am guilty of maiming him. This is what our country and state are now. Its not like it used to be when our parents were our age.

Its sickening, but it has become our reality. This is how our world is going thanks to the bleeding heart liberals who are so busy trying to help those that don't deserve it, i.e. illegal immigrants, that they overlook the needs and issues of their fellow legal citizens.

 

[MXD]

First, I have a question. In a scenario like this, where it is a sexual/physical assault without a deadly weapon (I understand that he is a deadly weapon by himself but I am referring to a knife, gun, bat.....) what are considered reasonable means to defend her? I assume you can kick the shit out of him but could you approach with your weapon drawn because someone else's life was in danger and she had no means of retreat? If I were under those circumstances, life in danger with no means of retreat, lethal force would be justified. Are those circumstances justifiable when it is a third party?

Second, there is no way you can compare this to the BK incident. The BK incident was a crime against a business first where people were in jeopardy. If robbery was not his first motive, he would have just shot and not asked for money. This was a crime against a person. Totally different IMO.

Third, I was one who said that based on what I knew about the situation, I would not have acted in the BK incident but I would definitely have acted here. At the risk of sounding like an internet tough guy which I am definitely not, I was faced with a similar situation about 15 years ago. I was driving with 4 friends through Lynn to head to Revere beach (save your jokes, it was 15 years ago ). We came to an intersection on Bennett st and the main road it dumps you out on. We saw a guy and a girl arguing pretty violently so we slowed down. He did not see us because his back was to us. He gave her the most violent shove I have ever seen. Her head snapped and she hit a phone booth and fell. She was already crying at this point. 5 of us got out and rushed over. I ignored him completely at first and asked her if she was ok and needed a hand. She looked horrified but did not answer. Her face was all red and swollen so it looked like he was slapping her around as well. He snapped back "its none of your f***in business, get the f*** out of here, you don't know me mutha f***er" blah blah blah. I don't care how tough you are, 5 on 1 is a lose lose for you. Anyway, we pounded him into the ground. Looking back, it was way overboard from a legal perspective but he deserved it. We asked if she wanted a ride to the police station, home, or wherever just to get away from him and surprisingly she said no and she took off running. I don't know if she was scared of us or if it was her boyfriend and she was pissed that we beat him. I have no idea. Nothing ever came of it.

I will absolutely help any victim where deadly force is not the only obvious course of action. When deadly force is the only solution like at the BK, I can not say that I would. It would be a case by case decision. Apples and oranges

BTW, I am one of the most calm, respectful, and level headed people you will ever meet. My tolerance for people is great but in the case of the 4 year old getting touched in the bathroom, I would not be able to restrain myself if it were my son. Coakley should be ashamed and removed. If this father is arraigned I will be the first one in the protest line donating to his defense team

 

[andrew]

I know that this is going to make me sound like a heartless fu&k, but I have a wife and kids to take care of and if The Man is going to continue to make it a crime in MA to help other people out (and you know that it would come to that, the "attacker" would be her husband, etc), I ain't stopping.

It will haunt me for the rest of my life.

 

[trophygrl]

i have to say-- i am a bit disappointed in some folks here

 

[K-DUB]

I know that this is going to make me sound like a heartless fu&k, but I have a wife and kids to take care of and if The Man is going to continue to make it a crime in MA to help other people out (and you know that it would come to that, the "attacker" would be her husband, etc), I ain't stopping.

It will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I hope this never happens to your wife either, because people like you wouldn't help her.

This thread makes me very glad I have the ability & weaponry to protect myself.

 

[RI_John]

Since no one is changing minds here, I can at least tell more stories about situations I've been in to show I'm not some half-cocked hothead looking for a fight!

Two years ago, visiting family in rural Maine, driving home at 1a.m. from my Dad's house to my sister's house, I saw what appeared to be lights coming up from the embankment on the side of the road. I stopped car, went to the edge and looked down, 30+ feet down was a pickup truck, all smashed up, but sitting upright with engine and headlights still on. I scrambled down the embankment to find a man and a woman sitting in the truck. The woman was bleeding from the head and crying, the man (driver) was reeking of booze and obviously drunk. He got out of truck and I asked if he was okay,etc. He said he was fine, just went off the road. I said I would call for an ambulance on my cell. I got out my phone and he grabbed my arm and pushed me backwards hard and told me no ambulance and no police (obviously because he would be arrested)

He said that all he wanted from me was to help him push the truck back up the embankment!!! (clearly impossible!) I didn't punch him or argue, I thought on my feet, I knew I couldn't call for help near him and I also knew he was way too drunk to scramble back up to the road if I could get up there.

So I told him "Okay, I will push you out, no problem buddy! But see my car up there? It's blocking your path out, you'll just hit my car and roll back down- I'll run up the hill and move my car, then come back down to push you out!" In his drunken stupor he thought this was a fine idea. So I calmly climbed up the hill, got in my car, drove 50 feet away called 911, and left the scene after cops arrived and I told them the story.

No big deal, I know, but each incident like the above in my life gives me more confidence and trust in my ability to know what to do in scary situations.

 

[Admin]

Let not polarize our group any more than it already is.

We know where people stand.

 

[drgrant]

IF one makes the decision to assist, be wary. Sometimes man vs woman isn't always what it seems to be. You gotta evaluate the situation. This one was probably blatantly obvious, but I've seen some other man vs woman altercations that weren't so obvious.

Once I went to a local grocery store and a man and woman were chasing each other around in the parking lot, pulling, hitting, and yelling at each other. I heard the commotion and turned around and started walking back towards them (I was probably 30 yards or more away) and watched them briefly, but then they stopped messing with each other and got back into their car without further incident. It was readily apparent they were just f**king with each other, for whatever reason. A layperson would probably have thought it was a "real" domestic. I wouldn't have wanted to be "that guy" that got in trouble for pulling a gun on, or assaulting the male party in that incident, because I seriously doubt the victim would back you up when the police came.

Also keep in mind that domestics in general are weird. Realize that an attempt to intervene may result in the "victim" attacking you. (This happens to cops all the time trying to break up domestics, so it's not that far fetched. ) It also doesn't help either that the victim might be initially grateful for your intervention but then enters a denial phase, and
then they might even turn against you. What was a woman getting abused then mysteriously morphs into "He assaulted my boyfriend" when the cops show up.

Do the right thing, certainly, but just be aware there are some oddball risks (legal and physical) in the equation. I'm not saying "don't intervene" but thinking about it a tiny bit beforehand may save you a lot of grief.

ETA: I guess we're done here....

-Mike