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Baseless Lies!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by namedpipes, Jan 1, 2017.

  1. JayMcB

    JayMcB NES Member

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    Prepper is finding unfortunate definitions to 'irrigation' and 'backflow preventers' on his robin pron fetish sites linked from the SuckSuckBlow search engine
     
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  2. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    Jay called Pipes to get a Brazillian wax as a trans female, hoping that Pipes would refuse and Jay could then sue him for human rights violations. The joke is on Jay though as Pipes had no problem going forward with the job, and called him bluff. Jay is currently hospitalized and is regretting attempting this scam. He did get a free inflatable donut seat cushion though, so it's not all a loss.
     
  3. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    If Jay's surgery had not been so resoundingly successful, I would have refused him anyway.

    I've done Brazilians on probably 5000 ladies and honestly, he, well, she, was in the top 10%. You laugh, but I charge $80 for a touch up and $120 for the full treatment (plus tips!).

    And the donut was only necessary because his nether skin happens to be extremely delicate after the Taco Bell incident.
     
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  4. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    @Sauer Grapes, I was fascinated by the intensity with which you consumed your meal at tonight's NES Meat-Up. I also hadn't realized the restaurant served Tube Steak with, what was that? A cream sauce of some sort and pearled onions? Well you certainly seemed to enjoy it! Glad you had fun.
     
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  5. Sauer Grapes

    Sauer Grapes NES Member

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    Ah, no pipes. Tube steak was removed from the menu after the last meat-up! Someone claimed food poisoning.....
    I had meat on a stick. I played with the potatoes to make a base, then I stuck the meat stick in on end and said “look! It’s a meat-up”!
    You must have been in the bathroom AGAIN!
     
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  6. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    Nah, Pipes was there, he just didn't understand the joke because you used potatoes. If you used 2 peas, he would have got it.
     
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  7. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    I don't get it?


    [​IMG]
     
  8. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    That's hawt.
     
  9. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    Sauer G has finally admitted that she is NOT a nurse specializing in foley catheter insertions, but a florist for Edible Arrangements. I knew there was something funky when she critiqued the table centerpieces at John Hardvard's the other night. She just KNEW too much about floral composition and fruit.
     
  10. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    Pipes got excited when he heard about my new #plugthetube campaign. Way too excited. When I reminded him that it was about filling up youtube with 10 hour long garbage videos until the servers crash, he suddenly was much less enthusiastic.
     
  11. Fritz the Cat

    Fritz the Cat NES Member

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    Pipes can do a video of a sledge not getting crushed in a crusher and title it "sledge vs crusher"
     
  12. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    Breakin' hammers in the hot sun
    I fought the crusher and the crusher won
    I fought the crusher and the crusher won
     
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  13. Sauer Grapes

    Sauer Grapes NES Member

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    You got me.... I have a hot house of fruit and veggies growing on my deck. JH's centerpieces were so dry they may as well not even be there. BTW, the catheters really help tie the Edible Arrangements together well. No drooping. Unused catheters, yes, donated by our favorite doc, drgrant
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2019
  14. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    How do you know they are unused?
     
  15. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    She steals them (and IV bags, too) by the crate. This is her pot garden:

    [​IMG]

    I'm not entirely sure WHAT she does with the catheters. She can be using them ALL in edible arrangements...
     
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  16. JayMcB

    JayMcB NES Member

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    Grapes new catheter insertion business has hit some snags because of the California Reaper pepper based lube she's been using. Google reviews have been burning her up
     
  17. Sauer Grapes

    Sauer Grapes NES Member

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    Way to rub it in, Jay. I guess I'll go back to Franks, I put that shit on everything!
     
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  18. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    Who is this Frank guy that Sauer Grapes keeps visiting?
     
  19. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    "franks" is her nickname for "penii". She'd briefly gone lesbo, but CowgirlUp is fickle and it turned out, despite all indications, that JayMcB is NOT female.
     
  20. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    Pipes accomplished an impressive feat... a credit score of 0. Considering the lowest possible score is actually 300, no one is sure how this happened. This is all part of his identity theft protection scheme. He'll be coming out with a book on his strategy and going on a book signing tour, titled "I'm a Zero and So Can You". (He's self publishing, so no editor read through it yet.) We're all very proud of you!
     
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  21. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    This is slow lately. I will have to just start telling lies about myself.

    I'm starting a new viral challenge for the millennials. I call it the Roswell Challenge, in honor of the Roswell TV show. Drink a bottle of nail polish remover to see if you are an alien with superpowers.
     
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  22. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    You should try it for real. I don't mean drink the stuff (replace it with water) but try to get them to follow. They have to live stream though. Or... dead stream, maybe would be a better word for it.
     
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  23. JayMcB

    JayMcB NES Member

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    pipes and prepper are not one-upping each other on their ammo storage and arsenals
     
  24. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    <truth>
    Prepper has a long journey ahead of him then [laugh]
    </truth>
     
  25. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    At least the arsenal of pipes and I are worthy to compare and admire. Jay's arsenal consists of 50k rounds of 40 S&W, and an old half box of whatever a Florbert takes.
     
  26. namedpipes

    namedpipes

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    upload_2019-8-5_20-21-12.png

    I dunno about his but mine takes both 6mm and 9mm
     
  27. Yazz

    Yazz NES Life Member NES Member

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    Sauer uses my services to check the catheters to verify non usage. As a plumber I am working on my doctorate at P.U.
    I am just about to complete my Feces.
     
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  28. JayMcB

    JayMcB NES Member

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    amateur numbers....I have a lot more fotay than that...that's only 100 boxes

    too bad I don't have and have never had anything that shoots it
     
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  29. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    Cool... do both barrels fire at the same time? How do you site in both barrels so that they hit the same spot no matter what distance you fire from? That's some advanced shooting skills there. For extra credit, I want to see one of the bullets hit the other bullet mid-flight. I would guess one caliber is faster than the other (9mm?), so you'll somehow need to get the slower caliber to fire a fraction of a second earlier than the faster caliber. Anyway, I think I've given you enough for your project next weekend.
     
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  30. Yazz

    Yazz NES Life Member NES Member

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    Pipes is bragging again. That is a BB gun and a 22.
     
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