BANNING LIGHTERS

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"Distributors of the devices defend them, arguing they're marketed for adults and that it's up to parents to watch their kids."

What a ridiculous concept! [rolleyes]
 

hminsky

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Do you remember Irwin Mainway, Dan Aykroyd’s character from “Saturday Night Live,” whose company sold Bag O’ Glass and Teddy Chainsaw Bear?


Consumer Probe

Consumer Reporter.....Jane Curtin
Irwin Mainway.....Dan Aykroyd

Consumer Reporter: Good evening, and welcome to the holiday edition of "Consumer Probe". Our topic tonight is unsafe toys for children. For instance, this little bow and arrow set. [ holds up ] Pull the rubber suctions off, and the arrows become deadly missiles.

[ cut to full shot, showing Irwin Mainway seated to Joan's right ]

We have with us tonight, Mr. Irwin Mainway, President of Mainway Toys. Uh, Mr. Mainway, your company manufactures the following so-called harmless playthings: Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing Set, Mr. Skin-Grafter, General Tron's Secret Police Confession Kit, and Doggie Dentist. And what about this innocent rubber doll, which you market under the name Johnny Switchblade? [ holds up doll ] Press his head, and two sharp knives spring from his arms. [ demonstrates ] Mr. Mainway, I'm afraid this is, by no means, a very safe toy.

Irwin Mainway: Okay, Miss, I wanna correct you, alright. The full name of this product, as it appears in stores all over the county, is Johnny Switchblade: Adventure Punk. I mean, nothing goes wrong.. little girls buy 'em, you know, they play games, they make up stories, nobody gets hurt. I mean, so Barbie takes a knife once in a while, or Ken gets cut. You know, there's no harm in that. I mean, as far as I can see, you know?

Consumer Reporter: Alright. Fine. Fine. Well, we'd like to show you another one of Mr. Mainway's products. It retails for $1.98, and it's called Bag O' Glass. [ holds up bag of glass ] Mr. Mainway, this is simply a bag of jagged, dangerous, glass bits.

Irwin Mainway: Yeah, right, it's you know, it's glass, it's broken glass, you know? It sells very well, as a matter of fact, you know? It's just broken glass, you know?

Consumer Reporter: [ laughs ] I don't understand. I mean, children could seriously cut themselves on any one of these pieces!

Irwin Mainway: Yeah, well, look - you know, the average kid, he picks up, you know, broken glass anywhere, you know? The beach, the street, garbage cans, parking lots, all over the place in any big city. We're just packaging what the kids want! I mean, it's a creative toy, you know? If you hold this up, you know, you see colors, every color of the rainbow! I mean, it teaches him about light refraction, you know? Prisms, and that stuff! You know what I mean?

Consumer Reporter: So, you don't feel that this product is dangerous?

Irwin Mainway: No! Look, we put a label on every bag that says, "Kid! Be careful - broken glass!" I mean, we sell a lot of products in the "Bag O'" line.. like Bag O' Glass, Bag O' Nails, Bag O' Bugs, Bag O' Vipers, Bag O' Sulfuric Acid. They're decent toys, you know what I mean?

Consumer Reporter: Well, I guess we could say that all of your toys are really unsafe and should rightfully be banned from the market. I guess I would just like to know what happened to the good ol' teddy bear.

Irwin Mainway: Hold on a minute, sister. I mean, we make a teddy bear. It's right here. [ picks up giant teddy bear ] It's got a nice little feature here, you see? I'll hold it up here. We call it a Teddy Chainsaw Bear. [ revs chainsaw in teddy bear's stomach ] I mean, a kid plays with saws, he can cut logs with it, you know what I mean.

Consumer Reporter: Well, this is certainly a very sad situation. One of the precious joys of Christmas warped by a ruthless profiteer like yourself.

Irwin Mainway: Well, that's just your opinion, you know what I mean?

Consumer Reporter: Well, I just don't understand why you can't make harmelss toys like these alphabet blocks. [ points to blocks ]

Irwin Mainway: C'mon, this is harmless? Alright, okay, you call this harmless? [ holds block in hand ] I mean.. [ plays with block and fakes injury ] Aagghh!! I got a splinter in here, look at that! This is wood! This is unsanded wood, it's rough!

Consumer Reporter: Alright, that's enough of this ridiculous display. [ holds toy phone ] Here is another creative toy, safe enough for a baby!

Irwin Mainway: [ grabs phone ] You say it's safe, I mean, look at this cord.. the kid is on the phone - "Hello? Hello?" - then.. [ twists cord around his neck, screams, and falls backward in chair ] You know what I mean? It's an example! You see my point, a dangerous toy like that?

Consumer Reporter: Well, let's try this one. What about this little foam play ball? I mean, even you, Mr. Mainway, can't find anything dangerous about this. Huh?

Irwin Mainway: [ takes ball, bounces it on table, then shoves it in his throat and feigns choking ]

Consumer Reporter: That's all the time we have for "Consumer Probe" this week.
 

tuna

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The worst part is that these people are serious. I don't know which part of the article was the saddest, the call for federal regs (Bureau of Alchohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Explosives and Lighters - once again, a good name for a convience store), the remark about the "torch like flame" (Great, now we've got assault lighters to contend with) or the idiot who bought her daughter one as a toy and has her convinced to say "Owie" now.


Worst of all, THESE PEOPLE VOTE!!!! Please make sure that you and your fellow gun owning friends do, too - it really IS for the children.
 
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hmmmm

"The point is, if adults can't figure it out, children sure can't."

Maybe adults should I dunno... buy their kid a bag o glass to play with instead... or bag of sulfuric acid. What I didn't know what sulfuric meant how was I supposed to know!?! The parent bought the kid a lighter... idiot. seriously... sure It looks camoflaged as a dog or a frog or whatever, but its not THAT hard to figure out they must have been wildly oblivious. I mean it was near the cigs and the register I bet.... [thinking] people just need to take some responsibility.
 
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people just need to take some responsibility.
The problem is that they don't and because of it, they want to ban it for everybody. Some people collect these things and enjoy the variations!
 

drgrant

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Last I knew as a kid growing up, none of the other kids that set things on fire needed a novelty lighter to do so. [laugh]

What a bunch of loon toons- ban this, ban that.... that's the
solution for everything. [rolleyes] Is it just me, or do these
people like go around looking for shit to ban that was never really
a problem before?

Is it really a lighter that looks like a frog- is that why little johnnie
burned the house down? Or is it because some lame parent was
unable to communicate to their kids that it wasn't a toy or keep it
out of their hands? Or was it simply because johnnie was a perpetual
screwup anyways and decided to play with his dad's stash of illegal fireworks-
inside the house... [rolleyes]

As it is it pisses me off whenever I have to buy a disposable lighter these days... about 80% of them have some kind of "kiddy block" on it that probably does more to block adults from using it than anything else. [angry]

Here it comes.... wait for it.... "Bbbbut its FOR THE CHILDREN!!" [puke]

Part of me also wonders- all this nannying- all it does is end up causing kids to abdicate responsibility because growing up they have to deal with less and less of it. Society is so busy NERFing everything that when a child does have to deal with something which requires REAL responsibility (like driving an automobile)
they're less prepared to do so.

-Mike
 
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Oh great. Now I'll have to fill out an FA-10 every time I go to Cumby's.
I'm sure Zippo lighters won't be on the approved roster.

Their should be a way to ban people who try to ban everything.

I'm not a parent, yet, but it seems to me the responsibility lies squarely in the parent's lap here. And, if an adult can't figure out how the thing works and keeps screwin' around with it then I'm sure, eventually, Darwin will smile down upon them.
 
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JonJ

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Post ban lighters will be marked "for law enforcement/military use only" so I bet you'll get really good money for them!
[rofl]
Wrong. Lighters fall under the purview of the "men in rubber" (firefighters). They're the only ones profeshunel enuff to play wid fire.
 
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Jose

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In January, Laura Fowler, of Gladwin, Mich., wanted to give her 4-year-old daughter a treat for cleaning her room. She accidentally bought her a novelty lighter, thinking it was a toy Dalmatian dog.
Some people should be sterilized shortly after birth. Like her.
 

MrsWildweasel

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Wrong. Lighters fall under the purview of the "men in rubber" (firefighters). They're the only ones profeshunel enuff to play wid fire.
It's scary enough that Alan is going to be a firefighter, then add to it the he does explosives for the govt, and fireworks shoot, that should give you a nice warm fuzzy feeling.....[wink] [laugh]
 
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Mass. bans novelty lighters

Monday, August 30, 2010

BOSTON - Massachusetts has banned cigarette lighters that look like guns, pens, lobster claws and other objects in an effort to cut down on accidental fires started by children.

SNIP

The law takes effect in November, and includes exemptions for collectible lighters made before 1980.

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1277929
 

lupis42

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As it is it pisses me off whenever I have to buy a disposable lighter these days... about 80% of them have some kind of "kiddy block" on it that probably does more to block adults from using it than anything else. [angry]
Fortunately, those can be easily removed with a pair of pliers or a screwdriver...













my kid brother showed me how. [laugh]
 

Twigg

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Ya know, 31 months ago this all seemed like a joke. [thinking]
Who would think lighters would actually get banned ? [frown]
Lesson learned: Always take the libtards seriously, no matter how crazy they sound.
 

lupis42

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Ya know, 31 months ago this all seemed like a joke. [thinking]
Who would think lighters would actually get banned ? [frown]
Lesson learned: Always take the libtards seriously, no matter how crazy they sound.
If you catch yourself uttering (or thinking) "nobody could be that stupid", remember: the MA legislature can and will prove you wrong.
 
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