ARRRRGGHH!

dwarven1

Appleseed Instructor
Dealer
NES Member
Rating - 100%
33   0   0
Joined
Mar 13, 2005
Messages
27,664
Likes
1,956
Location
Starksboro, VT
I have GOT to either get my foot healed, or find another job that i can do without excessive walking/standing.

I just had a visit from a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses! *sound of Ross not-so-quietly freaking out*

I can't take this any more!

Fortunately, I have an interview tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, it's in Boston. Oh, well... can't have everything. *deep, calming breath*

Definitely time for a trip to the range tomorrow afternoon. I'll either be celebrating or working off frustrations, depending on how the interview goes.
 
Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
May 5, 2005
Messages
10,995
Likes
417
Location
Vermont, a Free State
There's a simple cure for JW's. Get a bird dog, preferably a Black Lab. Hold it by the choker collar when they come to the door. Make sure they see you try to restrain the dog from going after them. Worked on JW's and door to door salesmen for me in the past (El Paso, in the late 70's).

Either that, or try to convert them to Judaism, in your case. Again, I seriously doubt they'll come back. (I respect Judaism, I don't respect JW's, but I know they're the ones that will freak out.)
 
Rating - 100%
6   0   0
Joined
May 2, 2005
Messages
9,150
Likes
97
I got rid of them once and for all. This past summer, I could see them walking up the street. I was outside working in the yard and they start walking into the driveway. So I ducked around the side of the house and stripped off my shirt. When I came around the side of the house all they see is goa-tee wearing shaved headed tattooed man come walking around the side of the house with no shirt carrying a shovel. They waited there as I approached. They said "Good afternoon sir" I said.. "It would be if I could remember where I buried that last body" Then pointed to my chest (One of my tattoos is a full necklace with a large crucifix right in the middle of my sternum) and said "I'm catholic and prefer not to hear of your paganistic rituals....Good Day"!

I had to walk around the back of the house again to hide my laughter. Then just to push my point across, I yelled really loud from the back of the house.. "YEAH! WOOHOO I found it baby, we're clear"!

Haven't seen them since!

Adam
 
Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
May 5, 2005
Messages
10,995
Likes
417
Location
Vermont, a Free State
I can just see my friend Farting Fred (Ross, this guy is SparkPlug Joni's broter) dealing with them.

He's reportedly "fond" of sheep.

He also claims to be a "Lesbiterian" minister.

Both are obviously jokes, but well practiced.

He does have a sttuter, which just adds to the whole effect.
 
Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
Mar 9, 2005
Messages
13,893
Likes
198
Location
Haverhill, MA
Nickle said:
I can just see my friend Farting Fred (Ross, this guy is SparkPlug Joni's broter) dealing with them.

He's reportedly "fond" of sheep.

He also claims to be a "Lesbiterian" minister.

Both are obviously jokes, but well practiced.

He does have a sttuter, which just adds to the whole effect.
[lol] [lol] [lol]
 

Pilgrim

Moderator
NES Member
Rating - 100%
14   0   0
Joined
Aug 24, 2005
Messages
16,012
Likes
1,232
Location
RETIRED, at home or wherever I want to be
You think you have it bad? I lived NEXT DOOR to a JW church/temple (?) !!

Guess where they started out their new travellers to try and ply their trade.

At first I was nice, then slowly turned less nice. I found I couldn't insult them no matter how hard I tried.

Finally my Jr High schooler son got out is woodburning kit and burned me a nice wooden sign saying, Jehovah's Witnesses - GO AWAY !. I hung it right beside my door. None ever came back.

Best gift the kid ever gave me.
 
Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
Mar 9, 2005
Messages
13,893
Likes
198
Location
Haverhill, MA
Pilgrim said:
You think you have it bad? I lived NEXT DOOR to a JW church/temple (?) !!

Guess where they started out their new travellers to try and ply their trade.

At first I was nice, then slowly turned less nice. I found I couldn't insult them no matter how hard I tried.

Finally my Jr High schooler son got out is woodburning kit and burned me a nice wooden sign saying, Jehovah's Witnesses - GO AWAY !. I hung it right beside my door. None ever came back.

Best gift the kid ever gave me.
[lol]
 
Rating - 100%
49   0   0
Joined
Jun 7, 2005
Messages
23,187
Likes
995
Location
The Land of Confusion and Pissed off!
I just tell them that I can't be part of them because I didn't see Jehovah's accident.




I had a friend that used to answer the door in a priests type robe. He would then answer the door and ask them if they wanted to come in and discuss what they had to say sitting inside the circled star on the floor.

That would get them to stop coming around.
 
Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
May 5, 2005
Messages
10,995
Likes
417
Location
Vermont, a Free State
Lynne, what I said about Fred isn't made up. That whole post is actually true (especially the sheep part, it is a joke, though).

And they DAMN sure won't try to get Guzzi Guy to join.

Here's a pic of his bike:






Wander around there for a while, you'll know why most DeadHorse don't have to worry about JW's. http://www.deadhorse.com
 
Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
May 5, 2005
Messages
10,995
Likes
417
Location
Vermont, a Free State
You just don't understand Woodchuck Humour, my dear. Twas I being the smart ass, with the truth, no less.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/cc30.html

Both his dry Yankee wit and his frugality with words became legendary. His wife, Grace Goodhue Coolidge, recounted that a young woman sitting next to Coolidge at a dinner party confided to him she had bet she could get at least three words of conversation from him. Without looking at her he quietly retorted, "You lose."
 
Top Bottom