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ARRRRGGHH!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by dwarven1, Oct 6, 2005.

  1. dwarven1

    dwarven1 Appleseed Instructor Dealer NES Member

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    I have GOT to either get my foot healed, or find another job that i can do without excessive walking/standing.

    I just had a visit from a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses! *sound of Ross not-so-quietly freaking out*

    I can't take this any more!

    Fortunately, I have an interview tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, it's in Boston. Oh, well... can't have everything. *deep, calming breath*

    Definitely time for a trip to the range tomorrow afternoon. I'll either be celebrating or working off frustrations, depending on how the interview goes.
     
  2. Nickle

    Nickle

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    There's a simple cure for JW's. Get a bird dog, preferably a Black Lab. Hold it by the choker collar when they come to the door. Make sure they see you try to restrain the dog from going after them. Worked on JW's and door to door salesmen for me in the past (El Paso, in the late 70's).

    Either that, or try to convert them to Judaism, in your case. Again, I seriously doubt they'll come back. (I respect Judaism, I don't respect JW's, but I know they're the ones that will freak out.)
     
  3. Lynne

    Lynne

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    I tell them I'm a minister (which I am) and ask them to go push someone else's button.
     
  4. Adam_MA

    Adam_MA

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    I got rid of them once and for all. This past summer, I could see them walking up the street. I was outside working in the yard and they start walking into the driveway. So I ducked around the side of the house and stripped off my shirt. When I came around the side of the house all they see is goa-tee wearing shaved headed tattooed man come walking around the side of the house with no shirt carrying a shovel. They waited there as I approached. They said "Good afternoon sir" I said.. "It would be if I could remember where I buried that last body" Then pointed to my chest (One of my tattoos is a full necklace with a large crucifix right in the middle of my sternum) and said "I'm catholic and prefer not to hear of your paganistic rituals....Good Day"!

    I had to walk around the back of the house again to hide my laughter. Then just to push my point across, I yelled really loud from the back of the house.. "YEAH! WOOHOO I found it baby, we're clear"!

    Haven't seen them since!

    Adam
     
  5. Nickle

    Nickle

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    I can just see my friend Farting Fred (Ross, this guy is SparkPlug Joni's broter) dealing with them.

    He's reportedly "fond" of sheep.

    He also claims to be a "Lesbiterian" minister.

    Both are obviously jokes, but well practiced.

    He does have a sttuter, which just adds to the whole effect.
     
  6. Lynne

    Lynne

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    [lol] [lol] [lol]
     
  7. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim Moderator NES Member

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    You think you have it bad? I lived NEXT DOOR to a JW church/temple (?) !!

    Guess where they started out their new travellers to try and ply their trade.

    At first I was nice, then slowly turned less nice. I found I couldn't insult them no matter how hard I tried.

    Finally my Jr High schooler son got out is woodburning kit and burned me a nice wooden sign saying, Jehovah's Witnesses - GO AWAY !. I hung it right beside my door. None ever came back.

    Best gift the kid ever gave me.
     
  8. Lynne

    Lynne

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    [lol]
     
  9. C-pher

    C-pher

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    I just tell them that I can't be part of them because I didn't see Jehovah's accident.




    I had a friend that used to answer the door in a priests type robe. He would then answer the door and ask them if they wanted to come in and discuss what they had to say sitting inside the circled star on the floor.

    That would get them to stop coming around.
     
  10. Nickle

    Nickle

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    Lynne, what I said about Fred isn't made up. That whole post is actually true (especially the sheep part, it is a joke, though).

    And they DAMN sure won't try to get Guzzi Guy to join.

    Here's a pic of his bike:

    [​IMG]




    Wander around there for a while, you'll know why most DeadHorse don't have to worry about JW's. http://www.deadhorse.com
     
  11. Lynne

    Lynne

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    Holy cripes! Where's the bike? [lol]
     
  12. Nickle

    Nickle

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    Windsor, CT
     
  13. Lynne

    Lynne

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    I was being a wise arse luv. [lol]
     
  14. Nickle

    Nickle

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    You just don't understand Woodchuck Humour, my dear. Twas I being the smart ass, with the truth, no less.

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/cc30.html

    Both his dry Yankee wit and his frugality with words became legendary. His wife, Grace Goodhue Coolidge, recounted that a young woman sitting next to Coolidge at a dinner party confided to him she had bet she could get at least three words of conversation from him. Without looking at her he quietly retorted, "You lose."
     

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