Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich!
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach
a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky..... not really good for
anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals Dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays
no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005 :
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located
among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a
clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are
located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge
of immigration.
Number 9 - Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich!
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach
a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky..... not really good for
anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals Dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays
no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005 :
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located
among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a
clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are
located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge
of immigration.
