Advice Needed.....

Join a club already. Keep the guns stored safely.

If the father wants to have a talk he might hold off for a while. But what if he brings it up in front of grandma and the rest of the family of lefts at Christmas or something. As a club member with a gun safe you can end the discussion saying that you love the sport and are safe about your handling and storage.

Since you are planning on marrying this woman you might consider avoiding a second amendment rant to people who don't care.

And I get the money issue. If you're going to be paying for a wedding shortly and drop $1500 on an AR next week it will make sense if she is not happy (assuming that you are not loaded and don't have enough savings to cover the wedding yet).

Or you could take a lot of the other advice here... Tell her its your money... you'll do what you want, you're moving, and don't ask questions.
 
.....but he and my future mother in law have a big problem with the guns. They are both voted for Obama and love the job he has done(I think you get the picture). Her dad said that myself, my fiancee, and both her parents need to get together and "talk about it". I think, and most of you I think agree, there is nothing to talk about.
Ducking the firearms “talk” might put you in an inferior position. If you do have the “talk” you could tell her parents that you know many people have an irrational fear of firearms. You could also tell them that as much as you’d miss them you won’t be offended if they don’t visit. You could also tell her parents that Obama said he believes in the second amendment and that’s good enough for you!

Respectfully,
jkelly
 
This may be the time to step back a bit, put the issue of guns on the back burner, and review how you and your fiancee feel about the key beliefs in both of your lives. Right now you are feeling the warm glow of attraction, probably much of it physical and emotional. But what are the things that you really believe in that guide your actions and decisions? (I am trying hard to leave politics out of this and talk core values.)

From what little you have posted, it sounds like her family leans heavily to the left and embraces liberal "values". Is this something you can live with and find common ground to sustain a marriage? Can she live with your values and work to sustain the marriage?

You had better be asking these questions now or you might end up paying a heavy price (in many ways) later.
 
I think you should have the family talk. Heres how it should go down...

"So, dad (you can call him this because hes about to be your future father-in-law right?), I think I know just what your going to say so I took the liberty of doing some research to be prepared for this conversation.......

I would recommend the AK, I find it has superior reliability and firepower of the AR15. A lot of people to pull for the AR though, mostly due to its better accuracy as well as the ammo and parts availability. I think you should really try them both a try.

Now before you answer, I think I should also tell you that we should really go shopping for a new carry gun for you. I can't recommend one, you really need to try a bunch and see how you like their ergonomics. The shop down the street is open until 6, we should head down there right away.

Oh and I know what you are going to say. Don't worry about it. Dad, your already signed up for the safety class tomorrow. And mom, you and (insert fiancee's name here) are already registered for Women on Target tomorrow as well!! No need to thank me, I knew you would love it."

Either way it works.... you either fix the problem, or the problem removes itself from your vicinity.
 
tell her it's a financial investment! look at the price increases!

Time for a new squeeze.

Wait til she catches you surfin porn......that'll be a whole new thread! [rofl]
 
It sounds like your fiancee might just be "gun shy", so to speak. I wouldn't rush out and sign her up for a women's only gun course YET, walk before you run. Sometimes people who have never SEEN a real firearm, let alone handled one, let alone shot one are irrationally terrified of them. In the northeast they have most likely been indoctrinated their entire lives with misinformation about every single thing about guns. Even if they aren't rabid antis, they still have seen "Bowling for Columbine", read mis(dis)information about how guns are 50 times more likely to kill a loved one than an intruder, etc. They are scared.

Now, sure, one way to handle this is to run away, but you MAY be missing a great opportunity to convert someone to the correct way of living. Start small, with nuggets of information, like "Honey, did you know the Supreme Court said the police have no obligation to protect us? How crazy is that?" That's not about guns PER SE, but it really is, and it plants the seeds of truth. Then leave some gun magazines lying around. Then books. Especially books about self-defense. Then perhaps a book on the 2nd Amendment. I have one sitting in the bathroom magazine rack right now 'The Founder's Second Amendment'. Then to show her that guns really are just small machines, let her hold PIECES of your 9 next time you clean it. Nothing like holding a barrel to see that it's just an inanimate tube.

Break the walls down slowly. You'll see how she reacts. If she slowly warms up, good- you're moving in the right direction. If she gets angry, defensive and attacking- not good. But it's too soon to tell. Give it some time, but keep your eyes open.

As others have said- are there other issues? Is it really JUST about guns? If it is, you can probably work with her. Who knows? Maybe in a year or so she'll be going with you to the range. Or maybe she'll just quietly ignore your hobby. Or maybe you'll be dating new women! [grin]

As for the parents wanting to have "a talk", that's a whole separate can of worms.
 
Ducking the firearms “talk” might put you in an inferior position. If you do have the “talk” you could tell her parents that you know many people have an irrational fear of firearms. You could also tell them that as much as you’d miss them you won’t be offended if they don’t visit. You could also tell her parents that Obama said he believes in the second amendment and that’s good enough for you!

Respectfully,
jkelly

That is an excellent point. His STATED position is while he doesn't like them, he believes in 2A and won't try to take our guns away.

GF's dad needs to learn his boundaries. Unless Serpent is dating a 17 y/o, it is none of his business what his princesses bf does for a hobby.

My advice to you is to tell gf that you like guns like she (might) like shoes. It's an interest of yours that is within your rights. And she can sell them for mad profit after you die. (probably during a murder spree by your AR)

Politely tell dad he is out of line and he is entitled to his opinion, but not entitled to participate in your relationship with gf.

Then invite him to the Village Idiot fundraiser shoot. Let him see how these awful, murdering gun owners shoot kittens for fun and bet how far the blood will spray, or whatever happens at these things. Even a BO supporter can't find fault with that. (I see you aren't green though, go green and check out the member's forum to find out what I'm talking about)

PS. You need to buy more guns. Yours sound lonely!
 
Shes concerned about how much money they cost.Bells should be going off.Sounds like if you marry her you will have to ask permission to make any purchases.I have friends that have been caught in this trap.
 
GTFO. Seriously.

It's not the money. It's the guns.

If you value your hobby, your passion, and your freedom, get out now.

If she won't accept you as you are, right now, guns and all, she will never accept you. If you change to suit her, she will walk all over you for the rest of your relationship.

There's plenty of other girls out there...


I agree with Jay and a few others. The fact that she is getting her family involved with this issues is troubling. I would seriously put the marriage plans on hold if not cancel (BTW...I am female). Bringing her dad into the picture for your hobby/beliefs is wrong in my not so humble opinion. Guns are legal...it is not like you are out smoking crack etc. Marriage is NOT about changing people to your liking...if she can't accept you as you are...well, it does not bode well for either. Divorce is long and painful (ask me or my hubby how we know [sad2]). Ask her if she is going to bring her parents into every disagreement you have, are you going to marry her or her parents?
Good luck, have the dicussion with the dad...I think it could be enlightening to say the least. You will get a look at your future.
 
I agree with Jay and a few others. The fact that she is getting her family involved with this issues is troubling. I would seriously put the marriage plans on hold if not cancel .

Cancel the wedding because the parents don't like guns? Oh No, a tough situation... lets run away... bunch of pussies. what are we, the F'in french

Stand up for yourself.
 
Cancel the wedding because the parents don't like guns? Oh No, a tough situation... lets run away... bunch of pussies. what are we, the F'in french

Stand up for yourself.

Well, that was not the point...my point was if this crap is starting already...her running to mommy and daddy everytime she does not like something, then she is not ready for marriage. Marriage is not whinning to your parents about everything. Next it will be mommy and daddy are over because you dont want your bedroom pink and fluffy or whatever. It will just go down hill if she thinks this is the way to solve every problem.
 
Let's take a look at the dynamics first.
She quite possibly doesn't like guns, is scared of guns, and thinks they are icky. She doesn't feel comfortable around them, but really can't have this conversation with you, since you don't seem to have any problems with them.
So she goes to the other male figure for advice - her dad. So now he hears that the daughter is scared of the fact that you have guns, and isn't sure if her fears are unfounded. Then dad, being protective of his daughter, says don't worry, you're right, I'll have a talk with him. He probably couldn't care less that you have guns, and may have even had some curiosity about them (after all it's a mechanical piece of equipment) but his concerns for his daughters feelings are at the forefront, so he'd rather that you didn't have guns, and then his daughter would feel better. It seems like the easiest way out. In an attempt to use logic to persuade you (since you most likely wouldn't respond well to "guns are icky") he suggests bringing up the financial side of it, even though neither may be concerned about the money.

The best solution would be to talk to the father and let him know that you want to teach him a little about them in order to make an informed decision. This gets the father to warm up to guns, respect your views, and makes him feel like he is important in this decision making process. He gets to maintain his delusions of adequacy, and you get your point across. Then work on the fiancee,saying that you don't expect her to like guns, but that she should at least learn more about them and then make an informed decision. She can then go back to dad, who says they really aren't that bad, her fears that marrying a gun toting guy are allayed, and she will either warm up to gun ownership or at least be tolerant of them.
My wife has no interest in going shooting at all or even owning any firearms, but she's ok with me owning them and going shooting, as long as I don't leave stuff laying around in front of our four year old daughter (perfectly understandable). I haven't pushed the topic of kids and guns, but I overheard a conversation between them when the topic came up. My wife told her that "guns are very dangerous and only certain adults who are trained in how to properly use them should handle guns. Some day when you're older, Daddy will show you the proper way to use them. Until then, if you see one, stop, don't touch it, move away, and go tell an adult what you found."
I can't ask for more than that. Marriage is about compromise. There are some things where I'm willing to cave, and others that are show stoppers. She is the same way. We both ask permission to make any purchases over $100 (required items like grocery shopping, medical bills, or car repair bills are exempt), and that seems to work for us. YMMV.

Once she realizes that her previous opinion was based on ignorance, she should come around. It could very well be that the only reason she brought the topic up with her dad is because she wanted a second opinion, and most guys don't have guns. This doesn't mean that she is automatically going to be second guessing everything. She will have a better trust with you, and feel more comfortable about sharing any reservations with you. She will be less likely to ask her dad about any future issues. Plus you will have converted two more. If you try to have the talk and she doesn't warm up to the idea, or if she decides to hold her fathers opinion at a higher worth than yours, then it's most likely hopeless and you're better off getting out now before the house & kids.
 
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... She couldn't get me to sell my Mustang and she sure as hell won't get me to sell the guns. There won't be a "group discussion" either.

My only advice is that you do not want a woman who is trying to change you and who you are. At the same time you don't want a woman whom you are trying to change. You will never be happy and neither will she.

Beyond that, the last thing any marriage needs is meddling in-laws.

Good luck.
 
her running to mommy and daddy everytime she does not like something, then she is not ready for marriage. Marriage is not whinning to your parents about everything. Next it will be mommy and daddy are over because you dont want your bedroom pink and fluffy or whatever. It will just go down hill if she thinks this is the way to solve every problem.

He showed the Dad the guns,
when did the Daughter run whining to the Dad? Lets not make more of this situation then there is.
 
They are Obama supporters. It's just the tip of the iceberg- they aren't rational folks like you and I. I don't think it will ever work out, and he ought to take the warning and get out of the situation because I think it could end up getting really ugly.
 
It sounds to me like your GF and her family are liberal control freaks. She tried to make to get rid of your car as well? WTF?

Dump her it will only get worse from here.

Don't forget, all it takes is one phone call from her to have your guns taken from you.
 
My wife is mildy anti. Voted for bama boy, but wanted hillary instead. I think in 31 years, she went to the range once with me. On the other hand, she did not make a big stink when I bought guns for the kids at a young age. She only give me sh*t about buying new guns when we are broke, otherwise she does not care that much except for the plaintive "what do you need another gun for?".

So, If involving your gf in shooting sports is important to you, then it might not happen. Take her to the range a couple times and see if any interest is growing.

You might have trouble with concealed carry when she is around. She will simply not understand the need--probably ever.

If her ignoring your sport and letting you have your way unmolested is all you want, that is easier to accomplish. Buy some stuff (guns, case of ammo, etc) and make sure she sees it, and judge her response. Leave a box of ammo on the kitchen table for a while, and notice if she treats it like a dead rabid skunk, or just ignores it. If she is flipping out about it, well...you might be facing a tough choice.

You do NOT want to get married, and all of a sudden have her try to lower the boom on you. Especially if you have kids someday!
 
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Fiancee hates guns?

You need to express that it is an interest of yours and you have no plans on getting rid of them. You are not dating her parents, you are dating HER. Her parents need to mind their own business. Yes, a big sit down needs to be had. But to discuss your inlaws and how they are trying to run your life. That is ridiculous! They need to live their own lives and mind their own business! Your girl, on the other hand, needs to be educated a little BY YOU about firearms and the safe way to own them. Try and make her understand that neither she nor anyone else are in danger because you own guns, you are actually safer. Good luck!
 
She couldn't get me to sell my Mustang and she sure as hell won't get me to sell the guns.

My wife tried to make me switch between the two. She said if I sold my guns I would have more money to buy more cars [laugh]. I told her she was making a crazy choice, that I was much more likely to hurt or kill myself or others with my sports cars than with my guns. Anyway, she doesn't really bug me too much, as while she is a bit afraid of the guns, she understands it's my choice and she has no say; when you get right down to it, she does like to have the protection they offer, and she does enjoy shooting clays, even if she won't admit it!

Her father isn't into guns either but he's a good sport, has been to the range with me, and asks me about it occasionally because he knows I'm interested. He's been trying to find a contact to get me into his local gun club down in Georgia. He did try to give me the usual, "but why would you need those types of guns?" at one point, but it seemed like a genuine question, not an attempt to fight about it.
 
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I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.

My wife was born in a socialist country (France). She grew up and was educated in the shadow of a socialist city (San Francisco). Her family is very left-wing.

Now, she's a gun-owning Sarah Palin fan living in New Hampshire.
 
They are Obama supporters. It's just the tip of the iceberg- they aren't rational folks like you and I. I don't think it will ever work out, and he ought to take the warning and get out of the situation because I think it could end up getting really ugly.

Since when does a man leave a woman because her parents don't like him or disagree with him politically? Jesus, talk about ceding control to someone else!

My wife's parents are Obama supporters and worse than that, Yankees fans. They've learned not to discuss politics with me, no point, and they've learned not to give my children Yankees gear (it goes in the garbage) My wife respects me for standing up to her father. It's possible to disagree with someone and still have a cordial relationship with them.

Besides, you don't want in-laws hanging around your house even if they DO agree with you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. We see them once a year at most.
 
Thanks for the responses guys. I am just going to tell my fiancee that there will be no discussion on the subject with her parents. My own parents aren't too hot on the subject either (and they are right wing), so I just don't bring it up. She came to the range and shot my pistol with me and actually liked it...so I don't know whats going on. I have left gun related items around the house and she doesn't even flinch. She just gets nervous seeing the AK it seems.

The guns are locked up in a safe that I just refered to as a cabinet..so everything is OK relative to safety issues.
 
My wife was a gun hater for many years. Now she has a class A, and carrys a 32 mag H&R. So I feel they can change.
 
I haven't read through all the post so this may have already been suggested. Tell them that you'll listen to their side of the argument at the range when you present your side while you're teaching them basic marksmanship and firearm safety.
 
My Wife was not crazy about firearms when we 1st got married. She stated that she did not want her children exposed to them (A flawed plan since I have something to do w/ her having kids). The 1st time I came home from work and the boys were running around the yard w/ cap guns, I informed her of what she had done and made it clear that it was my responsibility to teach them about firearm safety. They had BB guns inside of a month, and my wife had a .38 inside of a year. Now I tell her that I'm taking the boys shooting and all she says is have fun. My inlaws also were concerned that I had firearms, untill I took each Nephew that was going into the Marines to the range and taught them to shoot.
 
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