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A Tale of two Robins

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by FPrice, Oct 13, 2005.

  1. FPrice

    FPrice Retired Zoomie NES Life Member NES Member

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    Two robins were sitting in a tree.


    "I'm really hungry," said the first one.


    "Let's fly down and find some lunch."

    They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of
    newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate
    and ate and ate till they could eat no more.


    "I m so full, I don't think I can fly back up into the
    tree," said the first one.


    "Let's just lay back here and bask in the warm sun,"
    said the second.


    "O K," said the first.


    So they plopped down, basking in the sun.

    No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat
    tomcat up and gobbled them up. As the cat sat washing
    his face after his meal, he thought...

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    (don't look yet)

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    (ready??)

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    (you're gonna love this one)

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    |

    .... he thought.....



    "I JUST LOVE BASKIN ROBINS."
     
  2. Lynne

    Lynne

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    [​IMG] <groan>
     
  3. MrsWildweasel

    MrsWildweasel Moderator NES Member

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    Ohhhh,booooooooooooo. [lol]
     
  4. SiameseRat

    SiameseRat

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    uuuuuuughhhhhhhh
     
  5. Moderator

    Moderator Moderator NES Member

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  6. C-pher

    C-pher

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    Damn, that was funny right there...



    Anyway...

    Is this going to be the offical Pun thread? Becuase me and some buddies used to collect them. And I love them. And I think that I have TONS in my e-mail box just sitting there waiting to be shared.
     
  7. FPrice

    FPrice Retired Zoomie NES Life Member NES Member

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    C-pher,

    A pun is the lowest form of humor. Especially when someone else posts it first!

    :D
     
  8. C-pher

    C-pher

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    Yes, but I love them. And I'm SO going to keep yours to pass along.

    I've yet to heat that one.
     
  9. Admin

    Admin Staff Member Administrator Moderator NES Member

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    +1
     
  10. C-pher

    C-pher

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    Anyway...

    Let's get this thread going...


    Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.



    This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
     
  11. FPrice

    FPrice Retired Zoomie NES Life Member NES Member

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    <groan>

    Did you hear the one about the insomiac dyslexic agnostic?

    He couldn't sleep at night as he pondered the existance of Dog.

    <bada boom! bada bing!>
     
  12. C-pher

    C-pher

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    Oh yea??

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

    The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".
     
  13. FPrice

    FPrice Retired Zoomie NES Life Member NES Member

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    This one will separate the men with a classical education from the boys.

    Everyone here probably knows about William Penn and how he founded Pennsylvania. But few remember his two aunts, Mathila and Gertrude who were both outstanding in the culinary arts and founded one of the first bakeries in the new city of Philadelphia. Their pastries were wonderful but their most famous product were their pies. They made the most wonderful pies of every kind. People flocked from all over western Pennsylvania to try to buy one of their pies.

    However as their pies became more and more sought after, Mathila and Gertrude found they had to raise the prices. And the more they raised the prices the more people wanted their pies and it became an ever-increasing cycle until the only thing Philadelphia residents could talk about was the pie rates of Penn's aunts.
     
  14. dwarven1

    dwarven1 Appleseed Instructor Dealer NES Member

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    *groan*

    You should be ashamed of yourself, Frosty! That's awful. And I didn't even see it coming.
     
  15. Grifter

    Grifter

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    I thought it was just me, but after showing it to two other people they don't understand it either. I know where the punch line is I'm just having trouble following it.
     
  16. FPrice

    FPrice Retired Zoomie NES Life Member NES Member

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    Ross,

    :D
     
  17. FPrice

    FPrice Retired Zoomie NES Life Member NES Member

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    grifter,

    This is an old one, it's a take-off on an old Gilbert and sullivan opera:

    http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/pirates/html/index.html
     
  18. C-pher

    C-pher

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    Ok, that's funny. And I liked it....

    Here you go..

    These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving...





    That only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
     
  19. Chris

    Chris NES Member

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    From the master himself, Isaac Asimov:

    Been a favorite of mine for years.

    [​IMG]
     
  20. Chris

    Chris NES Member

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    Another Asimov Classic:

     
  21. dwarven1

    dwarven1 Appleseed Instructor Dealer NES Member

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    In the Lord of the Rings movie, what kind of network did Sauron have in his office connecting his computers?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    A Tolkien ring network, of course.
     
  22. Chris

    Chris NES Member

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    No wonder it took so long to get any information around.
     
  23. dwarven1

    dwarven1 Appleseed Instructor Dealer NES Member

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    I'll see your Asimov and raise you Spider Robinson:

     
  24. KMaurer

    KMaurer Moderator NES Member

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    Ah, there's that education factor again. It doesn't really qualify as classical, but it's certainly most US public screwels today. I don't know whether to nlame William S. Gilbert or Richard D’Oyly Carte more for this stinker. Try googling some part of this:

    Hoist on his own savoyard! [wink]

    Ken
     
  25. Lynne

    Lynne

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    The Pirates of Penzants (sp?)

    I'll second Ross <groan> too. [lol] [lol]
     
  26. C-pher

    C-pher

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    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
     

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