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A Note from Son

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Lynne, Nov 24, 2005.

  1. Lynne

    Lynne

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    A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO
    SEE THE BED WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED
    UP. THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON
    THE CENTER OF THE BED. IT WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD"

    WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND
    READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:

    DEAR DAD,

    IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING
    THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I
    WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU. I'VE BEEN
    FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE
    EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS AND HER TIGHT
    MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES. BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION,
    DAD - SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA ASSURES ME THAT WE
    WILL BE VERY HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER
    SINCE SHE IS SO MUCH OLDER THAN I, AM.

    SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK
    OF FIREWOOD ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE WINTER. SHE WANTS TO
    HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF
    MY DREAMS TOO.

    BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT
    ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING
    IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE
    NEED.

    IN THE MEANTIME, WE PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE
    FOR AIDS SO THAT BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE
    DESERVES IT!!

    DON'T WORRY, DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO
    TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO
    VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.

    YOUR SON, JOHN

    P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT BILLY'S HOUSE.
    I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS
    IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD WHICH IS IN MY DESK CENTER
    DRAWER.

    I LOVE YOU!

    PS2: CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME
     
  2. MrsWildweasel

    MrsWildweasel Moderator NES Member

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    [lol] [lol] [lol]
    That is good. Thankfully Alan was never that creative. [lol]
    Derek you might want to take notes though. [twisted] [wink]
     
  3. Admin

    Admin Staff Member Administrator Moderator NES Member

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    [lol]
     
  4. C-pher

    C-pher

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    I'd kill her anyway. [shock] [shock]
     
  5. SnakeEye

    SnakeEye Banned

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    the level of verbal judo required to manufacture such a tale outweighs any paltry grades they may have gotten. Clearly their getting it, and probobly not from there anyways :)
     

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