2 degree of separation person at risk

The gentleman in question appears to have been arrested on something unrelated. Hopefully they hold onto him.

@MMArtist, we can't just go around bashing people on the noggin. While I have high confidence that this girl is on the level and is a victim in this, it isn't impossible to believe that she could be a psycho manipulating the system to persecute a fine young lad. No, I don't believe that based on what I do know (some of which hasn't been said here), but I don't have either standing or "absolute" knowledge to step in and do that. SHE and her family / SigOth have that standing.

1. Sure you can.
2. Why would you be on a forum asking advice for something.. well at all really, but especially if you have no clue what is going on.

Your an odd guy
 
I'm aware of someone, a young (20 something) girl with an abusive ex boyfriend that is stalking her. He's broken into her house, planted cameras inside, was (or is) tracker her phone and stakes out her workplace. He's physically assaulted her, despite a restraining order that supposed to make her invulnerable to any attack by him (yeah, I know).

She has a child and her mother lives in the area. Works in a blue collar field and no particular ties to the area other than family and familiarity.

My advice was to buy a one way bus ticket to someplace at least a thousand miles away and build a life there. IMO if she doesn't, she'll be the plot to a Lifetime Movie of the Week by sometime next year.

Does anyone out there have suggestions for other approaches (she does not want to leave the area) or resources that could provide her with some assistance beyond a "restraining order". It's my opinion she isn't "strong" enough physically/mentally to effectively defend herself, even with a weapon.

No, I'm not looking for recommendations on hit men. Serious suggestions, please, or none.

First off - I wouldn't suggest running away from the area where she's at least got SOME people who know her.

If the guy stalking her is TRULY batshit crazy ( and from your description it sounds like he's 'on the spectrum') - I'd bet it's better than even odds that he would just try to find her and track her down.

Then she'd be dealing with his shit while living in an area where she DOESN'T have the support of people who know her and would want to protect her. Plus running away like that stands a good chance of pissing the guy off even more - which will only make any attack he does to her even worse.

If she's not physically or mentally in a place to defend herself - I'd say that's one place to start. Hunters look for easy prey. Criminals DO know how to search out easy victims. If you yourself are saying that she's too physically and/or mentally weak to stand up to an assault by this guy - I'd say that's a pretty big component of why this is happening in the first place.

I understand the viewpoint that people should be able to get thru their lives without having to just constantly be victims of attack by d-bags, but that's also a little bit of fairy tale fantasy - if nobody is going to ENFORCE the fact that weak people should not be victimized simply for their weakness.

Which leads me to my only other suggestion (which is one I know you don't want to hear). If this turd won't stop - then somebody - somehow - needs to stop him.

I fully believe in that fear and pain are universal languages. Therefore - somebody like this shit who is going after this girl *somehow* needs to have fear and pain injected into HIS life. That doesn't necessarily mean a hitman - but it may mean a completely silent beatdown in a back alley that leaves him with broken leg and broken arm. If it doesn't work the first time - then let him heal up - and do it again.

Break his will - make him fear what pain and fear mean.

Random brutal attacks have a way of doing that to a person.
 
"It's my opinion she isn't "strong" enough physically/mentally to effectively defend herself, even with a weapon."

She needs to get her head in the game if not for herself for her kid. At 20 there may be some part of her that sees his unwanted attention as devotion instead of danger. Someone needs to make clear to her what is actually happening. She needs to learn how to defend herself. Get a dog. Alert any neighbors so they can also call the cops. She should also contact a local womens shelter for other resources that might be available.

Leaving the state might help but might not.

I worked a retail job for a large company when I was going back to school. One day a new girl in her early 20's showed up when we really didn't need any help. Her manager at a store in FL was worried when she kept not showing up for work. Went to her apartment and found her badly beaten. The manager found out she had a relative in NH. Bought her and her 2 kids plane tickets, got her a job at our store and shipped her up here. it was OK for a few months. Then he figured out where she was and started calling the store and going bat shit crazy on anyone who wouldn't let her talk to him.
We were all just waiting for him to show up at some point.

He got in her head. Promised he'd change...again. She eventually went back. She and I had a long talk and I knew that deep down she knew he wouldn't change. The rationalization process she went through was just crazy to me. I asked what his family life was like and his mom was abused by the dad and had also told her to run. I was bummed for weeks that she went back and took her young girls with her.

Your examples of why my first suggestion was that some work needs to be done on that girl's head.

Pretty much every instance of relationship related drama I've seen over the course of my life (I'm in my mid-50's now) - have a pretty big component of crazy behavior contributed by BOTH sides of the arrangement.

Women in particular can be very passive aggressive and seem very innocent on the surface but they'll be doing all sorts of emotional type shit that really sets some guys off.

I'm even seeing this now with women I know whose marriages have broken up - and they're in their late 40's - and still acting like 15 year olds playing mind games.

At least most of the men are old enough and tired enough by the time they're in their late 40's or 50's - to just walk away instead of engaging in dumbassery like stalking and threats of violence.


There's a reason why cops hate domestic violence calls. It's usually because the craziness exists on BOTH sides.
 
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