Ooooooh! Awfully tempting with that $2 off admin price. All I can see is the old fisherman dangling $2 coupon at the front door. I also showered today, so too close to go this weekend.
Go to a local laundromat and toss it in a dryer. This way, you can destroy their machine and your wife won’t get mad for destroying yours. Plus, it will be on the news and then we can have a new thread with an actual screen name to go with the “who did it.” This idea is super cool and stuff and...
My best guess was she was left alone a lot, in a crate. Possessions turn into obsessions for lonely dogs. You can break it, just a huge quantity of time is needed to reverse it, by the teaspoon.
Naked, put pistol in chest holster, trench coat and go to nearest busy intersection or small rotary and really expose it. You’ll get tons of attention and some giggle pointing.