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  1. #1
    Son of Kalashnikov Boris's Avatar
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    Default DIY: Shovel AK - photo tsunami warning!

    On this Thanksgiving Day, let me say this: God Bless America the only country on this shitty planet where you still have the freedom to build AKs in defense of Motherland! The only country where a shit shovel can become an awesome weapon of death and destruction.






    Do you love gardening, do you have a tool shed?


    Please be aware that hiding in your garage, there may be dozens of Killy, high-clip-capacitated, school-penetrating, children-hating, Assault Weapons of mAss Destruction! Please send this message to all your libtard friends to make sure that they call 911 when they encounter anything that looks like a shovel. Thousands of hardware and home improvement stores are selling AKs through the "shovel" loophole to anyone!





    The inspiration for this build came from this picture posted in another NES thread where ordinary comrades share their visions of naked AK porn.

    Dat Ass!




    Dat Ass-stock!





    When I was driving through VT backroads this fall, I stopped at a gun shop and seeing a few ARs made me feel gay enough to visit a dilapidated "antique barn" where farmers sell authentic shit from the local dump to idiot tourists. When I smelled a much stronger odor of cow shit, I saw this shovel and the image of the AK handle came to my exasperated mind. Flustered old dude was suspicious of a comrade in a BMW, on less traveled gravel roads of VT, who barely spoke English and needed a shit shovel "for my trunk" but let it go for $2. That's the best $2 I ever spent, closely behind that one time in Montreal - but that's another story.





    I cut the handle from the shovel and fashioned it into a buttstock for my Bulgy AK with ever changing furniture. This new butt stock had proven to be surprisingly comfortable.





    What kind of AK is it?





    What kind of stock is it?





    Did you start drinking again?






    Well, this is not the end, it's a beginning, because one night I was drinking with the shovel and contemplating what to do with it. It's funny, when you are sober, you can' understand how a shovel can share with you a delicious drink of vodka. So I said to shovel, I will re-unite you with your handle and we had another round of drinks to celebrate! ... and then I cut it up.







    To start, I wanted to anneal the shovel and pound it flat enough. To accomplish this I pissed into the furnace and lit it on fire. Then I added some waste motor oil to get to higher temps.





    This was a sunny day, but furnace temperature is considerably brighter than any surface around, so camera makes it look like night.









    The layer of oxide is completely industructable.





    To get rails straight, the trick is to bend them first





    Then you trim and ground them with an angle grinder. Receiver came out as straight as Liberace in drag thumbing through gay porn magazines. I do not however discriminate between straight AK receivers and those that chose different orientation.







    After that, receiver can be bent just like a regular AK receiver from a blank







    I even added Maadi style dimples





    Various holes were cut free hand with plasma torch, as you can see by the jagged edges I haven't been drinking





    and now we fit a highly collectable Romy trunnion









    I had a few strips of shovel left after cutting the top rails





    So I decided to bend them into internal rails like these from a stock flat





    Dimension wise, I just eyeballed them to get close enough and sandblasted them for welding onto receiver





    Spotwelding them did not work out too well, as receiver thickness is a bit thicker than regular AK receiver flats, so I cut 1/4 inch holes to weld rails through.





    While at it, I figured to cut out the selector key hole







    Then the rails are welded around and to the receiver







    Looks good









    Now for the barrel blank ... I am working with a cheapo $200, barelles kit so I figured I need to make my own barrel. I got an AK barrel blank ($30), profiled trunnion end, chambered it and cut extractor wedge. The chamber is probably barely good enough to be a machine-gun chamber, definately not a precision job. I lobbed off the end of the blank to bring overall length to 16.25".





    Here are populated AK barrel, virgin AK barrel and ... my blank-barrel thingie.





    I have then rivetized the trunnion





    Barrel was hammered in (press is broken again) and headspaced





    Since I was on a roll, I riveted a scope side mount that was kicking around.



    Here is a pic of an AK receiver and Shovel AK receiver. The latter is almost 2.5 times thicker and it feels like a rock. Shit, I tried to pound some dents out of the receiver and the hammer got dented, because in communist mAssachusetts receiver dents you!

    This receiver turned out to be stiffer than me watching full-featured film of Michael Kalashnikov doing Polina Porizkova in a heavy KVI tank on board of a navy destroyer in a midst of a battle.







    For all you AR fan boys, this is what M16 and a Romy AK crushed receivers look like.





    You can not bend this back





    Then I riveted a whole bunch more shit





    Sight block, gas block and front sight were just welded onto the barrel.









    My awesome and super-collectible Romy kit included kick-ass furniture, like this gas tube with "Mihaela" on it and 12 notches. I don't get it, Mihaela is a Romanian female name and the guy only scored 12 of them.







    I drilled the gas port after gas block was welded





    Assembly complete





    I put a $30 cheap scope with a double rail and WTF, since it had a second rail I added a cheap laser to go with it. The bolt on the scope needed periodic tightening, may be I need lubricate them with cat turds? Laser took off after about 20 rounds.

    After 50-60 rounds, the barrel was slightly warm. The height adjustment knob on the scope came off, which explained why it would click sometimes and sometimes not. Once I pulled it off, I could adjust fine.

    Here is my target at 50 yards:





    that's a 10 round group





    Keep in mind that:

    1. I suck as a shooter, the last time I was at the range was at Hora Dolor
    2. This is 40 y.o. ammo that came from a spam can, not a handload.


    Let's summarize:

    Shit shovel: $2
    Romy sans-barrel AK kit: $200
    Barrel blank: $30
    Compliance parts: free from Martha Coakley (... in exchange for a golden shower)

    The look on your competitor's face with an expensive AR when he finds out that he have been outshot by a $2 shit-shovel .... priceless!

    ... so keep practicing.







    In the name of Michael Timofeevich Kalashnikov ... and Flintoid ... and vodka ... you are no longer a shit shovel, you are glorious AK for defense of Motherland!





    Happy Thanksgiving Everyone !!!

  2. #2
    Navy Veteran No Trucks Allowed's Avatar
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    Default

    Going through this post with a beer has been the highlight of my night. Waaay better than anything on Netflix. Outrageously entertaining. My hats off to you sir.

    "Waiting periods are only a step. Registration is only a step. The prohibition of private firearms is the goal."

    -- Janet Reno


    Member- Mt. Carmel Lodge AF&AM
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  3. #3
    NES Member Dream to Dream's Avatar
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    ... where's Adam?

    Dammit, there's a tear in my eye. I think I need to go to the next AK build party.

  4. #4
    NES Member TOY539's Avatar
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    Awesome

  5. #5
    NES Member Almostelmo's Avatar
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    This is...amazing.

  6. #6
    NES Member ColdDayInHell's Avatar
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    I need a ****ing AK!

    This is so cool haha.
    Quote Originally Posted by xtry51 View Post
    Don't want people like me hunting you down? Don't confiscate firearms from me or people I know. Simple.
    Prove your existence

    ďMy technique is donít believe anything. If you believe in something, you are automatically precluded from believing its opposite.Ē
    Terence McKenna

  7. #7
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    there are no words to explain how awesome this really is.

  8. #8
    NES Member SERE's Avatar
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    Boris,

    that is fantastic in every sense of the word!

    Thank you for sharing this with us.

    Please remind everyone to never engage in a pissing contest with you.


    To start, I wanted to anneal the shovel and pound it flat enough. To accomplish this I pissed into the furnace and lit it on fire. Then I added some waste motor oil to get to higher temps.
    S.E.R.E. Survival Evasion Resistance Escape
    " Return with Honor "

  9. #9
    NES Member FreeWillie's Avatar
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    I declare this thread...


    *** EPIC! ***

    ETA: After consultation with Supreme Committee it is determined that Boris be awarded the following medal:

    large_Russian_Medal_of_Honor_Wallpaper_63080.jpg
    Last edited by FreeWillie; 11-22-2012 at 09:02 PM.
    Support Comm2A

    ageres proprias tuas (in case you are to damn lazy to look it up, it's Latin for MYOFB)

    A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble. - Mohandas Gandhi

    Math always wins in the end. - calsdad

  10. #10
    NES Member loki32687's Avatar
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    Holy shit Boris.

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