Whats the dumbest thing you ever did when you were in the service?
This is a discussion on Whats the dumbest thing you ever did when you were in the service? within the Military Bubbas forums, part of the General category; I got absolutely blind drunk in Monte Carlo and apparently tried to fight most of the shore patrol out that ...
01-02-2011, 07:30 PM #11
I got absolutely blind drunk in Monte Carlo and apparently tried to fight most of the shore patrol out that night.
Got busted from E4 to E3 and bought myself 90 days of restriction to the ship.
My CO smarmily told me I'd end up an E3 my entire enlistment because "there aren't many open E4 billets in your rating."
He was pissed when I aced the test and made E4 the following year. I had the 2nd highest score in the whole damned Navy. The look on his face when he had to give me my stripe back was priceless.Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. - C.S. Lewis
01-02-2011, 07:37 PM #12
I did some other things........but I need to learn what the Statute of Limitations is before I admit it!If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up.
Hunter S. Thompson
It's not easy being crazy.....you really have to work at it.....Skysoldier
The First Amendment protects you from the Government, but it doesn't protect you from me punching you in your face!Skysoldier
01-02-2011, 07:45 PM #13
There was this time a few guys in my squad and I had finished with out qualifications at the Pt Mugu Firing range and deceided to head back to the barracks early with various long and side arms.
Without thinking we jumped in the back of a deuce and a half for the ride back to the Port Huneme. About halfway there we realised we had four M-16's and three 1911's with us. The platoon was gonna count weapons before heading back and when they came up short we would be toast. (instant Captian's mast)
So I hatched a plan. We had the duty driver drop us off two blocks from the armory where no body could see the truck stopped and then we hopped out, formed up and marched back to the armory in formation. We made sure to call cadence nice & loud so they'd hear us coming. When we came up in front of the armory I called "Collum right!" and "Detail, Halt !" right in front of the gate.
I rang the buzzer and announced "Detail returning arms from the range !" and held my breath....
The buzzer sounded and the Chief gunner's mate let us in and opened the little window to receive our weapons. He took every one in, put it away and gave us back our issue cards. and then he said we might make it to the chow hall if we hustled.
So that's what we did.
As we shut the outer gate behind us I heard our company's Master Chief ask the Chief gunner's mate "How'd they get here ?"
I didn't dare turn around, I kept walking, as did everyone else.
We had pulled it off by marching in all squared away looking like we owned the place.
01-02-2011, 07:46 PM #14
I was an avionics tech in the Navy, worked on and flew in E2-B early warning aircraft. My squadron was deployed on the USS Nimitz in the Med (1977)...I had just come off an arduous 12 hour shift (nights) one 3 hour flight and then spending the rest of the 9 hours repairing various systems in the aircraft...the last system I had to repair that night was the doppler radar system. I located the problem and it was a box in the "hell hole" of the aircraft, a space in the rear of the aircraft right behind the tailhook and the only way in there was through a trapdoor in the bottom of the aircraft.
I replaced the box (about 75 pounds) by installing it into it's mounting plenum rack, tightened down the ratchet wingnuts, gave it a good tug on the handles and safety wired it. I signed off the job gave the MAF (maintenance action form) to my supervisor to inspect and sign off and went to bed.
About an hour later I was woken up rather vigorously and was told to report to the maintenance Chief's office...I got up, confused as all hell, and stumbled down to his office...there in his office was that same doppler box I'd installed a few hours before and totally mangled...It seems that when I installed it, the two male pins on the bottom of the doppler unit didn't fully engage the female sockets on the plenum and when the plane was catapulted off the deck, it flipped out of the plenum, went crashing through the hell hole door and went skidding down the deck and ended up in the nets that encircled the carrier deck...I guess the airboss went apeshit and wanted to know what the hell happened...they cleared the deck for an emergency landing because in that hellhole is all kinds of control hydraulic lines for the rudders, elevators, etc etc. They didn't know if the box had clipped one or more of those lines as it came flying out and the crew wasn't taking any chances, understandably.
Fortunately, I was fairly new to the squadron being that I was only a 3rd class PO at the time, all I got was a severe toungue lashing...the guy that signed off my MAF (who was a 1st class PO as well as a 1st class asshat) never went out and actually checked the repair like he was supposed to do...he just assumed I had done it correctly. He ended up losing his inspector's credentials (QAR) for a few months. Being aircrew, I fully understood the implications of what had just happened...I could've killed 5 crewmembers and one of them could've been me. That hit me like a ton of bricks.
I learned two things that day...one, always double check your work, no matter how simple the job may seem to be and two, when I got my QAR (quality assurance rep), I always always always, checked the work...if anyone asked me why I would tell them this story.
One other thing, for those that haven't spent any time on a carrier, cameras are always rolling during flight ops forwrd deck and aft deck. I got to see the launch of that E2-B on the film and watching that plane spit that box out of it's back end as it went careening down the deck was very sobering. I considered myself very fortunate I didn't end up getting busted (or worse).
That was the stupidest/dumbest thing I ever did in the service...
Last edited by timbo; 01-02-2011 at 08:11 PM.Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined. - Patrick Henry -
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01-02-2011, 08:54 PM #15
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Worcester County
Had some drunken escapades in GA, Italy, Germany and one notable night in Istanbul, but just the typical GI's on leave kind of stuff.
01-02-2011, 09:16 PM #16
I was very fortunate after I went civilian and can't complain, but some of my buddies that stayed in got some pretty awesome jobs and they've made a real difference. Gunny Stan who got to "go native" for a year in A-Stan and is going back in a few months. Cpt. S who flies CH-53's. Sgt A who did some secret squirrel stuff and now works as a "contractor." They don't make a lot of money but they love what they do.
01-03-2011, 03:14 AM #17
Doing gate duty and confiscating and expired ID card from a 2 star. That started a bunch of crap, but hey, orders are orders. He ranted and raved for a couple minutes and then went to my commander when I basically told him to pound sand (respectfully)
The next day he came back and gave a coin to the guy I had been working with (I was off duty) and told him that he drove an hour out of his way to apologize because we were just following orders.
Another time I had been out with the guys drinking all night and got back just in time for formation. They grabbed me and another guy to go help the MP lock up a dude that was drunk on duty and being an @hole. So there I was, drunk on duty, helping to lock up a guy that was drunk on duty...
01-03-2011, 03:49 AM #18
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- US of A
Last edited by GSG; 01-03-2011 at 04:46 AM.
01-03-2011, 05:46 AM #19
OK, I'll play - I disabled my jeep with explosives on my first field exercise.
It was a force-on-force training exercise, and I was a brand new platoon leader for a platoon of combat engineers in the 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell.
We had the mission to blow a road crater, and I assigned 1st squad to accomplish it. The squad leader called a little later, saying he was all set, except he forgot the detonating wire! Time was ticking by, and the Force Commander (Infantry Colonel) wanted that road crater in now!
I hopped in my jeep, ran down to another squad, grabbed their roll of wire and flew off to 1st squad. As we showed up at the mission site we had about 5 minutes to meet our deadline. I jumped out of the jeep, told my driver to take it down the road, and sprinted to where the squad leader was waiting. We hooked up the wire, reeled it out, and realized there was only about 200 feet of wire on the reel.
Now, realize, we had about 200 pounds of fertilizer primed and ready, and the safety stand-off was a hell of a lot more than 200 feet. But, being mission-oriented (and a dumb-ass newbie lieutenant), I gave the go-ahead and we squeezed the clacker.
BOOM! Immediately, huge blobs of mud and rock came raining down on us! We hugged the trees to avoided getting clobbered.
Finally, it stopped raining mud and we went out to see the result. As I approached the hole, my driver said, "Ah, Sir, you need to see something." I looked over, and just 20 yards from where I jumped out sat my jeep! When I bailed, the driver did too! He never took it down the road.
Sitting on top of the hood of the jeep was a blob of mud and rock the size of a washing machine. The hood was bashed in, the carb was smashed right off the engine. The jeep was dead.
Of course, I figured my first mission in the US Army would also be my last. The Battalion Executive Officer drove up, took one look and said, "Anyone hurt?"
"Did you learn a lesson here today?"
He told me to get the hell back to my company and he would take care of the jeep. Nothing was ever said about it later, it never effected my appraisal rating, and I stayed another 10 years in the Army before voluntarily leaving during the RIF in 1992.
But I have always been very careful around explosives since.
*"It's so adorable that you're looking for this shit to make sense. You're such a special little snowflake." Jasons to Dench
"I love a good gun, for it makes a man feel independent, and prepared either for war or peace." - Davy Crockett, 1834.
"When asked in 1998 how he had become such a good shot, he answered, "Practice." When asked if he regretted killing so many people, he said "I did what I was told to as well as I could." - Finnish Sniper Simo Hayha
01-03-2011, 05:51 AM #20
I just thought of another one. I was patrolling the base perimeter in a Humvee and I took it through some wooded trails I was unfamiliar with. The trail kept on getting narrower, but there was no possible way to turn around, so I kept on going. Finally I had to push my way through a couple small trees and I wound up in the back yards of the officer's housing area. There was no way to get to the street through the yards, so I had to drive through about 6 backyards before I could get out.
It was a weekend in the summer and everyone was outside sunbathing or barbequing, whatever. I just waved and slowly drove through the yards ignoring the screaming zeros. I got chewed out pretty bad for that one.